So, I was sitting here eating a hot sausage and finishing my coffee when it occurred to me that bisexual sex between men isn’t homogeneous; it’s not all-encompassing because of the reasoning behind having the sex and not necessarily what two guys can do with each other.
I was thinking about how having that affinity toward men can lead to affection which can lead to having the sex in some way; then there’s “stumbling” upon the thrill of, say, having a guy vacuum out all of the sperm you own and thinking, “Shit, I wouldn’t mind doing this again!” because, well, while it’s an ages-old way to get a nut, it’s just different when the person making you cum has a five o’clock shadow.
I was thinking about the progression, how a guy becomes aware of this “change” in his sexuality and gets a grip on it – then the next thing on the agenda is what to do about what he’s feeling. As you’ve read recently, he doesn’t have to do anything about it other than accept the fact that this is how he feels toward his fellow-man.
Yeah, a lot of guys’ thoughts turn toward the sex and perhaps they’ve already made up their mind about what they want to experience or they begin the slower process of analyzing it, like being able to suck dick or being able to take a hard one in the back door.
To this end, conversations with newbies (in particular) revealed that they weren’t concerned about whether or not they could lie back and let another guy suck them, nor were they all that worried about their ability to get dick-deep in another dude’s butt. Nah, the biggest concerns were about what they may or may not be able to do and, yeah, even being able to reach out and grab another man’s cock isn’t all that easy for some guys to do.
For a lot of guys, they will eventually get into the sex and find out that which they like and don’t care for… and life goes on. The affinity for men drives their affection and, thus, makes the push toward sexual expression damn near a given – it’s like you just gotta do it, as evidenced by Foxy saying that he felt that he just had to have his ticket punched and go for the full Monte.
Then you have the guy who, for some reason or another, gets introduced to the sex and without having the affinity or even questioning his sexuality. How they get to this moment is varied but some of the common reasons are dissatisfaction with women, doing it as a dare, getting caught up in a moment while high or otherwise intoxicated and, yeah, some straight dudes actually get seduced into giving up the dick. Some guys will even deduce that they’ve done everything sexually with a woman that’s possible so having sex with a guy is just the next thing on the list of things to do.
I’ve had conversations with guys like this, the guy who isn’t bisexual or gay but is into the sex. It’s a different mindset because minus the affinity, it’s just sex, just another way to get one’s rocks off and the only feelings felt for the other guy is lust… and it’s not particular lust for his male partner, either.
It’s like, I want to fuck, this guy is willing to accommodate me, cool, let’s do this thing.
Some guys feel that this approach to the sex is impersonal; it lacks the intimacy associated with sex – and it makes sense since there are no feelings for the other guy other than maybe liking him enough to get naked with him.
It just might be me, but I see a line drawn between the bisexual who has the affinity and the guy who has sex with guys just because it’s convenient. Yes, the sex, in and of itself, doesn’t change – it’s the same stuff but, again, it’s the approach to it that, to me, makes all the difference in the world. There’s a difference that can be felt between having sex with a guy who actually cares about you… and a guy who just sees you as a means to an end.
My thoughts then turned to just why we all don’t do it all. It’s not that we can’t do it from A to Z and, yes, a great deal of this is personal preference. What I’ve noticed, though, is guys who have the affinity tend to be more considerate than the guy who does this for the thrill of it. In my experience, these are the guys who want you to suck their dicks, swallow their jizz – and then offer up your ass for them to fuck with wild abandon and if you don’t get the chance to do the same to them, well, that’s just too bad.
I’ve had such men get pissed with me because I won’t consent to anal sex and some have gotten rather bent about it. They insist that if I was a real man, then I’d be willing to do it all, no questions asked, and without hesitation and, trust me, this is an attitude that’ll make you not want to have the sex at all.
Compare this to the guy with the affinity and affection and to whom having anal sex isn’t that big of a deal or is something that’s reserved for the one guy his affection and affinity truly meshes with; otherwise, we can do everything else but that and it’ll be all good.
It’s the difference between having someone sucking your dick because (a) they love doing it and (b) they love doing it to you… and the guy who sucks dick simply because it’s part of the deal. It’s weird in that it makes it seem like a different form of sex and, well, yeah, leave it to me to have this difference pop into my head because it is something a guy should think about before rushing to have the sex.
Because it does and should matter if you’re working your way toward your first sexual experience with another man. Your approach to the sex is going to set the foundation for you going forward and boils down to something really simple: Do you want whatever sex you have to mean something… or is all you care about is getting your cookies crumbled?