News From the DL

As I set up to bring you the latest news from the DL (straight people, you may leave the room now), I realized that I just added the most tags for a single post that I can remember… and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.  So, let’s get to it!

My iPod has an app that’ll connect me with the site you’ve heard me mention in these particular blogs; the app recently had an update and it seemed to me that the moment I applied said update, the little notifier was letting me know that I had messages… lots of messages.  Now, I’m kinda anal about those notifications in that when I see one of those white on red numbers, I just gotta get rid of it so my home page looks nice for the same reason why I don’t have icons plastered all over my computer’s desktop – it just gets on my nerves to have all that clutter.

Anyway, I sign in to see what insanity has decided to visit me and, yep, Jeez, I know guys can be rather single-minded when it comes to pursuing any chance to get a nut… but damn!  In all fairness, some of the messages that kept pouring in were just guys either “smiling” at me or telling me how good I look or just saying hello – I don’t mind those and will admit to being a bit flattered at the compliments.  The rest of them…

I had seven messages from faceless dudes telling me how much they’d love to fuck me – whether they read my profile or not is anyone’s guess but I did ask one fool if he had – and he said he did.  I then asked him that, if you read it, what part of “I don’t do anal” didn’t you understand?  Of course, he vanished after that and I doubt that I’ll hear from him again.

I had another seven messages from – again – faceless dudes wanting to know if we could hook up right now… like I was really going to do that.  I’m reading these messages and hurting my eyes rolling them so much; I did respond to these, saying that I’m not looking to hook up – ’cause I’m not.  Of the seven, five responded by saying a variation of, “Okay, well, we can hook up later if you want to…” – um, did you not understand the words that came off my fingers about that?  I can only assume that you do read the English language.

Now, you’ve probably read my rants and raves about this a few times and are probably wondering (or not) why I remain a member of this site if it tends to push my buttons so much – and here’s the answer to that one… because I’ve wondered about it myself.  I keep my profile active just to see who’s gonna respond to it and what, if anything, they might say and while I do kinda bitch and moan about some of the asinine things I see, I do find it rather fascinating to see just how hard some guys push to get this kind of sex from other guys.

Some want it bad enough to either not read a profile or just ignore it, maybe stupidly assuming that just because they want to do something the other guy might not want to, um, he might change his mind and do what the requestor’s asking for.  That would be like me going to a restaurant, finding out they have liver on the menu (and I hate liver) and ordering a steak… but they bring me liver anyway… so picture me ripping someone a new one and not in a very nice way.

One of my “favorite” messages – or series of messages as it turned out – was from – again – a faceless person who took it upon himself to tell me how good I looked per my profile pic (it’s a clean pic by the way) and that in one message, he had a hard-on viewing my picture and, in the next, how it made him want to “jerk my thing,” as he put it.  It’s one of those what the fuck moments as I try to figure out what the hell this guy is thinking about.  I did respond to his last message – the devil in me couldn’t resist saying something – and I told him, “That’s nice!  Are you having fun doing that?”

He hasn’t answered, which is a bit of a shame… because I kinda wanted to know if he was, in fact, having fun beating his meat.  Ah, but I know that he only said this to (a) create a picture in my mind and (b) get me to hook up with him… just because his dick is hard… and a dick I can’t even see because, duh, he doesn’t have any pictures on his profile at all.

I often think that some of these guys think that anyone who’s on this site – or similar sites if they exist – are so hard up for dick that they will take anything that comes along and your personal preferences don’t mean a whole lot to them.  Hah, one dude unlocked his private picture for me and, yep, I looked at it and I’d have to say that it was a nice picture of his cock; however, his next message after I paid him the obligatory compliment was, “Now picture it in your ass!”

Uh-huh, yep, I can sure as hell not see that happening; the dick was nice but wasn’t that nice, thank you very much.  And despite my being nice and telling him that I don’t do that, he had the audacity to say, “I know this will make you change your mind so when can we hook up?”

How about the 15th of March 2135?  That soon enough for you?  Okay, I do get that when you’re trying to get laid in this manner, one must be confident about their desire, ability and, yeah, their equipment… but what makes them think that there are guys who don’t have other things that matters to them?

See, guys are stupid (like y’all didn’t know that already?); they do figure that if they show you their dick or even their ass, well, that’s all the incentive you need to get naked with them and, yeah, I’m sure you can see the same thing on straight sites that allow such pictures.  Again, shit, I do not have a problem looking at a picture of a dick, erect or otherwise and if for no other reason than I can and do appreciate the beauty in another man’s junk and, um, I like looking at dicks just as much as I like looking at pussy.

Still, I wonder what makes these guys think that, okay, we’ve shown each other our dicks… and that now means that there has to be a live viewing?  For all the budding bi guys out there, yeah, there is such a thing as requiring something that has more substance, like, oh, giving a shit about the other guy’s preferences, for instance?  Showing off your junk is fine… but what ultimately matters is how we might go about negotiating the deal after flashing each other and, sadly, a great many guys utterly fail at this point and don’t seem to get it.

Like the one message I got that simply said, “Hi – I’m horny!”  Okay, thanks for sharing that… and?  I didn’t deign to respond to this one (or the other five just like it); a few seconds later, shit, that white on red number appeared again and, double shit, okay, let me find out what this is all about!  Damned thing just won’t leave me alone today!  So, I look and it’s the same guy from before – but this time he’s asking, “Are you there?  Wassup?”

Wassup, indeed?  All of this says some pretty sorry shit about guys looking to get busy with other guys.  The one nice online conversation – read that as an exchange of internal emails – had been my agreeing with another guy that the majority of the dudes looking to get laid on this site are not only full of shit, they’re full of themselves, and total assholes and even more so when they don’t have the guts to show their faces, dicks, or even asses, for that matter.

I do get that for guys doing this, well, no, we often don’t want to waste time or words trying to get the hookup; indeed, a lot of men get into this because there’s usually less ‘muss and fuss’ trying to get into a guy’s pants than there is trying to get into a woman’s panties.  Sometimes, it really is as simple as, “Do you want to?  Yes? Okay, when and where?  Oh, your place in twenty minutes?  Cool – I’ll be there!”  Still – and maybe it’s just me (but I doubt it) but one needs to say something with bit more substance than, say, “I’m horny!”

Yeah, fella, ain’t we all?  One should be a bit more, ah, tactful than most of these guys tend to be; so what if you have an erection?  Do I even care that you want to do something with me I’m not of a mind to do?  Do the words “Oral Only” mean anything to you?  Shit, motherfucker, can you even read?  And what the fuck makes you think I’m ‘that kind of guy’ and as desperate as you appear to be bothering me with this kiddie shit?

To wrap this edition up for now, see, this is why I maintain that when you’re into this kind of sex, it’s not all that hard to understand why women react to our advances in the way they do.  It’s not about the size of your dick or whatever you might want to do with it; it is, however, about what you say and how you go about saying it that’ll either get you laid… or get you laughed at or, even worse, summarily ignored.  You have to know that if you can’t get a guy who wants to have sex with another guy to have sex with you, your shit – indeed, your entire game – is totally and completely fucked up.

And I don’t have a problem telling people just how fucked up your game is…