This will be my 50th WordPress post so I thought I’d really do it up by doing a little writing about this. The “motivation” for this came from reading a fellow blogger’s writing about how wives should give their men blow jobs and, well, I have some thoughts about this.
First, here’s my thought: If you don’t love doing it, don’t do it at all. Probably one of the worst feelings in the world is having oral sex with someone who (a) doesn’t really want to do it (b) is only doing it because it’s expected or demanded and, (c) doing it just to shut you up. Men and women, of course, are quite funny about such things, especially where getting one’s rocks off are concerned. Most men I know have no problem dumping a load of sperm into a woman’s mouth; never heard a guy say, “No, baby, I don’t want to do that!” Women know we love this almost to a man and, indeed, some women wouldn’t have it any other way… but we’re not talking about them. But, most women I know, busting a nut in their mouth is so far off their radar that a lot of them will not do it at all because, well, accidents do happen.
Over the years, I’ve heard almost every excuse surrounding it from “it tastes nasty” to “I don’t because that’s what he expects.” Now, if you’ve ever heard these things or similar words, you know how frustrating it can be but what it says that, to that end, she does not have your pleasure in mind – not doing it is all about her. Okay, there are some things I do understand about this: Guys are also the reason why women won’t do it; you only have to imagine what it’s like to have a 200-pound man with an erection and he’s got a handful of your hair or your head in a vise-like manner and he’s slamming his dick into your mouth and, there’s your problem; as someone who sucks cock, I can ruefully say that I’ve been there, had that done and, no, it’s not my idea of fun either. One of the first things you have to remember that a mouth ain’t a pussy and, thus, you can’t fuck one like that no matter what you’ve seen on the pornos you have hidden in your sock drawer and, no, women do not like that shit.
So, yeah, a lot of women have already been traumatized like this and had their faith and trust equally abused. I have actually heard guys swear on a stack of bibles that he wasn’t going to cum in her mouth… and guess what happened? So, if your woman won’t give you a complete blowjob, there’s a good reason for ya.
I can tell you from personal experience that, yes, it is an acquired taste and it’s one not everyone can acquire but, if you love doing it, you’ll acquire it.
My own ex-wife refused to do it, not because I abused her or even because she never acquired the taste; no, he reason for doing it was that once she got me off, then she’d have to wait x-amount of time for me to get it up and stick it in her – and she wasn’t going to wait for that so, in the 30-something years I was married to her, she only sucked me off twice on purpose, once accidentally… and even then she complained about it. I know women who will only do this for their man on special occasions or if it’s been at least five years or more since the last time she did it and, oops, I guess it’s about time, huh?
Here’s the funny part: These are the same people who expect you to put your face between their legs and keep it there until they’re satisfied or so raw even a stray breeze is uncomfortable. They complain about the way our sperm tastes but, um, girls, if you really think your coochie is always as fresh as a daisy – even after you’ve washed it – guess again. That ain’t always the case and we know it… and we’re not going to talk about the stuff that either oozes out of there or comes squirting out are we?
I’ve come to understand that, yes, there are a ton of reasons why oral sex isn’t enjoyed as much as anyone would like but it’s my opinion that if you love to do it, it makes doing it that much better. Me, I love to eat pussy and suck dick and the simplest way to explain it is that it just feels so fucking good to be doing it. I’m usually fairly sure they’re being pleased as well but, um, I’m not doing this because of you – this is really about me and something I absolutely love to do – and you’re benefiting from it so, pipe down, open up, and let me have my way with you.
I remember my father cautioning me to never put my face between a girl’s legs… but he never said why. So, five minutes after he said this, I had my face buried between a girl’s legs to find out for myself what the deal was and I even went back to my father many years later and told him what I’d done after our talk – and that putting my face between a girl’s legs was the smartest thing I ever did.
You can have the biggest, fattest, longest dick in the world but if you can’t eat pussy, well, it sucks to be you, doesn’t it?
It’s also my believe that it is this inability and/or unwillingness to perfect or perform oral sex that not only makes people cheat on each other, but send some people over to the same side for the pleasure. Yeah, that’s right – I said it: Ladies, if you don’t suck him off, there’s a guy out there more than willing to do it. Guys? A little nervous or inept at eating at the Y? You can bet your ass that there’s a girl not only willing to do it but she’s way better than you even on her worst days and capable of delivering a lot more pleasure… and she doesn’t need a dick to do that.
So, if you know these things – and most people do – why run the risk of having someone else doing your man or woman when you can do it yourself? Guys, why insist on being blown if you’re not equally willing to eat her until she can’t see straight? Likewise, ladies, don’t be demanding that we eat you until you’re satisfied if you’re not going to ever return the favor.
I know if I were to pose this question on the site, oh, man, the shit would hit the fan big time because there are soooo many opinions about this… and very little in the way of common sense, methinks. If you are wondering why your sex life isn’t as exciting as you think it should be, um, you might want to consider how much oral sex is going on in your bedroom… or not. I’m not talking about those times when you get sucked to help your boner along – I’m talking about the other thing a lot of women won’t do for whatever reason. If you can count on one hand the number of times you’ve been sucked off, well, there’s your problem most likely. Girls, if that man of yours only gives you a few token licks before climbing aboard and wailing away on you, you might want to ask him what’s up with that… then ask him to fix it.
Then again, as I said in the beginning of this, if you don’t love to do it, you probably shouldn’t be doing it at all. The same blogger that got me thinking about this also wrote something about how feminists ruin sex for men and women. It was an interesting writing, although I kinda detected a bit of dislike for feminists in his choice of word but, yeah, when it comes to oral sex, you see the kind of thing my fellow blogger was talking about where women want to be in control of when the sex is going to happen and how it’s going to happen. I don’t know if the feminist Nazis are really lurking about, but I can say for certain that I’ve seen this type of behavior all of my sexual life so, to me, this ain’t nothing new – and I came up before there was such a thing as a bra-burning, man-hating feminist.
Men and women are ALWAYS complaining about what the other wants to do sexually and we’re never really on the same page about it, are we? Some want more – and ain’t getting it; some want less and are getting too much; some want one thing while the other ain’t trying to hear it. Oral sex fits into this ball of confusion rather nicely, I think. From my experiences, of course, it’s always been if you’re a guy, you’d better eat that pussy good… or you will be replaced no matter how good you can actually fuck her. And women get away with this, mostly because they know they can… and we let them because, well, we’re supposed to? Guys, roll up on your lady and tell her that either she sucks you off or she’ll be replaced… and find out what’ll happen – and I can assure you that it won’t be pretty.
Are we that selfish anymore that while we always want to be pleasured, we’ve got problems when it comes to pleasuring? Giving my girl her props, she’ll suck me off for no reason at all other than she loves doing it – and I’ve never had to ask her to do it; quite the contrary, there have been times when I’ve asked her NOT to do it! Oh, sure, she’ll start off with the thought that she’s not going to do it because, yeah, she likes feeling me inside her and I love being there… but I’ve come to learn when she’s not just going to stop… and I don’t stop her either – made that mistake once and got cussed out. She’ll even apologize for changing the game plan… yeah, like I’m really gonna complain? Don’t apologize… but do it again soon, will ya?
Is it selfishness or is my fellow blogger right in that equality in something like this isn’t supposed to be the way things are done? I know over the years, I’ve had this discussion more times than I care about. You won’t suck me off… but you want me to eat you until you cum, squirt, or however you get your girl rocks off? If I think you’re wrong for not doing me the way I do you, then I’m an asshole? A woman’s prerogative? Perhaps and, like I said, I can understand why that might be. My brothers, if your girl’s not sucking the life out of you, you can blame some other guy for it and, yes, we know that if one guy fucks it up, it’s fucked up for every guy.
Men who don’t eat pussy or don’t eat it well don’t have happy sex lives. Sure, women like to feel that thang inside them but if you don’t know that giving them a good eating will really get her juices flowing, you need to go back to man school and take the class again – and stay awake this time. Are there situations not to eat her? Of course there is but if none of those things are in play, damn it, eat her until she has to beat you off with a stick!
Women who don’t or rarely suck a man off? I can assure you that if you won’t, someone else will and, yeah, he might even leave you for that. Now, I know what you’re thinking: What about me? What if I don’t want to? Why does it have to be about him? Good questions… but if that’s the way you think, you need an attitude adjustment because if it’s true that the surest way to keep your lady is to eat that pussy, the surest way to keep him is to suck his balls dry on a regular basis. Don’t believe me? Go ask him. They’ll tell you the same lie we all tell: “Baby, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” That is way of saying, “Damned right I want you to do it!” He respects your right not do but, ah, if you’re going to, damned right we want you to do it. Your woman might tell you, “Well, I don’t expect or want you to eat me all of the time.” Oh, please…
Are there times, my dear, when you don’t want to be eaten raw? Sure there are; but we know – or should know – that you will ALWAYS want to be eaten into at least one good orgasm because we know that that little “lick, lick, stick” shit don’t work with you. I’ve even heard women say, “I’ve never gotten off like that.” Well, sweetie, that’s probably because of two things: Either he doesn’t know how to eat pussy… or you don’t know how to be eaten. Getting eaten into intense orgasms is actually kinda scary for some women; one woman I know felt them so intensely that when I ate her, she’d pass out from sensory overload; after a few times of this happening, she’d go out of her way to limit the time I spent eating her. Pissed me off, too, because she has a pussy I’d probably kill someone to eat.
I don’t know why a lot of people are such wussies about this. If you love them, do this for them and you’ll probably never have to worry about them straying – or asking you to get into swinging with them or just up and leaving you for someone who will do it. Don’t do it out of obligation or to get them to get off your case about it – do it because you love them and you love to do it, period.