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Maybe It’s Because…

17 May

On the heels of “Oh No Not Again!” and the sheer coincidence of a comment made about this, my baby and I were talking about this blog late last night and was having a good time discussing why someone would ask this question or search for information on this – it was spirited, light-hearted and, since I was in the conversation, quite funny.

We touched on the fact that, yeah, women just might not like cum in their ass… or any place else, for that matter.  We were discussing whether or not men or women find feeling spunk inside them pleasurable or if it’s being able to feel it happening that triggers a pleasurable response.  I had her laughing when I said that sometimes, women will be all into and yelling out, “Shoot it in me!  Give me all of it!”  We deliver the goods, she’s all nice and happy… and then she says, “Oh, look at the mess you made!  Jeez, now I’m all sticky and shit and, oh, look what happened now!  Now I gotta change the bed again because that shit is all over the place – I don’t know why I let you do that!  Get your ass up and help me remake the bed…”

We were having fun with this but an “aversion” to sperm is a serious thing for some folks.  We’ve all heard about it being an acquired taste… but I also know that the actual texture of sperm can give some folks the willies.  It can be thin and watery or it can be as thick as glue and there are physiological reasons for why it can be like that, not only from man to man but even in the same guy.

It’s funny but, well, maybe not so much for some people.  It’s odd that when we’re having sex, we know the ultimate goal is for women to have orgasms and for men to ejaculate and we’ll do everything in our power to make these two things happen and when they can happen together, well, does it get any better than that?  I know I’ve done the nasty and we’re working to get there – maybe not at the same precise time – but immediately after I’ve released and we’ve caught our breaths and all that, a lot of women are off and running to the bathroom to get rid of what we both worked hard to put in there.

For the longest time, I always wondered why and, in my early years, I was somewhat offended by the act.  I’d bust a nut, we regroup and, whoops, there she goes, hauling ass off to the bathroom so fast you’d think she got beamed in there.  I asked one girl why women did that and her answer was rather simple:  “That shit is messy and nasty and I don’t like the way it feels when it’s running out of me; hand me that wash cloth, will you?”

And I thought, “Really?”  It actually made me stop and look at the things I was doing with guys and, sure enough, I realized that, hey, she had a point there!  I stopped and thought about how many times some dude had made a deposit inside me… and I was still dealing with it hours after the fact and despite my best efforts to clean up, I had white crusty stains in my underwear – and not where you’d think a guy would have them.

That anyone could be “repulsed” by this actually makes a lot of sense just as it makes sense that a woman, being the one on the receiving end in the majority of times, would have some angst about it after it’s been delivered – and it has nothing to do with averting pregnancy or having to acquire the taste.  I now direct your attention to porn flicks, in which you can see this aversion in action.

So you’re sitting there viewing forty-five minutes of scripted and edited sex, the guy gets to his big moment, pulls out, aims his cock at girlfriend’s face and makes a delivery… but what I tend to notice is how she’s reacting to his imminent explosion and, sometimes, the looks they get on their faces is precious – but you know that she’d rather have it in her than on her and more so if the guy really brought the juice and, oh, fuck, now it’s in her hair, all in her eye, up her nose and, yuck, some of it got in her mouth.  Haven’t you seen women trying to avoid the cum shot so much that the guy actually has to grab her head and do his best to hold it still?

A lot of guys don’t understand the disdain for their spunk… mostly because they’re not the ones who have to clean it up after the fact.  Sometimes, the consistency is just a bitch to deal with; you’re trying to get it off of you because, it came out at his body temperature but now it’s a rapidly cooling, slimy and/or sticky mess and trying to wipe away one glob of it is like trying to catch up with a drop of mercury.

Or, if his stuff is runny and watery, shit, it’s everywhere and if it’s inside you, well, you’re going to be leaking sperm for a while and it is rather unpleasant.  It was fun getting him to do that… but, damn it, now the sheets have to be changed, you filthy bastard!  You just had to shoot that mess, didn’t ya?

You can imagine the guy looking at her with total bewilderment and saying, “But, baby, you told me to do it!”

And she looks at him with a look that could freeze water instantly and says, “What does that have to do with anything?  Get off your ass and change the sheets yourself, asshole!”

Some guys do have experience with the clean-up when we masturbate and depending volume and consistency, yep, that’s a chore all by itself, ain’t it?  Yeah, you can easily go through half a roll of toilet paper or a box of tissues getting rid of the mess, right?

I know a lot of people rush to get rid of the goo, not just because it’s messy but when it comes into contact with the air, oh, hell, that shit stinks to high heaven and even more so when combined with someone else’s body chemistry.  Ah, yeah, the science of it is rather fascinating!  Most of us know that things we eat and drink can mess around with the way our spunk tastes, smells and feels, like the interaction between seminal fluid/sperm and asparagus; something about those verdant spears of goodness can make our shit really nasty!

As my baby and I talked about all the reasons why it could be liked and disliked, I searched my memory to find those instances where, yeah, I wasn’t too crazy about dealing with it during or after delivery.  Again, there’s that whole acquired taste thing but, yeah, it’s also about dealing with the volume of it and its consistency and, uh-uh, even someone like me who acquired the taste a long time ago found in my mind that, yuck, that shit is really kinda nasty to deal with at some point.

And if the delivery method wasn’t quite to your liking, it makes dealing with the mess afterward quite unpleasant.  I recalled that I’d had some of those moments and, simply based on my own experiences with spunk, yeah, I can see why someone wouldn’t like cum anywhere in or on them so, no, it’s not a given that it’s liked; you might like how it got there but…

I can see how this can, um, complicate sexual relationships.  If a woman won’t suck her man off, it may not be due to someone terrorizing her with it in the past – she just might hate the taste and feel of it to the point where not only is she not going to swallow it, she doesn’t even want that crap in her mouth… and, really, putting it inside her elsewhere isn’t the joy you think it is because even if it’s her vaginal vault or her anus, um, it just doesn’t feel right being there, kinda like getting something in your eye and getting rid of it quickly is a high-priority concern.

In this regard, I searched my memory – as Linda and I talked and laughed and had a great time with each other – of those moments when I’ve been looking at someone right at the moment of release… and I’ve seen that look on his or her face and it’s not a nice one, especially if they can actually feel it inside them.  Obviously it was something my brain recorded and, since I was doing what I was doing, I never paid much attention to it – until now.

I suppose it’s just an assumption that having a man’s sperm inside them is always a good thing… and maybe, just maybe, that’s not always the case.  Ah, man, it’s like if I knew you didn’t like it in you (or on you), shit, well, maybe I shouldn’t do it?  Should I try to wear condoms so that you don’t have to deal with it in any way?  And, oh, yeah, if I do this, now it’s on me to clean up the mess afterward and, since I do masturbate, eh, I know how much I don’t like cleaning up after jacking off at times.

I suppose that, in worse case situations, Houston, we have a problem.  Could it be that girlfriend hauls ass to the bathroom to get rid of my stuff because, while she liked what was going on before I put it there, now it’s just an undesirable mess to clean up?  Maybe women – or even men – don’t like cum in their ass; it’s fun when it goes in – maybe – but, at some point, it’s gonna find its way out of you and, ew, what a fucking mess and it just feels so yucky!  Yeah, and being honest, haven’t there been times when I wasn’t all that crazy about it?

Maybe what started out as a “dumb” search query has some real merit and something that can make a difference in one’s sexual relationship?  As men, we just assume that the person on the other end not only knows that we’re going to do this but that they like it as well… and maybe that’s not really the case for some?

I’ve talked to women (in particular) who have gone over to the other side and, yep, one of the reasons why they did was because with a woman, you don’t have that yucky mess to deal with; that some women squirt is a different matter (but maybe similar?).  They like having something inside them somewhere and your standard dildo isn’t designed to ejaculate – there are some that simulate it – so there’s no mess to deal with in that sense.

Yes, there are women who have this angst because that stuff does make babies and especially when you don’t want to have one… but maybe it’s because it can be so fucking messy and, in and of itself, just flat-out doesn’t feel good inside you anywhere?  It really makes me want to take back what I said in the last blog and say definitively that the answer really is, “Maybe not.”

Maybe, just maybe, what can make any sexual act unpleasant is not what’s being done – it’s the mess that has to be dealt with after the fact and even some feelings that crop up while it’s happening?  To that end, yeah, it’s not that unreasonable a question, is it?

I now find myself scanning my memories and this will take some time; maybe I’ll come back later and share with you what I’ve found…

 
3 Comments

Posted by on 17 May 2011 in Life, Living and Loving

 

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3 responses to “Maybe It’s Because…

  1. marriagecoach1

    18 May 2011 at 08:36

    I once saw a bumper sticker that I still remember to this day. It said:
    “Women of the world unite, make him sleep in the wet spot tonight”

    Actually, there is a solution. I have the woman immediately stand and have one of my t shirts or a towel and have her do Kegels which expels my come from her pussy and lands it squarely in the towel. Or you could have a beach towel protecting the sheets from leaking come, or better yet, have sex and then when you are ready to come, your woman goes down on you and swallows, no mess, no muss no fuss. Women are too damned picky and prissy sometimes. It is part of that reverse sexism that states that women are good and men are bad.

    John

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    • kdaddy23

      18 May 2011 at 17:11

      Hey, I’ve slept in the wet spot and have been quite pleased there was a wet spot to sleep in! The towel thing is a good one – easier to wash towels than entire sheet sets – although in those spontaneous moments, um, what towel? That whole swallowing thing? No offense, my friend, but if you’ve never done it, you can’t really get your head around it; easy enough to know how to do it “properly,” something else when you actually have to deal with it yourself. So, yeah, it makes women appear to be picky and prissy in this but, ah, re-read the last sentence. Maybe it makes a guy a bit more sympathetic – and not – but as far as this goes, I can see women being pissy about this when we, as men, are basically telling them that this is the way it’s supposed to be so deal with it and keep letting me put this stuff in you wherever I please.

      As a bisexual, if someone was running this crap under me, well, I hope they have good insurance. I’ve said, from time to time, when you make this a chore, who really wants to do it? It takes the fun out of sex and puts duty and obligation at the forefront. If a woman has some aversion to sperm – and you keep making her deal with it because that’s the way it’s supposed to be – what do you think is going to happen at some point? Does a man really think that insisting that she like it is going to make her like it?

      Nah, this is one of those things that, in my opinion, has nothing to do with reverse sexism; it really is a legitimate complaint even though I poke fun at it. All a guy has to do is go spank the monkey, crack his nuts open – then just look at the results and I mean examine it and perhaps by doing do, they can, at the least, get an idea why some women don’t want to deal with the stuff in any way. It is messy; it’s slimy, can taste and smell horrible for various reasons; it can be quite sticky or a watery, whey-like mess to swallow or get off of – and out of – one’s body. You, generally speaking, might say that because you masturbate and, thus, have to deal with it after the fact, it’s no big deal… but that’s probably because (a) you’re used to it and (b) you haven’t really paid much attention to exactly what it is, how it’s put together, and a few other things that guys just don’t pay attention to… because they don’t have to. It remind me of part of a Bill Cosby routine he did when talking about getting his wife pregnant; “It’s the person’s fault who last had it! I gave it to you – what did you do with it?”

      It’s the man’s job to deliver it and the woman’s job (or a man) to deal with it after delivery, right? That’s the general mindset and that someone might not be feeling this is ignored – and then guys want to know why women won’t suck them off? Again, I’d suggest to any man to put himself in that position and find out first-hand what it’s like… and then maybe they’d understand this better. I don’t get upset when a woman won’t get me off like that but, uh, that’s because I know what the deal is…

      Like

       
  2. marriagecoach1

    18 May 2011 at 17:19

    Well I have swallowed my own come at a woman’s request and still she refused. A lot of women take pride in swallowing a guy’s come just as I pride myself on orally pleasuring a woman and giving her a good tongue fucking, secretions and all and yes I swallow a woman’s secretions, so I am no hypocrite here.
    John

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