He Did What?

I’ve got the writing itch so to help scratch it, I went trolling the web and came across this story:  http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-57320571-10391704/rugby-jock-says-stroke-turned-him-gay.

I saw this and blinked very slowly; I have learned that a stroke can change you and in some very crazy ways.  I had a stroke (as some of y’all already know) and one of the things I was concerned with was any noticeable change in my personality as well as my ability to think and remember and, oh, yeah, learning how to walk again and trying to be friends with my never-ending pain.  But this guy says when he came to, um, his sexuality changed so I guess I was wrong when I said that you don’t just wake up one day and decide you’re going to be gay, huh?

Doctors are guess that the injury to his brain may have switched something on or, more realistically, unblocked something he wasn’t aware of – but had been in his head the whole time.  People with MD after their names tend to get a little fuzzy about things because while there’s a lot of things we understand about humans, how our brains actually work remains one of mankind’s greatest mysteries.

I know that once you have a stroke, your brain starts to rewire itself, bypassing damaged areas as best it can and, often, restoring functions, like the ability to walk and talk and other stuff like that.  So, yeah, I have reason to believe – and without any real clinical proof – that it’s quite possible that as his brain rebooted and started rewiring itself, it could have very well tapped into a hidden facet of the man’s mind and, uh-oh, he’s now a gay man.

I really don’t mean to make light of this guy’s plight but I remember the hours following my stroke, lying in the ICU and my biggest concern was being able to survive the doses of TPP – the rotor rooter drug – being fed in to me.  I was worried about being alive and functional… and this guy woke up with a craving for men and dick?  Man, that had to be just as hard of a shock to him as being told he had a stroke!  The good thing is that he seems to have adjusted well to his “new” sexuality and, trust me, when you have a stroke and survive it intact for the most part, having a very positive outlook is high up on the menu… because the alternatives aren’t exactly what I’d call pretty.

I’ve either heard or read stories where people have had some sort of insult to their brains… and have had some of the weirdest shit happen as a result, like being able to speak a foreign language like a native… but have never heard the language spoken before.  Or the woman who suffered some injury – born and raised in America – but has an English accent as if she’s lived in the UK all her natural life.

I know it kinda weirds me out to know that my brain could still be rewiring itself some five – almost six – years after my stroke and, well, it creates a weird sense of distrust in that I’m the way I am now… but there might be some road construction going on in my head that might change that in the blink of an eye.  It doesn’t scare me – much – but I do think it’s hilarious to think about myself in these terms since, before the stroke, I had no reason not to trust that three-pound lump of Silly Putty-like stuff crammed inside my head.

I mean, wow, what happened to this guy would be like my brain doing some rewiring and I wake up one morning just knowing that I’m a woman… until I got up to pee, that is.  I mean, I just can’t see myself waking up and wondering where my boobs went and why I have a dick, ya know?  I really and honestly cannot imagine waking up and, okay, I hurt my head… and I’m no longer attracted to women… but that guy who just came in looks damned appetizing!  Again – and despite me poking a little fun at his predicament – I give him some very major props for being able to (1) adjust to the fact that he had a stroke and (2) the person he wound up being because he had the stroke.

Having a stroke all by itself is a motherfucker to deal with; I had the advantage – or disadvantage – of being very aware of what was happening to me just mere seconds before the stroke literally floored me.  I was conscious and very much aware – I had the guys in the ambulance laughing their asses off as they transported me and, to this very day, I really think it was key to my being able to recover as much as I did.  Like I mentioned, I knew I was going to have to learn how to walk again and use my right hand but other than that – and this fucking pain – I was very lucky not to suffer much more than what I did… as far as I know.

Wow… I’ve had a stroke.  I understand a lot about what goes on with you when you have one (and it doesn’t kill you).  I’m still shaking my head over what’s happened to this guy… and perhaps the human brain is much more amazing than we can ever imagine!