11 Nov

A recent post by Lafemmeroar ( sparked this particular blog,  Hers is about a reader who believed what she was blogging about and it conjured up some memories of similar stuff that’s happened to me.

Okay, y’all know I write erotica (and if you didn’t, now you do); I have a site where a lot of the stuff I’ve written resides (email me if you wanna know where it is) and I will openly admit that I write about some very raunchy shit; if it’s taboo, I’m writing about it.  One of the things I’ve learned about writing is to make what you’ve written believable and while I’ve not quite mastered this as much as I’d like to, well, it became apparent to me – via some really interesting emails – that I must be on the right track.

Most of the time, I’ve received positive reviews and even suggestions on how I could have made the story better – and this is fine.  I’ve gotten emails from people who’ve asked if I was writing about something that really happened; this, too, is good – the believable factor is in effect and working well.

But I’ve also gotten threatening emails like you wouldn’t believe.  At first, I was shocked that someone would actually threaten my life over a figment of my imagination – and some of the threats were interesting, from submitting myself to 100 lashes to being castrated and other forms of punishment that I found rather creative.  Some people were downright offended by my writings; this made me laugh because the fact that they read it speaks volumes about them more than it does about me.  Yeah, sure – I admit that I have a very filthy mind… but if you’re peeking in there, well, you do so at your own risk or caveat lector – let the reader beware.

I never took any of the threats seriously… but it made me aware that I had the ability to write about stuff and in a way that some might take for the real deal and, for a while, I wasn’t sure if I should be bothered by this or take it in the sense of a job well done, so to speak.  It did make me stop and think about the fact that I could write something… and someone would get it into their heads to actually do what I wrote and, yes, it does happen although I can’t say it’s happened to me; if someone’s done what I’ve written, I’ve not heard about it, like, the cops come knocking on my door and wanting to take and examine my computer because something I wrote caused some bad shit to happen.

I thought, for a moment, that maybe I shouldn’t write about the stuff I was writing about… but I said, “Fuck that; it’s not my fault that they believe what I’m writing!”  But, yeah, really, it is my fault and simply because I wrote it and, for some, I did a really good job writing it.  It’s both kinda scary and flattering all at the same time… as well as the reason why writers have disclaimers in place.

One story I wrote generated an email from a guy who questioned me about how I knew about what he was doing with his sister – and you can imagine the look on my face when I read his email!  Even funnier, he wasn’t angry – he actually felt that I portrayed his situation quite well despite some “facts” not being exactly right.  Again, I was stunned as I got email after email from him containing his exploits so that I could continue writing that particular story; it got to the point where I had to instruct my Outlook software to treat his emails as junk and delete them before I even saw them.

In my blogs, yep, I often write some raunchy shit… because it’s fun and, most of all, it represents my honesty when I’m talking about myself; if you’re gonna do it, be for-real about it.  So when I’m ranting and raving about sex and sexuality, I actually don’t get anyone commenting that I need to be drawn and quartered or something equally painful.  That some people might disagree with me about the sex I write about here is fine – and I do appreciate them saying what they object to.  And, of course, all positive comments are always welcomed and if we agree to disagree, that works, too.

It made me realize that while I strive to write believable erotica, there is such a thing as being too believable for some – and there’s nothing I can do about that other than to tell people right up-front what the deal is – this is fiction and figments of my very naughty imagination.

It also reminds me that I have about a hundred stories I need to add to my site… and I’ll eventually get around to getting them there… I think… maybe…


Posted by on 11 November 2011 in Life, Living and Loving


Tags: ,

16 responses to “Believability

  1. mysterycoach

    11 November 2011 at 14:41

    The guy was doing his “blood related” sister? Yah…after reading the whole thing, that’s where my mind got stuck. LOL


    • kdaddy23

      11 November 2011 at 14:48

      Well, yeah – hence the look I had on my face when I got his first email. It’s not like I don’t know people do this – they do; I just never, ever, expected to get an email like the one I did. As a writer, it really did make me stop and think about what I was writing and this incident almost made me stop writing – but I got over it.


      • mysterycoach

        11 November 2011 at 14:55

        Yah, you can’t control how other people are affected and if they don’t like it, they should bypass the whole thing. I had a network for a few years and this one guy Barry was a big fat instigator. LOL He used the socratic method of communication and he drove people “NUTS” … BUT he had a valid point…

        If you don’t like the thread or my comments, don’t read it. I had to laugh when I read that and I completely agreed with that fool. He could get under a person’s skin in like .02 flat.


  2. marriagecoach1

    11 November 2011 at 14:44

    typo alert. It is caveat emptor. Share with me the site, I would like to read your stuff. You might make some money with it if you could write romance novels. Harlequin has a Spice division that writes raunchier sex in the romance genre. They pay VERY WELL because 75% of all their sales take place their own web site and they don’t have to split the profits with distributors or bookstores. Let me know and I could get you in.

    As you know I occasionally get hate mail predominantly from christian types accusing me of not being a christian because of the frank nature of my writing but so far no death threats.


    • kdaddy23

      11 November 2011 at 14:53

      Nope – it is lector for reader; emptor is buyer; I had someone take me to task about this one… but I never professed to learning Latin. Me? Write a romance novel? I actually started writing one some time ago but I got stuck and never finished it; from time to time, I go back to the stuff I’ve started and ran into a wall over to see if I can get unstuck and finish them… with little success, I’m afraid.

      Yeah, I know you get hate mail out the ass – and you have my sympathy. That you do does have some positive things going on – at least people are smelling what you’re cooking; if they don’t read it, they can’t complain to you about it, right?


  3. marriagecoach1

    11 November 2011 at 14:56

    Correctomundo my friend. I just keep trudging on because my positive comments out weigh my negative ones
    about 500-1. The blog will go over 50,000 page views this week.



    • kdaddy23

      11 November 2011 at 15:18

      Yeah, Mystery; I’ve run into people like that who have responded – actually reacted – to something I wrote… and I think they’re hilarious for the most part. To John, well, I realized that just because my writings got negative responses, that’s no reason for me to stop writing in the way I do. The positives do outweigh the negatives… but it’s not really about that; it’s about me and whatever it is I want to write about – and for the sheer satisfaction of writing it. Yeah, I’ve sold a few of those stories – nothing to write home about financially but, hey, being a published author does look good on the writing resume, huh? I know I’m not responsible for what someone might do because of what I’ve written – but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t bother me – I do have a conscious and, despite my writings, my moral compass still works; it’s just that I have a great imagination and the ability to write whatever it conjures up.

      I wrote a story about a bi guy encounter for a swinging site… and someone actually wrote me and confessed that the story, while pure fiction, inspired him to go suck a dick – and he did with a positive outcome for himself. I was like, “Well, damn, um…” What can you say about something like this? Didn’t write it with any intent to “convert” anyone and, well, that it can happen just amazes me.


  4. marriagecoach1

    11 November 2011 at 15:23

    You are not responsible for the outcome. He was already leaning that direction. As I have already told you I have experimented both with sucking dick and getting sucked and buttfucking a guy and gettting butt fucked. Not my cup of tea.


    • kdaddy23

      11 November 2011 at 15:45

      Ya know I’m feeling you on this one; but I’m kinda betting that you didn’t do this, ah, experimenting based on something raunchy you might have read. Okay, granted: We can read porn and, yeah, it can put some ideas in our heads… but for a lot of us, thinking and doing are not the same thing. Might be tantalizing to read about boffing the next door neighbor… doesn’t mean you’re gonna go do it because common sense says that you shouldn’t or points out some obvious reason why you shouldn’t act on whatever you read.

      Since I do write erotica, well, I gotta be aware of the fact that someone could get it in their head to do what I wrote – and knowing this does bother me… kinda. As writers, we can invoke disclaimers to protect ourselves and most people will and do take them to heart… but there are some folks who may not. Not going to accept any responsibility – but I know I have to be aware of this just the same.


      • marriagecoach1

        11 November 2011 at 15:50

        No, I had to experiment so I could speak with authority on the subject. As to doing what I write about, I am hoping that people will experiment with things that I recommend on my blog because I am trying to help them with their sex life and their relationship.



      • kdaddy23

        11 November 2011 at 16:10

        To John, yep, I sure am feeling you on that – and that you speak to it gets you big time props with me. To Mystery, my blog isn’t directed toward erotica in that sense; it really is about me writing about whatever happens to be on my mind – and to scratch that itch to write. I will be blunt, frank, and even crass and uncouth at times when doing this; writing PC stuff, while nice, just isn’t the way I think although I do make an effort to write and not intentionally insult anyone; otherwise, it’s like I said in my little bio: If you’re not grown up enough to deal with adult concepts, stay out of my head.

        Again to Mystery, I’m sure that if you started blogging in the way I do it, boy, you’d probably get some really interesting responses to what’s really going on in your head! Since this is the way I write my blog, I expect someone coming along and saying something one way or the other; kinda silly for me to think that I’m not going to say something and no one’s gonna react to it one way or the other.


  5. mysterycoach

    11 November 2011 at 15:47

    I do find you have a good moral compass, I have to agree with you. Oh yah, what can happen when people write things is pretty amazing that’s for sure. Fortunately, LOL I haven’t had anyone send me anything like this. The only mail I would get would be topics or complaints about other members. It wasn’t like your kind of site though. More personal growth oriented.


  6. WeekBiWeek

    11 November 2011 at 17:09

    “…if you’re peeking in there, well, you do so at your own risk or caveat lector – let the reader beware.”
    I think that a lot of people honestly have nothing better to do than look for things to get upset over. Sure, I run into things that make me uncomfortable or that I find unpleasant… and I close the browser window or navigate away. Last night, I ran into a very disturbing section in a story that came highly recommended to me and just glossed over that section, moving onto a more palatable section. If the story continues on that route, then I’ll just quit reading it entirely. But I don’t have to send the author a hate mail! I would rather go read something that I enjoy than stew over something that upsets me. But some seem to prefer to get upset and spread their own vitriol.


    • kdaddy23

      11 November 2011 at 17:15

      Thanks for the comments, Week! Yeah, see, that’s the whole thing; for some people, I think it’s that car wreck thing: Something horrible has happened and you look at it despite yourself. Like you, if I read something that offends me, I’ll stop reading it at that point – sending the author of whatever it was a nasty note about it is a waste of my time and serves no purpose. Now, people have recommended that I read something and, yeah, I’ll read it… even if it pegs my bullshit meter somewhere along the line so that I can offer up an opinion on it and if it offended my sensibilities, yeah, I’ll simply say that it did and maybe even why – but not to the point where I’d contact the author and raise all holy hell with them about what they wrote.


  7. Cinnamon

    11 November 2011 at 20:28

    I’m soooo jealous. I haven’t gotten a threathening email in about a month..LOL I knew you had a dirty mind, but I had NO idea it was filthy. Guess I haven’t read from the place you are writing from yet.

    I would think that one of those copyright things, and a disclaimer at the bottom of your blog should take care of the legal crap… although if I show up at the door in my sexy cop outfit and threathen to take advantage of you with my night stick, I HOPE you try to resist arrest ! LOL


    • kdaddy23

      11 November 2011 at 20:49

      Well, if it’s you, I’m resisting big time, officer! No threats in a month? What, you slacking or something these days? Girl, some of the stuff that runs around in my head that I could write about even embarrasses me – what does that tell ya?



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