Still Existing

03 Feb

I thought I’d take a moment and touch base with everyone and let you know that despite my hospital scare, bisexuals still exist!

I’ve recently read a few blogs that have touched on what I still think of as the real meaning of being bisexual – it’s emotional just as much as it is physical.  I experienced something the other day that had my eyebrows climbing up my forehead!  I was on the phone with the smoking cessation people and during the sign-up information part, the woman I was talking to went from being sure and confident in the way she was asking me questions to practically stuttering when she, for some reason, asked about my sexuality.

“Um, ah, well, this next question is kind of sensitive – you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” she says.

I blink (not that she can see that) and, right away, if they’re asking a sensitive question, I wanna know what it is; I’ve already assumed that it’s a demographical question, which means it’s not really related to me quitting – so I say, “Ask it.”

“Regarding your sexuality, do you consider yourself homosexual?” she asks.

“No…” I reply, trying not to laugh at the woman’s nervousness.

“Do you consider yourself straight?”

“No…” – I’m really trying not to laugh now, trying to envision the look on her face because there’s only one answer left.

“Are you bisexual?”

“Yep, sure am,” I say in a very happy tone of voice and, yes, I did notice the form of the question.

“Really?  Oh!  The next questions is about ethnicity…”

Have you ever laughed without actually laughing?  This woman made my day!  I must add that you had to have heard her tone of voice to really understand just how funny this was.

As we’re doing the Q&A thing, I’m wondering when state agencies started asking about one’s sexuality and what the relevance is other than collecting information.  That they even asked – and for whatever reason they did – kinda says that, yeah, they – meaning government – know we exist and this one functionary sounded surprised to hear someone admit to it and it could be that she’s more used to people refusing to answer the questions about this.

A blog about whether sexuality is a choice or not popped into my head, making me smile wryly to myself.  It’s an old argument and a source of great speculation since, to my knowledge, science has been waffling on whether or not this is truly genetic predisposition.  My position has been that humans were born to go either way but societal norms push us into a singular direction and, yup, some of us wind up side-stepping that hand in our sexual backs to stay on the straight and narrow – and the pun is intended.

Whether it’s really a choice – something that pisses the LGBT radicals off to no end – is equally debatable.  Most say it isn’t – just born that way so no choice is required.  I say it is and simply because you have to decide on whether or not you’re going to act on your feelings and decisions, good or bad, are choices so for me, there’s no debating it unless, of course, you wanna get all metaphysical about it and even so, ya made a choice not to go along with the sexual norm as defined by our society – so there.

That whole thing brings up an interesting question:  Are you still bisexual or gay if you never do anything about the way you feel?  That’s a bit of a tough one and I can’t speak to how a gay person might respond to this but I do know that bisexuals do have that emotional affinity for a MOTSS (member of the same sex).  That force is strong with them even if they never physically interact with anyone in that fashion.

I’ve had some intense conversations with members of the swinging lifestyle about this as well, like the guy who loved to suck dick and get fucked in the ass – but vehemently denied that he was bisexual, making me and a lot of other people start looking for ducks who are quacking.  To that end, a lot of bisexuals are really in a form of denial, which is something I find totally hilarious to hear them qualifying stuff, like the guy I just mentioned.  His thing was because he didn’t like having his dick sucked by a guy and only fucked consenting women in the ass, nope, he wasn’t bisexual and more so since he considered himself a submissive or, classically, “I am only following orders!”

Yeah, right… sure you are…

The dynamic has changed, though; you see less people willing to admit to having that affinity and more people willing to admit that they like the sex but – wait for it – just because they like the sex, it doesn’t make them bisexual.  They create new words and phrases, like bi-friendly, socially bi, and my least favorite, hetero-flexible.  You should hear them discuss this and I know that while I understand why they’re saying stuff like this, I just so do get a kick at watching them fall over themselves to deny what’s really going on with them.

I spent, oh, about twenty minutes thinking about this after my phone conversation and I laughed to myself (mostly) the whole time because, duh, even before that “landmark” announcement some time ago, I knew that bisexuals existed… because I exist.

Finally, I was watching parts of that “hall pass” movie and saw the part where the guys were somewhere drinking and one dude asks the group a question about having oral sex with a guy and how long they’d allow it to happen – or something like that.  It got my attention only because it was asked in the same mode one might ask if blondes are preferred over redheads.  I laughed more at the group’s reaction – they wanted specifics, like something about ten minutes being too long or not long enough.

I don’t recall it exactly – but what I thought was, “Oh, they had the nerve to put that in the movie?  Wow…”  Seeing gays in the movies is old news – I found this part interesting.  Later, Owen Wilson’s character finds himself drowning in a whirlpool/hot tub and gets rescued by a big Black guy with a really big dick – and they showed it, too!  I said, “Wow, that’s a nice dick!”

Owen’s character’s head is resting on one massive thigh, the very nice dick just dangling invitingly; he cuts his eyes over at it – then asks his friend to change places with the Black dude – and the camera flashes over to his friend’s crotch to show a really tiny dick.  I thought it was both funny and telling – and it is when you think back to the conversation at the table.

And, by the way, guys really do get buzzed out of their gourds and talk about this at times; I stopped being surprised by some of the things I’ve heard a long time ago.

We exist.  I exist.  I’ll keep ya posted on our continued existence!

1 Comment

Posted by on 3 February 2012 in Life, Living and Loving


Tags: , ,

One response to “Still Existing

  1. jenny

    13 February 2012 at 10:42

    We exist, indeed, void of any external push to ‘choose sides’. I exist.



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