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Kinda Makes Sense

09 May

I happened to see this – http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/05/09/11623231-california-weighs-bill-to-ban-gay-teen-conversion-therapy?lite – and it kinda/sorta make sense since I think it was proven a while ago that homosexuality isn’t a mental illness any more than masturbation is.

If you think your kid having to face bullies because of their sexuality can be traumatic, well, sending them to therapy to be cured-straight could be just as dangerous for them.  If nothing else, it sends a mixed message:  You can be what you wanna be as long as you’re straight like the rest of us and we’ll make you straight – it’s for your own good…

See, I would have thought that we’d grown beyond that kind of stone-aged thinking – this ain’t the 1800’s – but, apparently, that’s not the case if California – and you know it just had to be them – feels they need to enact a law against doing this.  And maybe if the law does pass, it’ll cut down on the number of teen suicides that happen and bullying isn’t at fault; then again, couldn’t being “forced” to go to therapy to be straight be seen as a different kind of bullying?

 
9 Comments

Posted by on 9 May 2012 in Life, Living and Loving

 

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9 responses to “Kinda Makes Sense

  1. MysteryCoach

    11 May 2012 at 06:26

    All this stuff is “taught”… so, figure if everyone “now” changed their perspectives, it would still take about 200 years for others to stop doing this mess. I’m not all that comfortable with some things myself … I think mainly because I’m not into it or whatever but if that’s who the other person is… I mean, that’s who they are.

    Yah, therapy to become straight. Idiots.

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    • kdaddy23

      11 May 2012 at 14:40

      Thanks for chiming in, Mystery! Your discomfort with some things is to be expected; we’re taught (as you said) to be uncomfortable about not being straight… and a lot of people who shy away from being totally homophobic adopt a tolerant attitude about it – I ain’t into (whatever) but if someone else is, fine. I think gay kids get caught between a rock and a hard place because as they grow, they do develop their own personalities, opinions, stuff like that and, often, it clashes with what their parents are teaching them – like being straight.

      I don’t think – and there are probably some statistics somewhere about this – that trying to reprogram a child into being straight via therapy is all that successful because, well, the best way to get around a therapist is to tell them what they want to hear. Still, it’s bad enough that the child is conflicted over the whole matter – what they’re thinking and feeling versus what Mom and Dad are telling them… and then you toss in a therapist and the kid doesn’t have much of a choice in the matter; either go to the sessions or face parental wrath.

      Sure… no pressure here. It’s no wonder a lot of these kids wind up committing suicide behind this…

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      • MysteryCoach

        11 May 2012 at 18:58

        When my daughter was growing up I watched her and who she gravitated towards, it was the boys. I wanted to be prepared if she was gay. It’s true and you can’t say you can’t tell… I mean, I would “assume” you can have an idea. They say people know so I thought… well, that’s my daughter, if this is her orientation, I’m going to need to be prepared on all levels. What I would think about, what she would go through … yup. I did, I paid attention.

        Well I mean what sucks is you have parental approval, the idea they’ll lose love etc., from their parents (I’m sure the list is endless) and they have to hide who they truly are, I mean, my goodness people who are straight (no offense to anyone else intended) have enough difficulty as it is… I hope I said this in a good way.

        Awful… My daughter tells me about bi sexual kids and the gay kids in school, they all seem cool with it. Well, she is… that’s how I raised her that people are people. Seemed like YA KNOW! A good idea! 🙂

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      • kdaddy23

        11 May 2012 at 19:29

        You should try going through this with five kids – it gets beyond interesting. For me, this wasn’t one of those things where I had to bring it to their attention – they all came to me with questions about it and a choice had to be made: Be truthful about it or lie to them, cover it up, insist they not even think about it, stuff like that. I chose to talk to them about it truthfully and let them decide whether or not being straight was good for them or not – with some looking-over-their-shoulders stuff going on because you just don’t leave teenagers to their own devices.

        I realized that even though I’ve never been straight, I could have hit them with the “be straight or else” stuff… but I also had to think about how that might negatively affect them because, well, I’m really feeding them a pre-determine line of bullshit which, at the least, erodes their trust and belief in what I’m saying to them. The ones who decided that being straight or gay wasn’t for them, well, again, I could have enforced being straight and, yeah, use the available resources to change their minds… but how does that affect them going forward?

        It was “easier” to let them decide and watch over them than to fuck with their heads like that; it’s easier to reveal the truth (as I understand it) than to lie to them or otherwise insert any prejudices I may have or feel as well as making it clear to them that, yeah, if you want and/or need to, you can always change your mind. I know that because of the choices they made, they didn’t have to go through any bullying in school (that they told me about anyway) so they didn’t have to deal with the emotional trauma being picked on can cause – and if they didn’t have to deal with it, then we, as parents, didn’t have to deal with it – and that worked big time.

        Would I have sent my kids to therapy behind this? No way in hell and more so if they were sure (and we agreed) that this is what felt right for them; again, you don’t leave teens to their own devices in anything that might screw them up later in life. And, yeah, when they were in school, being bi or gay was just fine and dandy; they didn’t have the angst that us older folks have about it, making me wonder who’s the “smartest” in this; the kids to whom it makes no difference or the parents who think the world’s coming to an end because they are bi or gay?

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  2. MysteryCoach

    11 May 2012 at 19:47

    No see here’s the difference in the kids and adults. Adults have preconceptions and have things pounded into their heads for a very long time, it’s imbedded in their brains and they can absolutely (IMHO) chose to not think that way and some do, other’s yah… they don’t fair so well with it. Look at guys who beat gay guys up for no reason other than what they’ve been fed. That’s ridiculous, unnecessary … absolutely unnecessary. Yet, they do it… someone breeds hate, they slap that shit around and it spreads. That’s not cool and that’s what goes on inside these kids homes … it’s handed down.

    It’s good to be honest with the kids, it’s not like … in the end, they won’t make their own choice one day anyway, hopefully in an environment that’s supportive of them.

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    • kdaddy23

      11 May 2012 at 20:03

      Yeah, I know what you’re saying – really interesting how an adult – and especially a parent – often feeds their kids the same preconceptions they grew up with and how rigid they can be in their thinking, like, just because such a thing doesn’t work for you, that means it work work for any kids you have. And, you’re right; kids brutalize gay kids (or anyone who’s different than them) simply because they’ve been taught to “hate” people who are not like them; it’s a very vicious – and often deadly – example of the strong preying upon the weak.

      I know my parents fed me the “be straight or else” stuff and, duh, that’s not the direction I went in. If they were aware of it – back then – they probably decided not to do anything about it unless something went wrong – I really can’t say but what I do know is that if I had been caught not being straight, I would have gotten my ass beaten into being straight along with some verbal lashings that would still have my ears ringing today.

      1950’s style therapy, ya know…

      And you’re right: You can preach being straight to a kid, put them in therapy, stuff like that… and that’s not going to change anything; they are either gonna keep going the way they’re going or, for the sake of pretense, put it all on hold and once Mom and Dad can’t do anything about it, go right back to not being straight.

      But, see, in all of this, trying to treat this like a disease is a very dumb – and potentially dangerous – way of dealing with the issue.

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      • MysteryCoach

        11 May 2012 at 20:11

        To me it’s more like the ignorant preying on those who are different. The only reason kids may do it is because they’ve been taught this behavior from their peers. Period.

        Wait, 1950’s was the only era that happened? 🙂 Sheeeit that mess still goes on today, not by me but parents and my daughter tells me about it now about some of the kids in her class and what the parents do to their kids. That is also taught, by the way…

        It’s no even an issue in my humble opinion, it’s who the individual “IS” … it’s who they are I mean … if you think about it, it’s like someone telling me not to laugh my ass off at the most inopportune moments, it’s not going to happen. 🙂

        So… then you have a person who is attracted to both sexes or same sex and … oh, change because I’m uncomfortable. Yes, I feel a bit funny, for lack of a better word at the moment HOWEVER… it doesn’t mean that I”m going to bash people who have different preferences than my own. Okay, well there’s some degrading shit I’ve seen and read about which freaks me the fuck out, but we’re not talking about that 🙂

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      • kdaddy23

        11 May 2012 at 20:28

        Nope, we ain’t talking about the really freaky shit. And, Mom, if it makes you uncomfortable, I’m sorry… but this ain’t about you – it’s about what I feel about this. What? Huh? What about what other people have to say about it? Are you worried about my reputation… or your own? MY friends are fine with me being bi (or gay) – so what’s the real problem here?

        Say what? There must be something wrong with me? Therapy? Really? Why… just because I don’t want to be straight? I’m not the one with the problem, Mom; seems like you’re the one with issues about it… and what do you mean I’m not old enough to make that decision for myself? What that got to do with it? Oh, so you’re telling me that I can’t make that decision until I’m 18? That’s insane… and maybe you need to go to therapy more than I do!

        Slams the door really hard going to my room…

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      • MysteryCoach

        11 May 2012 at 20:51

        It’s usually about the parents reputation or how people will view “them”… let’s face it, we’re all about “Us” the individual. I mean I try hard to be an overall good person… and while I understand it benefits everyone around me in that nice good healthy way, that’s about me. Because I want people to play nice, in my life and everyone else’s. (barring really mean stupid shit, then it’s like… you know how I feel about that stuff)

        Yah… I understand. From you know 🙂 My limited perspective. It’s all I can do because I have not ever had to, I’ve never been in this position so I can see what you’re saying and it’s hurtful to people… I know … I don’t like it. I never liked anything mean spirited regardless of whether or not it was for me or not. It’s like… hey, leave that person alone. I”m talking about many other things… but this one of course.

        Yah… I mean, you give birth to a child and you love the little pain in the behind 🙂 … so why make it that much harder and I “know” that even as I say this and even though I paid attention to my daughter as I mentioned previously, I would have stood up for whatever her orientation was. I just can’t imagine …

        Course… we do have that cheerleading thing I don’t get but … 🙂 ROFL! 🙂

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