You know, you folks should be taken out and summarily beaten for all the fraud, deception, and entrapment you foist upon consumers. You want us to use your supposedly fast data systems, systems that you will throttle back if you think we’re using more than we deserve to be using, and on devices that while state of the art, cannot come close to the amount of data storage my oldest laptop has.
And, oh, yeah, while your commercials tout your so-called blazing speed and coverage, let us not forget that your shit ain’t everywhere it can be and even where your shit is, sometimes, I can’t make a phone call with my high-end phone without the call dropping just because the wind ain’t blowing the right way. In fact, using my phone to make a phone call reminds me of having to adjust old-fashioned rabbit-ear antennae…
So, this is me telling you that your data transmission rates don’t mean shit; it doesn’t matter what apps you have for my phone or anything else I might be able to do with it if I cannot, say, call 911 when I need to without the call dropping or me looking at my phone to see, oh, no, I don’t have any bars!
But while you’re content to sell me a limited device to use over your crappy cellular network, you’re equally happy to not only lock me into a two-year contract but if I’m not happy with your incompetent asses and want to leave, you’re gonna charge me a ton of money… and for what? I gotta pay to be on your shitty service… and I gotta pay if I’m totally fucking dissatisfied and frustrated with your bullshit?
You and your cohorts do know that you can kiss my sweaty ass, right?
Phone providers, don’t think you’re off the hook because I want to talk to you about all that bullshit you put on my phone that I don’t use, can’t use, and don’t even fucking care about – and the fact that unless I’m willing to void my warranty on my rather expensive device and jailbreak it, I can’t get rid of it. See, you don’t think that I know that as long as that crap is there, it cuts down on what I can have on my phone and what my phone can do when it’s failing to make a phone call.
You really and seriously need to stop with the fucking commercials about how good your phones are or how good a phone will work on your fucked-up network; I’m surprised my phone decides to work on WiFi – but since that’s not good enough for you because WiFi is free, you had to come up with MiFi, which is just WiFi that you’re gonna make me pay for because you really think that it’s a bad thing that WiFi ain’t everywhere yet.
Well, like I said, neither are you… so what the fuck? Did I mention you could kiss my sweaty ass? I did? Good… because now you can kiss my equally sweaty balls while you’re down there. It galls me to know that there are millions of us either trapped into or buying into services that are inconsistent and using devices that don’t always own up to their supposed abilities. And then you’re wondering why you’re not getting as many contracts as you were before?
Fuck all of you up the ass with a long-handled broom, no grease, and rusty razor blades…