RSS

Top Searches Time Again!

06 Sep

It’s actually been a while since “Top Searches” provided me with something to write about.  So, after ignoring it when I first saw it, here’s the search that got my attention:  “what does it mean if a straight man has anal sex with another man?”

First thought:  “Um, you mean you don’t have an idea what this might mean?”

Second thought:  “Of course, it might mean he’s a latent bisexual or even homosexual.”

Third thought:  “It might not mean anything.  Dude could have been horny and a guy’s ass was the only thing immediately available and, well, I won’t tell if you won’t.”

Of course, there was a time that if this happened, it would be said that the straight dude was really gay all along and is now revealing his true colors.  Nowadays, straight men are finding out that they can, in fact, poke another dude in the butt… and all it means is that they poked another guy in the butt.  It doesn’t impact their sexuality; it doesn’t impact their sense of being a man; it’s just an interesting and different way of busting a nut, nothing more, nothing less.

It makes me ask a somewhat simple question:  Is it supposed to mean anything?

I’ve always found it interesting that a guy will be hyped to fuck a woman in the ass… but ask him if he’d fuck a guy in the ass and see what happens.  Same guy wouldn’t hesitate to stick fingers, hands, other objects, into a woman’s butt… but let someone suggest he give that a try himself and see what happens.

Perhaps the question shouldn’t be about what such a thing means; maybe the correct question would be, “Why would a straight man have anal sex with another man?”

There’s only one real answer to the above question:  Because he wants to.  Today, there are a lot of ‘straight’ guys having all kinds of sex with other men and they will all maintain that they are not gay or bisexual; as far as they’re concerned, even if they just got finished having a 69 with another dude, they are forever straight.  The other definitions do not apply to them; what they’re doing and what they think about what they’re doing are two entirely different things… and how they perceive themselves trumps their actions.

Is it a form of denial?  A fear of being labeled?  I’ve even read that the latest twist in the sexual dynamic is that a straight guy can have any kind of sex with another guy… and all it is, all it means, is it’s just sex.  I remember reading this and I thought, “Well, fucking duh!  Of course it’s just sex…”  But, as I continued to read, I got the impression that this quirk in the dynamic was being ‘constructed’ to remove any of the traditional stigma against such things between men so, no, giving your bro the high hard one in the back door doesn’t mean you’re bisexual or even gay – it’s just two guys having sex.

Now, while my personal thought is that this is really a bunch of bullshit, I do know guys who will have sex with other guys and swear on a stack of bibles that they are and always have been straight.  And if you’re reading what I just wrote and either scratching your head or rolling your eyes, well, welcome to the club.  Here’s the rub, as explained to me by some fellas I know are into this:  Because it’s not their primary means of having sex and because they don’t ‘like guys like that’, that somehow translates into their being very straight… despite what they’ve confessed to doing.

Confused?  In a social environment where we’re fond of saying actions speak louder than words, um, well, er, ah, that’s not entirely true, is it?  I have heard ‘straight’ guys talk about having their cock sucked by another man… but because they didn’t give the dude any head, they’re still straight.  And, yep, some have happily creamed another guy’s ass or have even jerked another man off… but because they don’t think their actions are gay or bisexual in nature, they are straight and always will be.  I have even heard guys say that if they’re eating a woman’s pussy – but a guy is going down on them at the same time, well, yeah, the guy eating the pussy still considers himself to be straight… and simply because he’s eating pussy while he’s getting his dome polished.

Amazing, isn’t it?  In this, it’s more what you think of yourself than what it is you’re really doing.  I realized, a few moments ago, that I have said as much to straight guys who wanted to have their first experience, with me or with some other guy.  The labels are what they are and simply because without them, we wouldn’t be able to define our environment and maybe, finally and truly, it doesn’t mean anything other than what it is:  Two people having sex of some kind.

And maybe, just maybe, it shouldn’t mean anything other than that.  If a straight dude wants to have sex – get some head or even fuck – and he’s run out of, ah, female options, it’s probably not a gigantic leap of logic to figure out that, hmm, this guy wants to suck my dick or wants me to fuck him and, well, either way, I get my rocks off and, hmm, if no one knows I’ve done this, where’s the harm in it?

So if a straight dude has anal sex with another man and, let’s say for the sake of this discussion, he only does it once, does it mean anything other than taking advantage of a presented opportunity?  I wouldn’t say he’s gay or bi… unless he keeps doing it.  In this, I’m quite old-school in that if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s a duck.  But the current line of thinking suggests that even in this, ah, it might not be a duck… and if a dude says it’s not a duck, well, then, it sure as hell ain’t a duck as far as he’s concerned.

In this, image and perception is everything.  As I mentioned, I’ve had straight guys talk to me about this and, invariably, their first question is either, “Does this mean I might be gay?” or “Does this mean there’s something wrong with me?”  In this, I have asked, “Do you feel that you might be gay?” or “Do you feel there’s something wrong with you?”  Because, the way I learned to understand it, how you feel about this does make a difference.  Some straight guys are understandably curious; they just wanna find out what it’s like to do this.  Some guys are just horny and out of options and, in their minds, this is the next logical step.

They will ask, “If I do this, will it change me?”  My response usually is, “Well, yeah, it will… but it’s up to you to decide how this change affects you… and that depends on whether you only do this once or you decide to do it whenever the opportunity presents itself.  Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide… but you should know that what others perceive in you about this does carry some weight.”

I have, after giving the straight guy a blowjob, asked him, “Do you feel any different?”  They’ve all replied, “Um,  no, not really…”

So maybe it really means nothing at the end of the day… except what one thinks it means to them.

 
6 Comments

Posted by on 6 September 2012 in Life, Living and Loving

 

Tags: , ,

6 responses to “Top Searches Time Again!

  1. marriagecoach1

    6 September 2012 at 19:08

    Hey Rob
    According to Kinsey stats about 90% of all men have had some homosexual experience but that did not make them gay or even bi

    Like

     
    • kdaddy23

      6 September 2012 at 19:29

      Yep. And given that this is a well-documented fact, should this mean anything?

      Like

       
  2. John Wilder

    7 September 2012 at 05:02

    I think that men are more driven than women and are willing to experiment where women are much more inhibited. I think that for a lot of guys like me, I came, I saw, I tried it and decided that it was not for me

    Like

     
    • kdaddy23

      7 September 2012 at 19:28

      Men are more driven to have sex… But I wouldn’t go as far to say that women are too inhibited to experiment; do you believe they always sleep at slumber parties?

      I don’t.

      Like

       
  3. John Wilder

    7 September 2012 at 19:37

    Yea actually I do. women are way more inhibited

    Like

     
    • kdaddy23

      8 September 2012 at 17:22

      We obviously know different women…

      Like

       

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
Jenny's Swinger Party and Dating Advice 🎉

23 year old real estate agent & swinger 💋

Katya Evangeline

From Missionary to Sex Preacher and Loving It!

Domestic Discipline, Jenny style!

Unconventional journey to unimaginable fulfillment.

"Me."

All the things that make me, well "me."

CinnamonAndSparkles

If I had a power color, it would be sparkle. Landon Brinkley

Hopeful Heartache

Ramblings about life, relationships, anxiety, depression, and questions.

SeXXy Julie

Sexual Adventures & Erotica of a Cougar

Tarnished Soul

Searching for Peace in a Tumultuous World

Temperature's Rising

It's getting hot in here...

A Question of Lust

"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

Madeline Harper

ReImagined

Bellaelena

Random thoughts from a random mind

Equal Anarchy

Equality, Gender, Feminism, Sexuality

Sensual Desires

Sensual Poetry

thewritingofpassage

Writing about recovery.

The Watering Hole

Where everyone comes to quench their thirst for insight to life's challenging questions.

B0Y . LU5T

Coming to terms with being male, atheist, married, over 40, bisexual, kinky and blurring the lines of monogamy while living in a conservative "red state" .

afortnightaway

Parts Of My Life

Date A Bisexual

DateBisexual.net

ophisophia

The Wise Serpent

myarousal

Fetishes, Gender Issues, Sexual Politics, Erotic Memoirs

a worried whimsy

bouncing between happy and anxious

ann st vincent

My journey through marriage, open marriage, divorce, being a Mom, sexual rebirth, online dating, failed relationships, and lots of sex

The Conquest Files

"The truth is rarely pure and never simple." - Oscar Wilde

More Is Merrier

Views on consensual non-monogamy

Brighton Bipolar

Adult Survivor of Child Abuse and Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder - Working towards ending the stigma of Mental Illness

The Self-Actualized Life

Have a fulfilling life, sexually and in every other way!

Assentively Yours

Ramblings of a depressed mind and other nuances.

Larry Archer's World (LarryArcher.com)

Erotica from the dirty mind of Larry Archer

theopenwife

is there a path to a successful open marriage?

thesinofindia

The silent inside of an anonymous Indian rebelling against society

The (Bi)te

The uninteresting world of a young bisexual girl

The Bi-Love-Ed RESEARCHER

What Perspective Matters Most Depends on Your Perception

Kittykat-bitsandbobs

Just my random thoughts and meanderings... I'll try to keep you entertained

Roller Coaster Life of a Fat Girl

Highs and Lows of My Weight Loss Journey

smallpenisbigissues

when and why size matters

rouge

I write when the choice is to die if I don't

My SEXuality

Why am I afraid to tell you who I'am?

Confessions of a Cheating Housewife

...because love just isn't enough ;)

%d bloggers like this: