My friends, I spend time reading the various blogs here and they are such a wealth of information! It’s amazing, the amount of stuff that flows from the minds of bloggers to their fingers and I feel so privileged to be privy to the inner workings of their minds.
So, at one point in our lives, we all have probably asked ourselves, “What are we doing here? Just what the fuck is all of this about?” Sometimes, it’s like we’re either like rats in a maze, scurrying around and trying to find our way to the prize while at other times, we’re like those same rats hauling ass on our self-made wheels, going balls to the walls and getting absolutely nowhere.
While I’m watching “Mission to Mars” – great movie, by the way – and waiting for football to come on, I was thinking about life, living, and loving, all the things we have done, are doing, and will do in some future. From things sexual to the constant search for the ‘perfect’ companion to form a relationship, I found myself shaking my head over the way a lot of us spend our lives just chasing dreams, illusions, and so many other things in our constant pursuit of happiness.
We realize, at some point, that our lives must have meaning; otherwise, we’re just existing and not really living. In this, we see the power of the human imagination as well as the incredibly small box that our biology and ideology has built around us that contains the maze we spend our lives trying to navigate successfully, whatever that might mean.
I read blogs from people who have their questions and views on relationships; they speak to the inherent problems of being one with someone else as well as the joys that can be had. A lot of us empty our minds onto the screen about sex, sexuality, and the things that delight us about this, the things that scare and trouble us, as well as those things that can bring us such orgasmic delight.
I read about our successes in these things, as well as our many failures that leave us asking why things have to be the way they are, why do all the bad things about this tend to follow and plague us, denying us the happiness we know is obtainable and, of course, so very much desired.
I found myself doing something I rarely do, namely, saying to myself, “If I knew then what I know now…” and, hell, isn’t that something we all do at some point? Today, fourteen days from my birthday, I think I get it; I know why we tackle the maze and run madly on the wheel. I better understand sex, sexuality, and relationships today than I ever did in the past… so when I read of the trials and tribulations others have shared, I ask myself, “What the fuck are we doing to ourselves in this? Why do we make things harder than they have to be?”
We all want the same things out of life and key to these wants is our desire to not only have good sex but to also have a great relationship with someone so that we can share each other’s lives and, hopefully, just bask in all the happiness that can be had. And some of us do just that and even make the quest to have these things look easy.
And a lot of us don’t and that, my dear friends, just never fails to amaze me. I realized, in a moment of clarity, that we really don’t know what the fuck we’re doing in any of this. Perhaps we’re hard-wired to learn things via trial and error and, um, that’s really kinda fucked up since we spend more time getting it wrong than we do getting it right. Along the way, we have developed so many ways to achieve the goals that, ultimately, we all want and those things are often so convoluted that it doesn’t surprise me any longer that we spend more time failing that we do succeeding.
And, sometimes, by the time we finally get it right, we have very little time remaining to enjoy it all.
I gave some thought to our pursuit of sexual pleasure and, man, ain’t we all over the place with this one! It’s really not as straightforward as we’ve been led to believe and despite the once-solid box that our morality has built around us, well, there are holes in the walls of this box and the wall are beginning to crumble because while our morality is all well and good, we are nothing if not creative in finding so many other ways to have an orgasm.
Yet, we don’t always get that right, either, because we’ve been conditioned to respond and react to certain things instead of paying attention to all that may be possible. As we gain experience in these things, we become jaded, selective, and even prejudiced to a great degree. We hurt each other in this, become disillusioned and disappointed because we just can’t figure out why we can’t always have the sexual satisfaction we crave, that whole perpetuation of the species thing notwithstanding.
We fuss and fight about sexuality; we battle each other over the merits of monogamy versus the, ah, illicit joys and pleasures that can be had if the rules of monogamy are ignored. I don’t know about any of you reading this, but when I sit back and think about all of this, the way we behave is insane because we really do keep doing the same things over and over and expect different results.
In this, we often let our fears make us foolish; fuck, we will even let other instill needless fears into us as they seek to impose their wills upon us so when you – or if you – can step back and look at it all as objectively as you can, well, it’s a dumb way to behave. We have, for reasons I have yet to fathom, turned our backs on the sex we can have in favor of the sex we want to have. I like to call it designer sex; it’s ‘my’ idea of how getting my cookies crumbled should go which, of course, clashes again the idea of others in this regard.
It amazes me how much we’ve learned about sex and sexuality, just as it amazes me of just how totally ignorant we are of what we’re doing in any of this. We’ve never been on the same page about this, from the schism that exists between men and women right down to the gulf that exists within genders. It makes me ask the question that if our goal in this is orgasmic satisfaction, why are we so unwilling to do whatever’s necessary to achieve that goal?
We eventually figure out how to fuck… and without really understanding what sex is all about.
I was thinking about all those books Mystery likes to read and while I wouldn’t say it’s a bad thing, it does make me wonder about a lot of things because there are so many books out there on how to improve ourselves, how to have better sex within the box (preferably), and how to have better relationships… but there are also many books out there that continue to pit man against woman, exposing our faults and shortcomings… like that really helps matters at the end of the day.
That we have faults and shortcomings is a given – we are human and, thus, imperfect after all. But when we use these things as sticks to beat each other with, shit, what are we doing here? Why must all this conflict exist and getting between us and the joys we all give our lives to achieve?
It doesn’t make sense, does it? It’s not as if we don’t know what we want in these particular things and it’s clear that despite all that has happened and the things we’ve learned over the ages, we just can’t get it right. We remain at odds with each other in this and fail more than we succeed.
And the question that will be asked until the end of time is, “Why?” It would be nice if there was one ‘perfect’ way for us to do all that we want and need to do… but as long as there’s one person out there who thinks their way is the best way to do any of this, we will keep searching for the prize in the maze and will continue to run quickly on the wheel to nowhere.
Time for football.