I’ve been sitting here with tons of stuff on my mind… but nothing worth writing about. So, I open WordPress, clean out the spam, and thought about the last blog – a Top Searches tease about intercrural sex – and how guys might go through a phase of experimentation.
I fixed the word ‘intercrural’ into my mind and started scanning through my earliest memories, not necessarily looking for instances of intercrural sex but looking at experimentation as a whole – straight dudes might want to look away at this point.
I’ve written before that we used to play ‘Cowboys and Indians’, ‘Army’, and even ‘Hide and Seek’… but we often played with a purpose; getting captured and being a prisoner for the first two games involved a form of ‘torture’ that would make some guys deliberately get caught. For ‘Hide and Seek’, well, if you were hiding with someone else, um, you might not want to be found.
So for us, these games that kids (at least in our generation) played were often just a front, an excuse to have sex with each other… like playing ‘Doctor’ and repeatedly having to have your temperature taken. Don’t get me wrong – we played these games with girls around, too, and most of them didn’t seem to mind being captured, examined by the ‘doctor’, or not being found for quite some time… but that’s another branch of the experimentation tree.
As I sipped my last dregs of coffee (and peeked at my noisy iPod), I thought about the times when I was the prisoner and the times I was the one bringing prisoners back to base. I didn’t – or maybe even couldn’t – see what happened as experimental behavior; if anything, the things I participated in were a delightful addition to a game most of us found to be fun without the, ah, extra activities.
Ah, to look in a male prisoner’s eyes and tell him that since he wasn’t going to tell us what we wanted to know, he would have to be tortured… and then watch his eyes light up. When examining these moments later in life, I don’t know who was more excited about this, the guys doing the ‘torturing’ or the guys being ‘tortured’ – I tend to think of it as a toss-up or six of one, half-dozen of the other.
In those moments, there was lots of oral sex happening as well as intercrural and even anal intercourse – sometimes, as a prisoner, you had your choice of tortures and you could even pick your torturer, usually depending on whether or not he was shooting the awe-inspiring ‘baby-making stuff’. In thinking about those moment – and that particular quality – it seems to me that most of the guys who participated in this wholesale experimentation found that while it was nice to do this and get that good feeling, it was even better if some sperm was in the equation.
So if you were a ‘torturer’ but you weren’t ejaculating yet, ah, you might not get a chance to do any torturing. Likewise, if the game was ‘Doctor’ and the ‘doctor’s’ ‘thermometer’ wasn’t loaded for bear, well, it could be rather boring or, at the least, not as interesting as it could be.
I thought about this and saw a pattern of behavior of sorts in that if you played any of the games we used to play – and knowing damned well what could happen during game play – there weren’t too many of us guys who shied away from having sex with each other and, yes, there were some who either wouldn’t play or, over time, dropped out of this part of playing. But for us ‘hardcore’ folks, we played the games with the sure and certain knowledge that somewhere along the line, everyone involved would wind up being a sticky mess.
I can’t speak for any of the other guys involved back then but I had no qualms about being ‘tortured’ or having my temperature taken both orally and anally; it didn’t matter if I got humped intercrurally or someone’s dick was in my butt; if they weren’t shooting, okay, that was fine but if they were, well, talk about icing the cake!
I remember the very first time I looked at my behavior as a kid doing this… and I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t look at myself in a mirror for a couple of days, which also indicated to me something important: If I had no shame in my game back then, does it make sense to have it now? At that point in my life, I could easily see that a lot of what we did together was experimentation on a rather grand scale… but I also realized that the only reason why I participated as much and as often as I did was, gulp, because I loved every minute spent doing it.
I came to understand that, in and of itself – and despite many warnings to never, ever, do this stuff – that such experiments were almost like a rite of passage, not to say everyone experimented. Said periods had varying periods of longevity; some of us did this for a month or so, some of us kept right at it. Those who dropped out of the extra stuff never revisited the sex being had; some of us moved on to, um, higher levels of participation like forget about playing ‘Army’ – let’s fuck.
Still, it was quite rare to find a guy in our age group who didn’t want to participate – there were some, of course; whether we were playing a game or were just bored out of our young minds, when the clothes started coming off, the non-participants would either leave in a hurry… or sit around spectating. There were some guys who were uncomfortable doing it in a group setting; get them by themselves and, well, that was often very different. And, yes; spending the night at someone’s house would often result in some, er, interesting activities in the wee hours when everyone else was sleeping.
As I’ve said in past writings, you just never knew what could happen when you got a bunch of boys together and they were bored silly. Even then, I knew I could feel the sexual tension in the air as we all kinda stood or sat around just waiting for someone to get the sexual ball rolling. I did notice that in those moments, I was never the one to bring it up first; maybe it was luck or coincidence but I’d be ready to put the suggestion out there – but someone else would beat me to it.
It was a thing to do in our minds; exciting and totally forbidden, like telling a kid not to do something was always going to work. At some point, we did away with the game-playing, almost by a weird kind of mutual consent; if you got two or more of us in the same place and there was nothing else to do, there was only one thing to do and, really, none of us ‘hardcore participants’ would object to spending the next several hours doing things to each other that would get us severely beaten if any adults found out.
I found it curious that none of us were really all that afraid of having cock in our mouth or our ass, even if its own was capable of busting a nut; no, our greatest fear was getting caught doing it. Sure, that was the one thing that would make some guys not get involved… but just the thought of getting caught either in the act or after the fact was both very scary… and every exciting. I can easily remember spending the night with one of the guys and feeling his boner pressing up against my backside (or my front, depending how I was laying) and experiencing the thrill of knowing he wanted to have sex and the even bigger thrill of thinking, “If we get caught…”
I can admit to getting caught twice and escaping with no more than a severe talking-to; some guys got caught and, well, they didn’t have to listen to a lecture about the evil they were doing – they got their asses beaten like a rug. I searched my memories and came up with a few times when I spent the night with someone and, while we were sucking or humping each other, that adult – and usually male – voice in the night appeared and asked, “What are you boys doing? Whatever it is, stop it and take your asses to sleep!”
Pretty scary, huh, kinda getting caught in the act like that. Many years later, I always wondered if, in those moments, the adult warning us to go to sleep knew what we were in there doing… but chose not to say or do anything about it and more so since we all learned early on that just because your parents don’t say anything doesn’t mean they don’t know anything. Maybe we thought we were being slick and sneaky… and we were the only ones thinking that way?
We would engage in anything from mm to mmm to mmmm and, well, add more ‘m’s’ as necessary. By the way, in case ya didn’t know, ‘mm’ is for non-adults, ‘MM’ is for those of legal age to be doing the nasty. Anyway, it wasn’t all that unusual for a bunch of us to be paired off and in the same room and then moving on to the next available guy (or you’re the one waiting for who’s next); that whole refraction thing was not only something we didn’t have to worry about at that time, none of us knew what the fuck it meant, either!
And, you betcha – we had that one guy in our group who would take us all on two at a time and we’d have a pretty good line forming as we awaited our turns to unload some sperm into him orally and/or anally. It was a very sad day when his family moved away, let me tell ya!
For some of us, way back there in the mid-1960’s, we had sex with each other and it was pure experimentation, a way to combat boredom or a combination of both. Some guys dropped out and have been straight ever since; some of us – including yours truly – are quite bisexual and at least one of us is about as gay as a man can get.
It’s even one of those things that when you get to be a parent and you think about the things you did in that experimentation phase, it makes you say to yourself, “Oh, shit…” because, of course, you now get to deal with things from the adult side of the fence. I even thought of myself as being a bit hypocritical to tell my kids what my parents told me – don’t you ever do (add thing not to do here) and being uncertain if the warnings are really being taken to heart… or summarily ignored.
It’s at this point where you start to understand that life is a cycle of things and the only thing that changes are the people in it…