When Shit Happens

02 Oct

There are a lot of people who do not believe or subscribe to the notion that when men wind up having sex with other men – and they’re not already leaning in that direction – shit happening doesn’t really happen.  These same people will say and maintain that if a guy gives another guy a blowjob out of the clear blue sky, well, he was already like this to begin with.

So… two things in particular:  Being in the heat of the moment and the classic “blame it on the alcohol.”  Again, there are those who say that shit happening in the heat of the moment isn’t real or, interestingly, shouldn’t happen and that saying you had sex with that dude because you were drunk isn’t a real excuse for one’s behavior.  Those naysayers tend to make me laugh because, sure, while a person should always been in control of themselves at all times, um, that’s not always possible.

Take blaming it on the booze.  What some people probably don’t think about is alcohol is a CNS depressant and one of its more interesting effects is lowering a person’s inhibitions and, as I’ve heard said, releases the “real” person.  I’ve had my share of moments when I’ve been around guys, we were getting blasted, and some kind of sex has jumped off… and the thing that made those moments interesting was I was the only bisexual in attendance.  Then, of course, the funny part is what happens when they sober up and, oops, remember (and realize) what they got themselves into last night.

I have, in fact, heard guys say that the only way they’d have sex with another guy is if they were drunk… which kinda says something about them, huh?  It might not happen every time a guy is way over the legal limit… but it does happen and while it does sound like a rather lame excuse, one should consider that alcohol does have different effects on people and even at different times.

Now… that heat of the moment thing.  Usually, this one only comes up in a group sex setting and the thing that usually happens is there’s a boatload of sex going on and everyone’s in the moment and one guy just happens to be close to another guy’s cock and since he’s riding a very high wave of sexual excitement, um, shit happens and he winds up either playing with the other guy’s dick or, gulp, actually giving him some head.  True enough, ah, some recipients of this, um, extra stimulation just do not have a sense of humor about such things… doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen, though because whatever happens after the fact is an entirely different matter.

As I’ve allowed on a few occasions, I’ve been in situations like this where I was the one getting a hand job or a blow job from someone I would have never expected to do something like that.  Of course, ahem, I’m not the kind of guy to start a fight over such a thing happening… but after the first time it ever happened to me, I became a believer of shit happening in the heat of the moment.  While the naysayers say that this is due to a lack of control on someone’s part, I always beg to differ because sex, like alcohol, can lower someone’s inhibitions; there are some biochemical things happening during intense arousal that isn’t unlike being drunk – but without the side effects.

I’ve had the good fortune – or misfortune, depending on how I want to look at it – to have shit happen simply because the other guy is depressed, usually because he just got dumped by his girl, found out she was cheating on him, stuff like that. I mean, it’s bad enough trying to console someone who’s obviously taking things very hard; there’s really only so much you can say in the hope of somehow helping them to feel better.

It’s something very different to have that same person about to go down on you and while ya might not mind (I know I didn’t) you’re really not sure what the hell brought this on and, yep, all after the fact, I’ve had guys tell me, “I have no fucking idea why I did that…”

The naysayers would respond by saying, “You always wanted to do it, you lying sack of shit!”  And I’m not going to say that there may not be any truth to this… but again I point to the biochemistry that’s taking place during moments of emotional lability which does seem to lower a person’s inhibitions.  It either unlocks hidden desires or just simply makes it possible for the shit to happen.

Of course, manly men would say that being in such a state should never, ever happen… because we’re men and we’re supposed to be strong and all that.  Uh-huh, sure…

Ever wonder how spur-of-the-moment circle jerks happen?  I’ve been in a few of them and still haven’t quite figured out what happened.  All it takes is to get a few guys together, hormone levels start to rise, one guy starts rubbing his crotch and the next thing anyone knows, he has his dick out.  Now, depending on the guys present, this might not be a sign that it’s time to go; nope, one guy is bold enough to whip his shit out and then the other guys kinda say, “Fuck it, why not?” – now there are stiff dicks to be seen everywhere.  If the guys are in within arm’s reach of each other, well, I can’t say what the other guys are thinking at that moment but I’ve seen one guy reach other the other guy’s cock – and the dude doesn’t even object to literally being man-handled and it just seems to spread.

I’ve also seen blow jobs happen in these moments and the best I can explain this is you have your hand wrapped around another guy’s dick and you’re into what you’re doing and, hmm, some… urge descends onto you to suck the cock in your hand.  And, no, I’m not talking about me; I’m talking about the behavior of men who, under other circumstances, wouldn’t even dream of stuff like this happening.

I have even been sitting next to a guy and we’re just talking – and talking about anything other than sex – and have had him look at me and say, “I have this sudden urge to suck your dick…”  Was it a lack of control or the emergence of some latent sexual desire?  In that case, I’d have to say no… because the guy was just as perplexed as all-get-out after it was all said and done and his first question was, “Why did I do that?”

Easy to say, “Uh, because you wanted to?” – but sometimes, shit really does just happen and for no reason that makes sense to anyone.  But, on the assumption that things do happen for a reason, about the only one I can think of that makes some sense is when men get horny – and really horny – yeah, that just happened.

Like I said, I’ve been in the middle of more than my ‘fair share’ of shit happening and while I’ve never been one to object (although I have asked, at times, “Are you sure?”), I realize that even as a guy myself, there are things about us that I either don’t get or can’t fully understand, whether it’s the heat of the moment, Jack Daniel’s fault, or… shit just happened.

The way I figure it, if the guy who made the shit happen is asking what the hell just happened – and after the fact – then there’s something else going on if the guy who made the shit happen isn’t known for that kind of behavior… as far as you know, of course.

I think what the naysayers in this are really saying is that shit could never happen to them more than an assertion that it doesn’t happen; but that’s when you get into that “never say never” thing that tends to invoke Murphy’s Law.  If, according to them, things always happen for a reason and when they’re meant to happen, uh, how can you say that shit would never happen to you?  Because while us dudes just love to be in control of things, it is the height of conceit to think that we can be in total control; good for the ego, maybe, but not in the least bit realistic.

Of course, the naysayers also say that they would never allow themselves to be in such a situation – and perhaps they never would be… doesn’t mean that in this, shit doesn’t happen.  Guys take a position that’s kinda weird and even a bit closed-minded in that if such a thing happened to some other dude, well, okay… but since it’s never happened to them, then shit happening isn’t real.  And, yeah, some guys are the same dudes who would wind up fucking their wife’s best friend – and because shit happened – and say, “Well, that’s different…”

Is it really?  Do you believe that shit can happen… or do you believe that it could never, ever, happen to you?


Posted by on 2 October 2012 in Life, Living and Loving


Tags: , ,

5 responses to “When Shit Happens

  1. travellinginternationally

    9 October 2012 at 23:50

    Very well-written and insightful blog. It started to get me to think about this topic. A lot of it, I feel, revolves around society shunning male on male contact. It is, in some ways, analogous to women participating in a threesome and the artificial guilt they sometimes feel afterwards. By artificial guilt, I mean, the guilt society puts on them for enjoying something because they were not a ‘good girl’ and acted like a slut by going against society’s norms. Men, I feel, might go through something like that too when it comes to male on male contact. They might enjoy it but the norms of society dictates that it is forbidden, especially due to HIV / AIDs, prevents them from acknowledging they enjoyed it.


    • kdaddy23

      10 October 2012 at 00:09

      Thank you for your comments! I know that if you were a guy and you walked up to most men and asked them if they wanted a blow job from you, you might have to seriously defend yourself because, as you say – and as we all know – male-on-male contact is verboten… which makes shit happening a lot more realistic (for those who still don’t think it does). When it has happened – and I’ve been there to see it – there’s always a moment where the guys involved realize what they’ve just done – some of that guilt kicks them dead in the ass – and then they realize that (1) it didn’t kill them, (2) they didn’t find themselves ‘instantly gay’, meaning they’re still the same dudes they were before shit happened and (3) whatever they did wasn’t as bad as they’ve been led to believe. Most guys I know who have had shit happen to them – or they made shit happen to someone else – never made it a habit so sometimes, when shit happens, it’s one of those one-off situations – certain things lined up at the right time, shit happened, that’s that.

      Society says guys shouldn’t do this and pull out the HIV/AIDS card to emphasize their point… but every man on the planet isn’t infected just like every man on the planet ain’t stupid enough to have sex with another guy whose health may be questionable, even though the risk of this disease isn’t limited to MM sex.

      And, despite the stigma and risks, shit still happens.


  2. Non Angry Chocolate Chick

    25 October 2012 at 10:30

    Well written. I have always believed that if any society forbidden sexual situation presented itself, at the moment, most of us will succumb even when we don’t approve of the behavior. Could this be why some men claim they hate gays? I say, hating gays because they are gay spells fear of one’s own inability to pass on a gay’s passes.


    • kdaddy23

      25 October 2012 at 11:00

      Thank you for your comments! No, I believe there’s another reason for the dislike…



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