The Numbers Game

28 Nov

In his comments to “Is the Thrill Gone?” John came up with a good thought, namely, the percentages of men and women who say they are bi.  I personally have no idea… and given how people feel about this subject, I’m not sure I’d want to head up a research team to find out, not because people wouldn’t tell in the name of science, but the data would be all over the place.

There would be people who would say yes to the question, “Are you bisexual?”  There are people who’d say no… and then there would be the people who’d say, “Can I get back to you on this?”  Off-hand, I’d say this group would be pretty big and would contain a lot of people who engages in this kind of sex but would categorically deny that they are bisexual.  One of the things you’ve seen me say about this is that if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, then it must be a duck; these folks beg to differ.

Don’t get me wrong; even though I don’t think it makes sense to be in denial about this, I can understand why, say, “Sally” likes getting busy with “Martha” but because she mostly enjoys dick, well, that somehow equates to not really being bisexual.  We know men are good for this one, not because they’re afraid to confess to being bisexual but because our reputation for being manly is called into question if some of us likes sticking it to the other guy – literally – but we’re definitely not gay.

You have the sub-faction of folks who are, as they say, socially bi; there are the folks who say that they can be “bi with the right person” – this one always cracks me up.  There are the folks who just love being on the receiving end of some delicious oral sex but they wouldn’t be very inclined to return any favors in this regard, the thought here being that if they’re not giving back, then they’re not bisexual.

There are the folks who will engage in such sex when the opportunity arises; however, because this doesn’t happen on a regular basis, well, because they don’t do it as a matter of course, they’re not bisexual and never have been.  As Sunny pointed out, there are the folks who’d say they are bi just because it’s becoming trendy to be bisexual… even though they’re not by any stretch of the imagination.  As a researcher, this would have me scratching my head – well, more than I’d already be doing that because then I’d wonder what would happen if you said you were bi… and someone wanted to check you out; that could get, um, interesting.

There are the folks – and I’m thinking men in particular – who would throw down in the bi mode… but deny that they are bi because they don’t like men like that – another one of my rib-tickling favorites.

When you get to thinking about the many ways one can use to get around declaring themselves as bisexual – and not that they really have to – man, trying to run some statistical analysis on such spurious data would make me nuts because, at least in my opinion, any response that isn’t “yes” or “no” just defies logic.

If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it might be a squirrel?  A swan?  Goose?  Anything other than a duck?  It’s only a duck when I need it to be a duck?  What duck are you talking about?

I would receive a very serious head injury from banging my noggin against a wall trying to put this in numerical perspective because on the question of bisexuality, it’s not simply a yes or no answer.  I get that people aren’t fond of the bisexual label or even the definition so for them, the answer might be, “No, but (add qualifiers here)…”

I’ve talked to people in discussions about bisexuality who almost always begins their part of the discussion with, “I don’t consider myself bisexual, but…” as if self-perception and one’s actions couldn’t possibly be one and the same.  How does one quantify such an illogical point of view?  And just how many people would fall into this category?  Would it be an accurate representation of the percentage of men and women who say they’re bisexual?  Not just no but hell no – and more so if you were looking for just a yes or no answer.

Isn’t it funny that a lot of people equate thinking with doing… except on this particular topic?


Posted by on 28 November 2012 in Life, Living and Loving


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2 responses to “The Numbers Game

  1. Lesbian Brooklynite

    17 December 2012 at 15:32

    I agree. This would never have a clear or accurate answer. The better question would probably be “Have you had sexual relations with someone of the same sex?” Even that question would have qualifiers. It is yes or damn no, lol. Oh, and the whole “they did me, I didn’t do them” mess gets on my nerves. First of all, who is the asshole running around doing everyone and not getting any? LMAO! Oh, this one is too confusing.


    • kdaddy23

      17 December 2012 at 16:50

      LB, it’s only confusing IF one is in denial about how they like to get their cookies crumbled… and the designated label that goes along with it. Your question, which I’ve actually seen used, is quite valid and right to the point and there is only two answers: Yes or no. Period. I’ve learned over the years that when people want to invoke qualifiers to the answer to this question, they’re really trying to say that their actions and their thinking are not the same thing. If you got done and you get done when the opportunity presents itself, um, guess what?

      Check the “Yes” box…



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