After writing my trilogy on the cons of diving into forms of group sex, wow, man, I feel as if I just had one very large orgasm!
You see, as I wrote each piece, a part of my mind was remembering every occasion I had to engage in group sex so I could tap into things such as how I felt about certain things, the issues I had in the beginning of all of this, the thrill and terror of doing it for the first time and, important to me, the sheer joy I felt when I realized that I had overcome the angst I felt and had become truly sexually liberated.
As I wrote and read your comments – and kinda poked Totsymae a little – and I do thank her for being a good sport about it and not cussing me out – I felt myself immersed in the intangible thoughts that are associated with this type of living and loving, things that cannot be put into words… but things I know are as real as I am sitting here, if that makes any sense; yeah, I know – when you’re trying to describe things that defy description, it can make you appear to be quite insane…
It was quite a rush to be able to remember that, yes, I’ve been there, done that and while I wouldn’t be so cocky and arrogant to call myself an expert in these things, I do have many years of experience doing this; I’ve seen the highs and the lows, have experienced all the things that can go right, and along with all the things that can go wrong – and did go wrong.
As I wrote about the necessity to communicate heavily about doing this, I recalled every conversation I’ve ever had about this and, of course, the very first one I got hit with that made me say, “You want us to do what?”
I even realized that there were quite a few times – and before I got married – that I participated in group sex… but none of it required having to get into a very deep conversation to get permission and all the other stuff – but that was different; it’s one thing to get invited to throw down with other people when you’re single and something else when you’re now in a monogamous relationship and you firmly believe in the sanctity of marriage and the commitment to one man/one woman. Then you find out that, fuck, you’re not as grown up as you think and then, purely out of love, step off the end of the short plank and plunge yourself into a world that’s a lot more complex than just having sex with other people.
Complex yet satisfying – a true learning experience. I would say that my ‘orgasm’ came to a peak while writing my ‘letter’ to Totsymae; I could feel the passion in the words that flowed from brain to fingers, felt the power of my conviction because I could let my experience do the talking… and experience based on actual doing as well as having interacted with so many other people to learn of their thoughts, feelings, and experiences in this because while you have to know that you’re not the only person into this type of living and loving, for me, it’s pure joy to find out that, no, I’m not the only one.
So after I clicked ‘Publish’, shit, I wanted a cigarette (even though I’m not supposed to be smoking)! I felt spent and strangely satisfied, a reminder that when you empty out your head and write with passion and conviction, yeah, it’s like having sex, going through the highs and lows as you organize your thoughts and other writer-related stuff like that.
Needless to say, I had fun writing the trilogy; I had even more sex – uh, fun reading the comments that came in and responding to them. So here I am, all post-orgasmic and everything, and now I’m wracking my brain to come up with something to keep this great feeling going, something that could spark interest in others and, yeah, to a certain extent, educate them because one of the reasons I started this blog was to be able to share what I know.
That’s an orgasmic rush all by itself, being able to present these things and, yeah, to be able to connect with others who are not only willing to share what they know, but also to know that, hey, I’m not the only one who got bitten by the bug and I’m not the only one ‘brave’ enough to put these thoughts and experiences out there for everyone to see…
God, I feel so good…