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“Top Searches” Stuff

01 Mar

One of the things I enjoy about blogging is that you can take anything you can think of and/or see and, if the creative juices are flowing, write about it.  So, you can tell by the title that I’m about to kinda go off again on this WordPress feature!  The following items have been hanging out on my Dashboard for a couple of days now:

* threesome mfm position advice

* bi sex blog

* fleshlight site:wordpress.com

* extreme cases of penis envy

The first one, well, it had me blinking and asking the monitor, “What, you mean to tell me that three people can’t figure out what positions are doable?  Jeez…”

The second one, well, I have to admit that this one’s been hanging out for a very long time and I can only assume that someone’s searching for blogs about bisexual sex and is probably looking for all the very juicy details.

The third one, well, imagine me rolling my eyes as I admit to knowing what a Fleshlight is; a couple of years ago, I was chatting with a guy I know who was talking about it and how wonderful it is… so I looked it up and when I saw it, I said, “Oh… that’s different…”

For the sake of propriety and not wanting to get bitch-slapped by WordPress, I’m not going to supply the URL for this one – if you wanna know what it is, find it yourself.  Oh, and WordPress blog-content-watchers?  Just wanted you to know that a picture of a Fleshlight showed up in the Media Gallery, okay?

Now the last one… that actually has some merit and more so if you’ve ever wondered why penis envy exists to begin with.  While one eventually gets to understand that having penis envy doesn’t make a whole lot of sense (well, some folks do), it probably has a lot to do with the fallacy that the guy with the biggest dick gets the pussy and a fallacy that our society perpetuates with its “bigger is better” way of looking at shit.

You wanna know why guys stare at a spot on the wall or studiously watching themselves pee when in the men’s room and at the urinal with another guy?  Homophobia has nothing to do with it so much as resisting the urge to look and check out the other guy’s junk… to see if his looks better than yours.

Given that men, as a gender, has to compete with other men to be able to give a woman the high hard one, yeah, it kinda pays to know what the competition is bringing to the table that’ll make girlfriend ooh and aah and drop her panties… except if you find that your junk is, um, lacking, I can only hope that you can just accept the fact that it is what it is and not do any of the crazy shit available to do and thinking you’ll have better junk because if it works, by the time it does, er, the guy you experienced envy with will have already packed some stuff and quite a few times.

You would think that if we know that bigger ain’t always better in this situation, penis envy wouldn’t ever be an issue – but since it still is, I’m thinking this is something that’s hard-coded into us.  One of the things that makes me roll my eyes until I get dizzy is negotiating for sex with another guy and he invariably asks the question, “How big is your dick?”  Now, it’s bad enough that the question gets asked and even worse when I can supply the answer because, um, what guy doesn’t want to know this for himself?

And, no, I’m not telling you the answer – but the above illustrates that not many men are immune from the effects of penis envy including yours truly.  Again, once you get it into your head that size really doesn’t matter, then all that envy shit goes by the wayside… but some folks never, ever, get over it.

Which brings us to size queens and I’m not necessarily talking about this label applying to women either.  Over the years, I’ve had the size discussion with women and you kinda get to understand how a big one can make them feel even though a lot of them has also said that being bigger is also literally and figuratively a pain.  Honestly, I used to think (way, way back in the day) that women were the biggest critics of cock size… until I started running into men who are so critical it makes women appear to be silent on the issue.

Yes, even though I’m talking about my thoughts on penis envy, you can’t have this discussion without getting into the size thing as well because at least in my opinion, one begets the other.

Back in high school, two guys got into a pretty good fight and, yep, a girl was involved… but the fact that both of them screwed her wasn’t what the fight was about; nope, they were duking it out because the one guy was told by the girl that the other guy had a bigger dick. As an adult, yeah, this is a really stupid reason for putting each other in the hospital, which these guys did, by the way… but, given the age of the combatants and all that, well, sure, to be told that your shit wasn’t all that big was, at the time, a good reason to fight.

Guys can be their own worst enemies on this one and, sure, the people they might want to have sex with can make this even worse.  Penis envy just doesn’t make any sense…

So there you have it – today’s Top Searches, which were brought to you without commercial interruption!  Be with us next time as we explore more of the things people search for that’ll make me ask the all-important question, “Why would someone be searching a blog site for this?”

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5 Comments

Posted by on 1 March 2013 in Life, Living and Loving

 

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5 responses to ““Top Searches” Stuff

  1. marriagecoach1

    1 March 2013 at 13:24

    Amen! The famed research duo Masters and Johnson put out a big very controversial research book entitled Human Sexual Response. They noted that it did not really matter the size, that if a woman if sleeping consistently with one guy, that her junk will shrink or stretch to fit the man’s junk/ They video taped several thousand people having sex in the lab and determined that size was not a factor in whether or not a woman had an orgasm

    Like

     
  2. travellinginternationally

    2 March 2013 at 01:52

    I get the first one, “threesome positions” as a common search for me and I have to wonder why can’t they figure it out or at least have fun trying?

    Like

     
    • kdaddy23

      2 March 2013 at 02:25

      Beats me; how hard can it be to figure out?

      Like

       
  3. Mrs Fever

    3 March 2013 at 13:40

    Perhaps the person who typed “threesome positions” into the search engine was not so much lacking in imagination, as they were seeking information. Frankly, some threesome positions are uncomfortable, and others can be downright painful. If I was going to try a threesome for the first time ~ especially one that was going to involve DP ~

    Like

     
  4. Mrs Fever

    3 March 2013 at 13:53

    (Something weird just happened and my comment posted, even though I wasn’t finished yet… So I shall continue here)

    If I was going to try a threesome for the first time ~ especially one that was going to involve DP ~ I’d be ultra concerned about avoiding pain and discomfort, not only for myself, but also for my partners.

    Considering that the precise search term you listed was ‘threesome mfm position advice’, I’m guessing that advice was requested for good reason.

    So to the random searcher who wants to know such things: I applaud your efforts to learn! 🙂

    *

    On to penis envy!

    You crack me up!

    My husband said to me the other day, “So, size matters, right?”

    I was like, “Not really.”

    He knows I’m a bit of a size queen (6″ is kind of my minimum), so he stared at me for a moment in disbelief.

    “What I mean,” I clarified, “is that it’s not the inches *alone* that matter.”

    “No?”

    “No. ‘Cuz if you’ve got eight inches but you cum in eight seconds, I’m not gonna be happy. So when I say ‘size doesn’t matter’, that’s more or less what I mean.”

    When he was recovering from the acute stitch in his side (from laughing so hard), he was like, “Thanks for the clarification, hon…”

    *shrug*

    I try. 😉

    Like

     

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