I’m still putting my rebuilt computer through its paces, doing things like opening a ton of windows and watching how the OS is handling things, nerdy technogeek stuff like that. I was futzing around with the WordPress stats for my blog and saw that one of my blog, “Maybe Change Is Gonna Come?” got tagged in a couple of blogs, one that’s outside of our WordPress environment.
I thought that was cool; what blogger doesn’t think getting some extra exposure ain’t cool? The next thought in my mind was, “What did I write that these other bloggers liked enough to reference on their writing?” so I dug it out and read it. I always get a kick out of re-reading my blogs and I think this one ranks up there with some of the best stuff I’ve written since I’ve been here. And as nice as I thought it was, what really got my attention was the debate John and I had in our comments about it.
It’s not that I don’t respect what the man had to say; I did then and I do so now… but what I noticed (and why I didn’t notice it at the time is beyond me) was that John, given what he does for a living, jumped up on his soapbox to defend an institution/social behavior that I still think needs to be overhauled: Monogamy.
For the record, it’s a given that monogamy does work nicely for people… but we’re not talking about them at this time except to acknowledge that they do exist (like bisexuals, huh?). If you care to read the blog in question and then look at John’s comments, you will see that he’s right about a few things, namely, we don’t really ever learn how to be in a relationship before the fact. We get the whole spiritual thing, which gets further contaminated by our parents’ points of view on the subject, things we see and hear about going on with other people, stuff like that. If anything, it teaches us more about what not to do (depending on who’s doing the teaching) than what we’re supposed to do so with all that input from other sources, being in a relationship is still pretty much done OJT style; with each relationship we get into (and get kicked out of) we learn something else even though whatever we might have learned may not be applicable going forward.
There are a shitload of books out there on the subject of being – and staying – together, including all those books about how to have better sex in your relationship, how to make her cum like a rock star, how to do the same to him, and other subjects… all of which are a lot of different views and ways to do something that a lot of us – and I’m talking humans in general here – find difficult to do at times: Be in a monogamous relationship and never, ever, be unhappy about anything in said relationship.
It begs the question – and keep in mind that I’m not the only one who’s asking – that if monogamy is so great a thing to be engaged in, um, why does it not work the way ‘they’ say it’s supposed to? I kinda remember saying in one of my other blogs something along the lines of if monogamy was the perfect way to be, the first relationship we got into would be the last and only relationship we’d ever be in. Ah, but we know better than that, don’t we?
I’m not really going off on this… just sharing some stray thoughts I had about reading this blog – and John’s comments again. There are many people who believe in monogamy… and a lot of those same people are still sitting around wondering why their relationship didn’t work, ain’t working, or admitting defeat and avoiding a relationship because it’s not worth the hassle.
Go read the blog and the back-and-forth John and I had about it and chime in if you want to. Tell your boy why you think monogamy still works… or why you think it doesn’t if you’re of a mind to.