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Kinky

15 Apr

I respectfully ripped off the definition of this word from http://www.dictionary.com:

kink·y  [king-kee]

adjective, kink·i·er, kink·i·est.

1.  full of kinks; closely twisted: a kinky wire.
2. (of hair) closely or tightly curled.
3. Slang. marked by unconventional sexual preferences or behavior, as fetishism, sadomasochism, or the like.
Origin: 
1835–45,  Americanism; kink + -y

So guess what definition’s on my mind right now (other than the beautiful Afro I used to have back in the day)?  You know, there was a time that you’d be considered kinky if you had sex in any position other than the good old missionary position; flipping girlfriend over and getting her on her knees to do her doggy-style or – gasp – having her climb on and ride you cowboy-style (and facing in either direction) was considered to be a rather perverted way of doing thing in the privacy of your own home (or someone else’s).

Some of the bloggers I follow are into BDSM and while I’ve read up on this, ah, kinda unusual way for people to get their rocks off, is it still considered to be kinky?  The Merriam-Webster dictionary on my iPod offers quite a few synonyms, like, odd, offbeat, off-the-wall, peculiar, queer and even strange.  But, when you take a look into the history of human sexuality, well, none of what we’re doing today could be considered new in that sense and the Marquis de Sade has been credited for kinda making the SM part of BDSM into a near art form.

But is this weird, queer, or strange?  Is sodomy really all that kinky a thing to do or sucking cock or eating pussy or having a few friends over so everyone can get in the hot tub and screw each other silly?  Of course, the answers to these questions depend on who you’re asking, you know, one man’s meat is another man’s poison and all that.  And while I think that, oh, say, having someone drip hot candle wax artistically all over my body is probably a good way for someone other than me to get hurt, there are those who think this is loads of fun; it’s been long understood that sex pushes the pain/pleasure boundary something fierce, generating all those nice intoxicating endorphins and, at orgasm/ejaculation, making our bodies resemble someone going through a massive coronary.  I mean, I get it:  Humans will do anything they can think of in search of this particular pleasure, that moment of release…

But what, if anything, can be considered kinky these days?  We’ve gotten so hung up on sexuality being the main kinky thing for people to do because, duh, being bisexual or gay is still seen as being a sexual deviant, i.e., you ain’t hardly straight like you’re supposed to be… but is this really the case here in the year of our Lord 2013?  We can see what the definition says… but is that third one even valid anymore, all things considered?  Or, are we still so horribly Victorian in our views on sex that anything that ain’t boy on top of girl can still be seen as being quirky, wacky, or bizarre?

If you’re into group sex – threesomes, swinging, full-blown orgies – or a staunch believer in polyamory, polygamy, or polygyny, are you really kinky… or are you really just a continuation of the things humans have been known to do to and with each other for that sexual high?  Of course, our morals say that if you’re into any of this stuff, you need to seek professional help to get these, um, kinky notions out of your head and despite what our morals say, they’ve never, ever stopped people from getting their jollies off by any means necessary.

I guess what I’m ‘wondering’ is if the stuff we’re doing today is becoming so commonplace that being kinky needs a new definition to include whatever exceptions to the rule that might still exist, like, if you think sticking a live gerbil in your ass is a great way to bust a nut, ya might be kinky… but if you spend your weekends having sex with multiple partners and the ‘straight line’ has been erased, um, maybe you’re not so kinky these days.

Personally, I used to get a kick out of swingers who’d describe themselves as being wild and kinky… but when you read their list of what they will and won’t do, eh, compared to some people I know (including myself), they’re about as vanilla as it gets; in fact, their vanilla friends are probably more kinky than they are even though they’re not swingers.

The group Tower of Power came out with a song back in the early seventies – “What Is Hip?” and I’ve been replacing the word “hip” in the lyrics to this song with the word “kink” and while it kinda doesn’t really work well with this great song, it does pose a legitimate question:  What is kink?  Tell me, tell me, do you think you know?  What is kink – and if you’re really kinked, you’ll pass in here to show that you’re on a kink trip (my new lyrics fall apart at this point of the song but you get the idea)…

What I think is that kinky could probably be seen as anything someone else would do that you’d never do yourself… or maybe something you’ve secretly always wanted to try but the question is pervasive – if you do it (or maybe even think about it) are you kinky even though whatever you think makes you that way has and is being done by many other people?

Does anybody really know what kinky is (asked with Chicago’s famous song in mind)?  I’m not sure I do anymore…

 
5 Comments

Posted by on 15 April 2013 in Life, Living and Loving

 

Tags: ,

5 responses to “Kinky

  1. Lafemmeroar

    15 April 2013 at 00:30

    I think it’s all relative now with what folks have been introduced to the past few decades … my twisted noodle is thinking that ketchup in bed is considered kinky … unless one has a basket of fries to go with it. Luv your musings …

    Like

     
  2. travellinginternationally

    15 April 2013 at 01:22

    Reading the definition, I would have to say that S & M and fetishes are two kinks still left. I believe, practices that were considered kinky 20 or 30 years ago are no longer kinky by today’s standard.

    Like

     
  3. Pyx

    15 April 2013 at 08:18

    I always considered the creation of a free world wide internet to be a good thing, where people can share or seek out information and that includes sexuality: it is how we go on to defining ourselves.

    Do I know what kink is? Certainly, but even I use this word in slang terminology, perhaps because it is easier when writing for people I do not know personally; say fetish and people might not feel as comfortable having one. Kinky, perhaps the more appropriate term, always seemed a bit… icky to me. Kinky. Just say it out loud, it feels dirty and what I enjoy sexually is not dirty. When I say kink I mean it in it’s BDSM form, but that does not exclude the fact that for mom and dad getting a pair of fuzzy hand cuffs isn’t kinky to them – something sexual out of their sexual norm.
    I do not however believe that because we can watch porn or read blogs or find ‘groups’ of people into swinging, orgies, BDSM or anything that smacks of the ‘unconventional’ that it is or has been the norm. I believe we are just able to benefit from this virtual world in finding people who have similar interests.

    If someone tried something once, I don’t think that makes them kink but they might feel a sense of accomplishment, and who am I to deny them that when it isn’t causing anyone else harm.

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    • kdaddy23

      15 April 2013 at 09:31

      Kinda glad you mentioned the Internet, Pyx, because that which was considered kinky existed before the Internet ever existed… but has the Internet lent itself to making the word less than what it used to be since so many people can easily be exposed to sexual things that used to spend a lot of time in the dark and hidden?

      @Travelling, hmm, I wonder if S&M – which is still a part of the BDSM dynamic – can still be considered kinky? I’d think I’d vote for fetishes as being the only kick remaining but this word is also becoming blurred as its definition has changed over the years as well…

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      • Pyx

        15 April 2013 at 15:10

        I think what the internet has done is relieve some of the isolation and alienation we feel because we are interested in something ‘different’ – so if you happen to be living in middle of nowhere but can manage internet access, you can find someone somewhere that makes you feel less alone, and therefor things seem less ‘freak’ like or kinky because hey I just found a whole site dedicated to my one special interest – but try finding someone that is actually interested in living it out, a whole other barrel.

        the example I use often is gaping ass hole – 15 years ago rarely if ever you would see a woman tear open her butt cheeks to expose her inner organs but today I have to actually work at finding a video without gaping asshole. Sex sells itself, we need not help it, but now there is a private venue, in every home, where we are able to seek out to feed our curiosity. Does it make it less kinky? well… let’s just say there are still plenty of women out there that will not have anal, though they are probably more willing to blog about why it is they dont or do, There are however still a majority that are not blogging about the dark and hidden.

        I think it is perfectly healthy and normal to have a list of taboos or kinky limits, I watch some sexual video content online that I would never consider doing in real life – and we all know the social risks of such things getting out so yeah, there is still a large population that considers certain things kinky. I dont mind, I never had any interest in being like everyone else anyway.. would make for a boring planet.

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