I was going through my email accounts and checking my junk mail folders because, sometimes, legit mail winds up going there, something that makes me insane, being a former systems engineer and email system specialist, when I came across a piece of spam that just blew me away with how obvious it was.
It says it’s from the FBI – I’m gonna have to find out who in the FBI I can send this to so someone can get their asses handed to them – and, apparently, thanks to some corrupt government officials, I seem to have a fund that I haven’t collected in the sum of $2.5 million dollars!
Wait, it gets better…
Not only do I have this fund but the spam gives instructions on how to get it – and on sale, at that; not only can I opt to get a MasterCard ATM card that’ll allow me to withdraw $3,000/day, I can opt to get my windfall in a check, via FedEx for $312 instead of $585! Wow! Am I lucky or what?
Of course, the email specifies that not only should I not tell anyone about this, but I’m also supposed to – wait for it – disregard any imposters claiming to have my check or ATM card – after I send them $312, of course – and if said imposters do try to contact me, I’m supposed to notify the “FBI” and they’ll deal with the imposters.
Equally of course, this email says I should contact some barrister in Nigeria to collect my loot and a Nigerian barrister with a Yahoo email account, by the way, and that I should only deal with this barrister about collecting my “fund.”
What really gets me about this is (1) I haven’t seen one of these in a long time and (2) whoever sent this is really as dumb as dirt because, um, if this were true – and it ain’t – it wouldn’t be the FBI talking to me about it – it would be the Treasury Department and, in particular, the IRS. Now, given that one of my specialties when I worked was antivirus/antispam management, uh, do ya think they’re trying to scam the wrong person? Who in their right mind would believe that FedEx would charge either $312 or $585 to send someone an ATM card or a check? Huh? Who’d buy into this?
The sad thing is that there are some people out there in the world who would, in fact, believe this obviously scam-infested piece of shit and they’d send the fools who wrote this the money… then spend forever waiting for their “fund” to arrive. But I ain’t one of them.
Of course, I happen to know right off the bat that this didn’t come from the FBI thanks to the email address this stupid thing came from and I have forwarded it to the real FBI – they love dealing with these things.
Seriously, I don’t know why these fools keep trying this scam; the moment you read it, you know that it’s as fake as a $3 bill; it has glaring errors, bad spelling and even worse use of English and so, as I like to say, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably ain’t true.
I just think these things are funny…