One of the blogs I follow is an oddly interesting one deal with guys who, through no fault of their own other than being born, have little dicks. No, it’s not a blog written to bash the hell out of such men; indeed, it’s rather uplifting in that the blog’s author lets these guys – and their ladies – know that just because you got short-changed in the meat department, it’s not the end of the world.
So I’d been seeing comments to this particular blog – http://lovesmallpenis.wordpress.com/2013/05/27/the-locker-room-shower/ – and, whew, it took me right back to junior high school and being in shower rooms period. One of the things you wind up having to learn – if you hadn’t learned it before hitting junior high school, is that modesty goes right out the window when you’ve got a bunch of dudes all taking a shower at the same time. You can usually tell the guys who have, uh, modesty issues – they’re the ones trying to shower while trying to hide their junk at the same time; the guys without those issues, well, they know their shit is hanging out for all to see and it’s not a big deal… because it’s not like it’s a good idea to shower in your underwear or gym shorts (I’ve never seen this one before, by the way…).
You gotta go from keeping your junk secret to having it exposed to every dude in your gym class and if you think that guys just do not check out the junk belonging to other guys, guess again; I mean, seriously, how can you compliment or ridicule a guy if you’re not looking, right? And, as any guy who’s been through the shower room thing can tell you, the cracks on a guy’s lack of size are downright vicious. Got foreskin? Hope you have thick skin and can dish it out as well as it’s being handed to you. To say that a lot of those comments being hurled around are merciless doesn’t even begin to cover it and I have seen fights break out because someone got their shit ranked on.
The above-referenced blog said something about boners in the shower room being taboo and maybe they are; I somehow don’t recall ever hearing this unspoken, unwritten rule… but if you were in school, taking a shower, and you grew some wood, ooh, you would pretty much get your head handed to you unless, of course, you had a rather impressive branch. I recall being in Air Force basic training and having to share the shower room with 44 other dudes and, yep, you’d think we were all back in high school, ranking on the size and shape of someone’s dick and if, for whatever reason they popped a boner, well, let’s just say that the comments made toward that poor, unfortunate individual would be improper to say in mixed company.
Ever go away for summer camp? I did and you get to see lots of cock and a few boners courtesy of the communal shower room. Got a membership at your local health club or gym? You might not see many boners (the unspoken rule?) but whether you like looking at dick or not, you’re gonna see plenty of them and, yep, your junk will be scrutinized.
It’s funny, just like guys standing at the urinal and paying their water bill; eyes straight ahead, starting at the wall, looking up, and doing their level best not to glance to their right or left to see what the other guy is using for a hose. I remember one time at work when me and some guy were in there, taking care of business… and he was doing his level best not to look at what I had in my hand. It was so funny that I started laughing and even though I wasn’t looking at him, oh, man, he was heated because he thought I not only had spied his shit, but I was laughing at it.
Even funnier, he actually said something to me about it, something along the lines of, “What the fuck are you laughing at?” My response, which was kinda garbled because I was laughing even harder was, “I’m laughing at you trying not to look at my dick – you got a problem with that?”
Turns out that he didn’t and he even confessed to not trying to look, which was good because if he wanted to push the issue, well, violence would have ensued for sure. He said, while we were washing our hands, “You know how it is – you just have this stupid urge to look, ya know?”
And he’s right; there’s something that makes you want to peek and it is very funny to see guys who have figured out how to look without appearing to look, even when you’re in a wide-open shower room. I’ve seen guys spend their showering time facing the wall and making a determined effort not to turn their back to the wall. I’ve watched guys chattering away or laughing nervously because their cock is just hanging out there for all to see; I’ve seen guys come into the shower room and announce to no one in particular that they’re not gay or anything, which always made me wonder what this “anything” could be as well as wondering why they felt it necessary to let us know that.
I’ve seen guys pop some wood in the shower room; I’ve seen them secretly masturbating while trying to look casual about it; I remember a whole shower room gasping when one guy turned to the dude on his left and asked, “Hey, Carl, can you wash my back for me?”
I’ve seen guys trying to be inconspicuous and turn the hot water knob off so that they’re now being pelted with cold water just so they won’t get an erection from being in the same room with naked men, their asses, and all those cocks of different shapes, sizes, and colors.
Are you wondering if I’ve ever looked in the shower room? If you are, then you haven’t been paying attention! Damned right I’ve looked, peeked, drooled, the whole nine yards! Well, maybe six of the nine; there might be some things one could do in a shower room full of dicks and ass that you might not want to be publicized…
And, no, I didn’t escape the shower room attention of my peers who deemed that my shit had to be double-jointed (a physical impossibility) although I was never quite sure if they were being insulting or paying me some kind of compliment. I know they fucked with me once about my dick – which was a good thing considering how the ‘shower room bullies’ would just hammer some of the other guys until they were either in tears or ready to throw their hands. One kid suffered a fractured skull and an awful concussion when he took a swing at one of the tormentors, missed, slipped and fell, cracking his head open on the unforgiving floor.
Mr. Lewis, our “you’d better not ever fuck with him” gym teacher lost his mind when someone rushed to get him – man, did he chew our asses out after the ambulance carted the poor guy off. If there was a good thing about this, it was that only the guy who did the tormenting got suspended; the rest of us got detention for a week because we didn’t do or say anything to stop the accident from happening.
We did have some guys who would not shower with everyone else; they’d wait until everyone was out and getting dressed before slinking in to shower… like no one ever noticed this happening and, yep, they got subjected to a great deal of ridicule because they were so modest.
The macho dudes would have you believe that they never, ever, looked or thought about looking and it seems to me that the more they protested against doing such a thing, the more likely it was they were, in fact, looking. What kinda ratted them out to me was that any dude who didn’t measure up or had a weird-looking dick got put on blast big time; by the time school ended for the day, everybody in school knew that, hey, so-and-so has this really little dick! And the main people spreading the word? Those macho dudes who said they never, ever looked.
Bad enough to be teased in the locker room… even worse when the whole school found out…