I don’t know if I mentioned this, but my Xbox 360 succumbed to the three red rings of death, that damned heating problem that Microsoft has never seemed to correct in the 360 models. So, I gotta fix it and to ease my gaming withdrawal, I have been playing King’s “Candy Crush Saga” on my iPod, my tablet, and on Facebook… and this game is maddeningly addictive.
If you’re not familiar with it, it’s a knockoff of PopCap Games’ famous “Bejeweled” game except this looks like a child’s game… but one that requires adult concentration and focus to travel along the levels, completing the tasks given – remove jellies, drop ingredients – and, well, folks, I would really and seriously like to string up the people at King who invented this game and beat them all like red-headed step children.
I have two Facebook profiles so I’m literally able to play four games at a shot; if I run out of lives on the tablet (connected to one account) or my iPod (connected to another), I can sign into Facebook and play some more.
I can’t stop playing this game. It tests me, it goads me to solve the puzzle; it teases me, letting me get oh, so close to my objective, only to kick me in the gut because I’ve run out of moves and, ultimately, lives. Like a lot of games these days, you can beg your Facebook friends who are equally hooked on this game for more lives; the game is even gracious at times, letting you know that someone needs lives or is deserving of three extra moves. They do come in handy and more so when you’ve gone through all of your power-ups and you’re not inclined to pay them to get more… which I’m not.
So I have to solve the puzzles on my own. I frown, curse, and holler at my devices and I’m of a mind that the creators of the game had parents who were really brother and sister and some of them prefer sexual congress with animals. As I sit and wait with amazing patience for my lives to respawn, I’m actually running a clock in my head, knowing that every thirty minutes, I get another life back.
I normally don’t pay attention to my iPod or tablet when it tells me I have Facebook messages… but I do now, looking for the magic words that someone playing Candy Crush Saga has sent me a request; they either need a life or a ticket to move on to the next segment… or they’re giving me lives, moves, or tickets when I need them.
The game is diabolical, insidious, and quite maddening; when I complete a level that I’ve been stuck on for days, I feel as if I’ve just conquered the world; I have an odd sense of relief that I’ve put this behind me while looking forward to the next task.
I’m not a fan of chocolate… and thanks to this game, I’ve come to dislike it even more. If you know what I’m talking about, just nod; otherwise, these… these fucking things will start stealing space from you the moment you make a move and now you find yourself not fighting to solve the puzzle but battling this infernal, space-stealing, move-blocking nuisance chocolate has become.
I hate this game… but I can’t stop playing it!