“Adam and Steve”

20 Jun

I have a long-time friend who, whenever the topic of bisexuals and gays came up, would always spout, “If God meant for us to be this way, instead of Adam and Eve, it would be Adam and Steve!”  I’d laugh and shake my head as he’d then launch into a diatribe that I’ve heard him say hundreds of times, so many times that I once kinda pissed him off by reciting his manifesto on this right along with him.

“Am I really that predictable?” he asked.

“When it comes to this, yeah, you are…” I replied.

And the conversation would continue.  I understand homophobia just as I understand that having a phobia to begin with isn’t a good thing.  What I found interesting about my friend’s riffing against this was while he’d rale again guys doing guys, when it came to girls doing girls, um, he was okay with that, somehow managing to convince himself that this wasn’t homosexual sex – but if guys did it, yep, worst possible scenario as far as he was concerned.

So he wasn’t exactly homophobic; biased and perhaps bigoted in his opinions is what I’d tell him when he got to the part of his ‘sermon’ where he’d ask me if I thought he was homophobic; that he would often have a boner while discussing the ills of men sucking cock and having anal sex was of equal interest, giving me the thought that one could be both thoroughly disgusted and highly excited about a form of sex they didn’t approve of.

Go figure.

I’ve always found it amazing that there are people in the world who refuse to believe the evidence they can easily see.  Homosexuals and bisexuals aren’t supposed to exist… which obviously doesn’t change the fact that they do and we know that they’ve pretty much always existed, albeit under cover and as out of sight as possible.  Folks get rather biblical about it and even to the point where they can get quite violent and, still, despite it all, this form of expressing love and sex continues to thrive and so much over the last few years that the definition of marriage has come into question.

Prior to the states enacting laws in favor of same-sex marriages, you could go to your state’s website and read the law about marriage, how to get married and, importantly, who could marry whom.  I found it interesting that, in my home state, I could, say, marry my second or third cousin… but if I wanted to marry my boyfriend, it wasn’t gonna happen here or anywhere else in this country – we’d have to take one hell of a road trip to do it and even then, when we returned home, our marriage would not be legally recognized because of the worldwide believe that marriage can only happen between a man and a woman.

So the law is what it is even though it’s changing in places – fine.  I read this blog earlier, which contains a link to the actually subject matter – – and I thought it was a good argument against the argument that’s against same-sex marriage (I think I wrote that correctly)… but what it got me thinking about – and probably not for the first time – is why marriage exists to begin with.

The thought off the top of my head – and because I don’t feel like doing all that digging to find the ‘real’ reason – is that it lends itself to the perpetuation of our species, a commitment between man and woman and with the express purpose of ‘guaranteeing’ that God’s edict of “Go ye forth and be fruitful and multiply” would be upheld.  Which is all well and good – I gots no problem with that because for millennia, it worked the way it was designed to work and including the appropriate stigma toward any couple who couldn’t produce children.

But, no one way back then ever envisioned that a day would come where two men or two women would love each other enough to want to be joined in marriage. There was plenty of angst against homosexuals and this was despite that there were cultures who embraced this fully and with great gusto, something I found to be quite hypocritical – it’s a sin against God but in certain situations, sure, go ahead and do that guy – it’s all good.  Back in those early days of human history, folks of the same sex getting married, that covenant between a man and a woman, wasn’t threatened.

Until here lately, of course.  We know that some homosexuals were going to gay-friendly countries and getting married, again, with no rights, acknowledgement, or status here at home.  The heteronormative faction, as expected, frowned on this but since it was the exception rather than the norm, they weren’t all that worried about it because as far as they were concerned, Adam and Steve weren’t married and that was that… until, I guess, homosexuals here at home asked with very loud voices why they couldn’t be married here and with the exact same rights as Adam and Evelyn have being man and woman.

They could live together; they could work and pay taxes like everyone else and, grudgingly, been recognized as a couple – but without the rights of, say, Bert and Arlene could have even though they weren’t married – this situation is probably responsible for the repeal of common law marriages in some states, by the way.

But there’s a problem.  Being married isn’t just a religious commitment – it’s a legal one as well and the laws of the land say that Adam and Steve cannot be married; these laws have the religious tenets at the root of them and is prohibited because there’s no way in hell that Adam is going to get his wife, Steve, pregnant, which is in direct violation of God’s edict about this.

It all challenges the status quo; it’s not the way it’s supposed to be; it is resistance to a change that continues to happen right before our eyes and, really, if anyone was really paying attention to the way homosexuality was coming more and more out of the closet, they could and perhaps should have seen this one coming from a mile away.

The fight for rights has always been a bitter and, often, brutal battle and this one is no different and as in any battle, there are casualties literally and figuratively.  The resistance to this does, in a way, go against the very foundations of our existence as a country, that is, the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness – and, for many, that includes the happiness of being joined in holy matrimony… except that’s just between a man and a woman… but love and that need for permanence between those who love each other has been proven that it just doesn’t exist between Adam and Evelyn.

The argument expands itself.  It is believed – and I have no idea why it is – that homosexuals cannot be good parents and perhaps this was because, duh, they couldn’t be parents in the way God ordered.  But when artificial insemination came along – and being able to adopt children has been around for a good long minute because some men and women just can’t comply with the edict – well, that changed a lot of shit, didn’t it?

Adam and Steve could try to adopt – not any easy thing to do even if they were man and woman – or they could pay a surrogate to have their child; likewise, Alice and Eve could try to adopt or go to a sperm bank and be made pregnant that way and, gasp, if they couldn’t afford the costs involved with this, they could have sex with a man and do it the good old-fashioned way – the horror of it all!  Sure, it kinda sidesteps the edict; they’re being fruitful and multiplying… just not with each other.

Ah, man… this is an argument that I wouldn’t want to have to take sides on.  Like maybe a lot of people, my thoughts are that if they ain’t bothering anyone, what’s the problem?  John Wilder and I had some pretty interesting arguments about this, him being a former minister and all that and myself being more of a scientific kind of guy.  I don’t say that this whole argument doesn’t have merit; again, it’s been the status quo for a very long time.

What I do ask is whether or not the argument continues to hold water in the face of contrary evidence.  It’s no longer theoretical, you know, in the realm of ‘what if’ – same sex couples want to get married just like anyone else can.  They love, they can reproduce and raise children even if it’s not in the traditional sense and they can uphold the religious and legal commitments.

That friend I mentioned in the beginning of this?  Well, we kinda got drunk one day and at his request, we gave each other a blow job because, as he explained it, that’s how close our friendship was, not to mention he confessed to being curious about whether there was any difference when a guy did it.  Here’s the funny part:  After that happened, he spotted this gay guy who lived in his area who even I knew was a pain in the ass – and he got started on Adam and Steve – again.  The gay guy got on everyone’s nerves because he was always parading around and letting everyone within the sound of his squeaky voice know he was looking for dick to fuck or suck and it was just so annoying.

My friend ranted and raved as expected and when he was done, all I said to him was, “And this is in spite of what happened between us that day?”  I know he didn’t regret or feel bad about it when we sobered up – which was good – but I was just amazed at how he saw this as being different from what he was raising hell about.  It was, in his eyes, an abomination for that gay guy to flaunt his sexuality and just downright fucked up that he’d preach about the glories of sucking dick as if it were gospel.

I realized at that point that trying to fully understand someone’s thoughts about this – and in this situation – was too much of a headache.  Maybe he was being hypocritical since he had done the thing he insisted should never be done (and more than once, I might add)?  I filed this under “Whatever” because to be in such denial about such things – and, again, with the evidence staring you in the face, makes no sense to me.

And probably never will.

Jeez, it’s almost time to exercise…

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Posted by on 20 June 2013 in Life, Living and Loving


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