Jesus, I forgot something very important about why someone might not be able to pull the trigger other than whatever’s going on in their head: What other people say about it!
We are, in fact, influenced by what others have to say about their experiences and, I’ve observed, that we tend to pay more attention to all the shit that they had go wrong – and then, strangely, assume that just because it was bad for them to do, it’s gonna be bad for you, too. Oh, yeah, keep in mind that some of the people who are telling you to never suck that dick or eat that pussy have NEVER done it themselves – they haven’t done it because someone else told them not to.
For instance – and this is a classic one – a lot of people will not engage in anal sex because someone who tried it told them a lot of bad things about it, beginning with it hurts like hell going in and since for most of us pain isn’t something we enjoy, someone who’s never had it in the butt is not going to ever do it… even though they may learn that there are ways to minimize any pain of entry.
Having or doing that first time is the same way. I’m not saying that getting additional input is a bad thing when you’re about gathering up all the information you can about sucking a guy’s dick for the first time or eating a girl’s pussy – no such thing as too much information when it comes to this. However, it is just information; it’s someone else’s experiences and, duh, not your own; while you can get an idea of what it might be like before you do it, well, reality may be different… or it might not be – it depends.
Depending on who’s giving you input, well, you should always try to look at it objectively and that whatever they may be telling you is going to be biased and colored with their own thoughts and impressions. I’m not saying that it’s not reliable information – I’m just saying that you shouldn’t make too many assumptions based on what you hear.
Shit, I don’t believe I let this valuable piece of information slip by me! I’ve had guys tell me that even though they wanted to suck dick, they didn’t because of something someone else told them about it. It’s the reason why when I do talk to guys about this, I’ll tell them what I think is both good and bad about it so they can make an informed decision.
I’ve had some bad experiences in this and I don’t have a problem sharing them with a newbie… but with great emphasis placed on the fact that just because it was bad for me at that time and/or with that particular person, it does not mean that it’ll be that way with them their first time but, yeah, you’re gonna run across your share of bad or not-so-good experiences and, instead of letting them dissuade you, learn from them so that the next time for you isn’t going to be less than what you expect, want, or desire.
It’s why I will tell a guy upfront that if they go down on another dude, they’re gonna find out two things: Why some women love sucking dick… and why a lot of women hate doing it; ladies will find out why there are guys who love to eat pussy and why a lot of us aren’t all that fond of it. Yep, more scary shit on top of whatever scary shit is going on in their heads… but this isn’t an opinion or my take on the experience: It is a matter of fact and one that they will learn if they pull the trigger.
Again, keep in mind that what other folks tell you (for better or worse) is gonna be added to whatever you’ve been thinking about… and it’s just information to be processed. You hear whatever they have to say – and that includes me and whatever I might say about it – and you take it into consideration, compare what you’ve heard with whatever’s going on in your head about it and say, “Okay, I kinda get it…” because, of course, you’re not going to know what it’s gonna be like for you until you actually do it.
It’s easier to listen to what someone else might say about this than it is to do it so if someone is telling you a lot of horror stories rather than what they like about it, you’re gonna be unable to pull the trigger. We don’t like having bad sexual experiences so any chance we can get to avoid what might be a bad one, we’ll take it, won’t we?
And really, folks, if you let the experiences of others stop you from pulling the trigger, do you think that there might be a little something wrong with this? I mean, we do learn from each other in these things… but think about what you might be doing: You’re failing to pull the trigger when you want to pull it based on something someone else told you that you have no point of reference for – think about that one for a moment.
Sure, sometimes, it is about the source of the information, isn’t it? But, even if you trust that person with your life, anything negative they have to say is something that happened to/with them and doesn’t mean you’re gonna have that happen.
It’s a whole lot to think about – and if I tell newbies anything, it’s to think about it before diving head-first off the cliff. Sure, if you know people who have had the experience, talk to them if you can because, again, there’s no such thing as too much information where this is concerned… but you have to be willing and able to find your own answers.
Sex is as much about satisfying your desires as it is satisfying someone else’s… so why would you let someone talk you out of doing something that your thinking/feelings are telling you that you just might enjoy?
I’m kinda kicking myself over this omission and, for that, I apologize. Hopefully, I’ve written this in a way that makes sense but this is pretty much how it came out of my head…