I was perusing some new blogs and ran across this woman’s blog: http://mygayguy.wordpress.com/2013/05/19/i-found-out-my-danny-was-gay/.
To read it is just so fucking heartbreaking; even as a bi guy myself, I feel her pain because while it’s bad enough to come home early and find your husband fucking some strange chick, it can be totally devastating to come home and find some strange dude plowing your hubby’s south forty, if ya know what I mean.
Then I saw that she had written this – http://mygayguy.wordpress.com/2013/05/22/i-found-danny-in-the-closet/ – and I thought, “Whoa… talk about making a bad situation worse!”
I also thought, “Dude, it was bad enough that you got busted with a dick in your ass… and now you got busted again wearing your wife’s clothes?”
Frankly, I was stunned, although I could understand his ‘explanation’ of having been abused when he was young and how such things could give birth to such behaviors. It put the question into my mind (and not for the first time) of how a spouse or other kind of partner might deal with these two situations… and, strangely, I’m drawing a blank and probably because I’ve never been caught in the act like that (that I can remember, anyway). I do know quite a few guys who have been busted with cock in their ass or mouth – things did not go very well for them.
Newbie bi guys should read these two blogs by this woman so you can get a taste of what being on the down low can do to a relationship; maybe it’ll give you reason to come clean about anything you’ve been doing because hearing it from you, while bad, isn’t even close to being as bad as getting caught in flagrante delicto, or if your Latin is rusty, getting caught in the act. Or, duh, it’ll serve as a reminder that if you’re gonna do your dirt, don’t do it at home and don’t get caught.
I’ve been sitting here trying to think how such a thing could be repaired… and I’m still drawing blanks; there’s just nothing I could think of to tell this woman that would explain it, let alone try to make her feel “better” about any of it. It’s one thing to be having some man-fun at the local motel or some other place one can be discreet about it; it’s just something totally fucked up to have your lady walk in and see it and more so if (a) she didn’t know you were into this and (b) she has strong views against homosexual acts. Offhand, I’d say her husband was clearly stupid in choosing to get his fudge packed at home; seriously, why did it not cross his mind that his wife might, for some unknown reason, decide to come home early? Hell, that would have been the first thing I would have thought about!
I cannot say that her reaction – thinking her husband was being brutally raped – was unreasonable; indeed, I thought she was very brave to jump in there and protect her man from what looked like a vicious assault. Of course, I didn’t at all like his reaction; if you’re gonna be stupid enough to get caught in the act, don’t compound your stupidity by hitting your woman because she interrupted your groove – and a groove you shouldn’t have been doing in the home you shared in the first place.
I wish I could say that I didn’t know what this guy was thinking about in any of this – because I do; I know that when some guys get that urge to be fucked by another guy, they don’t always use the right head when going about it. One would think that a guy would stop and think carefully about the pros and cons – and then see that the cons greatly outweigh any pros that can be thought of – and then decide that getting fucked on the dining room table isn’t a smart thing to do – it’s just not worth having to face the shit storm (no pun intended) that you have to know is going to happen.
Go to this woman’s blog and read all that she’s written about this…