RSS

Bisexual Misconceptions

28 Jul

http://soimdatingthisbiguy.wordpress.com/2013/07/25/problematic-information-about-bisexual-men-on-the-internet-bisexuality-does-not-equal-non-monogamy/

I ran across the abovementioned blog yesterday and read, for like the umpteenth time, some of the misconceptions and stereotypes about male bisexuals, like how we can’t commit to just being with a woman, can’t be monogamous, can’t make up our minds on whether we’re attracted to men or women – the usual stuff.

Nate has asked me on a few occasions why I write about bisexuality and I pointed out to him that I do it because a lot of the stuff you can find on the Internet about bisexuality is not only clinical but, as the lady who wrote the blog found out, full of assumptions that aren’t entirely true for every dude who is bisexual.  Her blog really stuck in my head and, as I commented, it does make me laugh to see these things and then laugh harder when it is assumed that all bisexual men behave this way or that we lack common sense about a few things.

Like being in a relationship with a woman, for instance.  While it’s true that there are some guys who will sneak around on the DL and that there are guys who do, in fact, have their woman’s blessings to get some dick when he needs it, most bisexual guys are not only monogamous but any thoughts of them having a male lover just ain’t gonna cut it and, thus, there’s no point in bringing the matter to his woman’s attention.  That a lot of bi guys won’t even mention to their woman that they’re bi and stay faithful and true to the relationship kinda gets passed by or glossed over; it’s easier to point out all the shit bi guys can and will do wrong than to highlight all of the many things they do right.

I said to the woman who wrote the blog, “If you want to know about bisexuality, ask a bisexual.”  You could spend quite a bit of time reading whatever the Internet has to offer on this topic but, yeah, if you really wanna know, find a bisexual and ask them; who knows, they might even answer your questions.  I did invite her to come over to my blog and ask questions (even though her SO is bi) to get a different take on it; whether she does or not is on her but y’all know I don’t have a problem answering questions about what it’s like to be a bi guy from my own personal perspective.

All the gender identity and gender binary crap aside, it just continues to amaze me that there are straight and gay folks who still feel, here in the 21st century, that (a) bisexuals don’t really exist (hell yeah, we do) and that (b) we should stop faking the funk and pick one side or the other.  I don’t pretend to understand why they keep hammering bisexuals with this “either/or” thing – why are they trying to make us choose something other than what we’ve already chosen?

The blog’s author said that she read where bisexuals are unable to make choices… really?  I would suppose that this is supposed to mean that we can’t choose between a man or a woman for anything and that’s really kinda silly because we can make choices and we’ve chosen “and” instead of “either/or” – how hard is that to understand?  We can choose to be monogamous; we can chose not to do anything about what we feel where men are concerned.  We’re not confused in any way that I’m aware of about this; in our minds, our choice makes perfectly good sense.  We’re not in denial about being gay; duh, if we were truly gay, would we still love pussy?

I’m not sure if straight or gay folks know this, but even though we’re bisexual, we’re not all bisexual in the exact same way… or even for the same reason.  We choose not to let our sexuality define us – that can be some really bad juju; instead, we customize our sexuality – we define it for ourselves, tailoring it to fit our situation, our needs, thoughts and feelings.

The real ‘secret’ to bisexuals lies in what it means at the individual level more than what it means when you lump all of us together.

You can either believe all the crap you can find on the Internet about why we are the way we are… or you can get it straight from the horse’s mouth – get it from several horses, if you can so you can have a better picture; just asking one gives you only one point of view.  By doing this, you get the truth as they see it, how it affects their lives, stuff like that there and this, I believe, can go a long way in dispelling those misconceptions and stereotypes…

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on 28 July 2013 in Life, Living and Loving

 

Tags: ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
Jenny's Swinger Party and Dating Advice 🎉

23 year old real estate agent & swinger 💋

Katya Evangeline

From Missionary to Sex Preacher and Loving It!

Domestic Discipline, Jenny style!

Unconventional journey to unimaginable fulfillment.

"Me."

All the things that make me, well "me."

CinnamonAndSparkles

If I had a power color, it would be sparkle. Landon Brinkley

Hopeful Heartache

Ramblings about life, relationships, anxiety, depression, and questions.

SeXXy Julie

Sexual Adventures & Erotica of a Cougar

Tarnished Soul

Searching for Peace in a Tumultuous World

Temperature's Rising

It's getting hot in here...

A Question of Lust

"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

Madeline Harper

ReImagined

Bellaelena

Random thoughts from a random mind

Equal Anarchy

Equality, Gender, Feminism, Sexuality

Sensual Desires

Sensual Poetry

thewritingofpassage

Writing about recovery.

The Watering Hole

Where everyone comes to quench their thirst for insight to life's challenging questions.

B0Y . LU5T

Coming to terms with being male, atheist, married, over 40, bisexual, kinky and blurring the lines of monogamy while living in a conservative "red state" .

afortnightaway

Parts Of My Life

Date A Bisexual

DateBisexual.net

ophisophia

The Wise Serpent

myarousal

Fetishes, Gender Issues, Sexual Politics, Erotic Memoirs

a worried whimsy

bouncing between happy and anxious

ann st vincent

My journey through marriage, open marriage, divorce, being a Mom, sexual rebirth, online dating, failed relationships, and lots of sex

The Conquest Files

"The truth is rarely pure and never simple." - Oscar Wilde

More Is Merrier

Views on consensual non-monogamy

Brighton Bipolar

Adult Survivor of Child Abuse and Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder - Working towards ending the stigma of Mental Illness

The Cannabis Joint

All the information you could possibly want..... coming soon!

Assentively Yours

Ramblings of a depressed mind and other nuances.

Larry Archer's World (LarryArcher.com)

Erotica from the dirty mind of Larry Archer

theopenwife

is there a path to a successful open marriage?

thesinofindia

The silent inside of an anonymous Indian rebelling against society

The (Bi)te

The uninteresting world of a young bisexual girl

The Bi-Love-Ed RESEARCHER

What Perspective Matters Most Depends on Your Perception

Kittykat-bitsandbobs

Just my random thoughts and meanderings... I'll try to keep you entertained

Roller Coaster Life of a Fat Girl

Highs and Lows of My Weight Loss Journey

smallpenisbigissues

when and why size matters

rouge

I write when the choice is to die if I don't

My SEXuality

Why am I afraid to tell you who I'am?

Confessions of a Cheating Housewife

...because love just isn't enough ;)

%d bloggers like this: