In her comments to “What We Think,” Lovergirl brought up something I just had to expand upon, namely, the likelihood of guys taking advantage of an opportunity to do the guy thing or, really, to have sex period. Sadly, it makes us look indiscriminate, that we really would fuck anything that’s alive and breathing and without much in the way of other considerations. It may come as a surprise, but we can and do say no to sex, depending on one’s tastes, preferences, whatever; but when it comes to getting some dick, well, sometimes we might want and need to say no… and the word will never cross our lips.
The why of this is easy to figure out: We stand a better chance of getting pussy than dick in the majority of times and since running across another bi guy and being able to throw down with him seems to be a rarity, when that opportunity knocks, yep, most of us are going to answer. Then some of that thinking versus doing stuff comes into play, something I find a little interesting.
When I think about getting some dick, oh, lawdy, my imagination can run pretty wild and I can envision a great deal about the guy and whatever acts are going to be performed that will lead up to a delicious and spermy end for both of us. I can easily think of what requirements I desire in this guy, running from the color of his eyes to the color of his pubic hair and everything in between and, oh, hell yeah, spending an hour or more rolling around in the bed with this guy would be time well spent.
The reality, however, is quite different; the requirements can be quickly dialed back to a bare minimum, like, he looks okay and if the shit gets hairy, I can whup his ass easily enough and, oh, yeah, he not only said yes but his dick’s hard already! That’ll work!
In my head, I can think about high-end oral skills; the reality could be that the guy going down on me can barely manage to get me into his mouth, he’s using too much teeth, not enough tongue or suction, and other irritating things of that nature, all of which can be summarily ignored if, together, we do things that will result in me busting a nut – whether it’s in his mouth or all over his hand won’t matter until far after the fact. If I’m doing him, I’m thinking about giving him a sucking he’ll never forget; the reality can and has been that I’ve done something as simple as suck on his balls and he’s spewing spunk like a freshly-tapped oil well; after only thirty seconds have gone by, my thoughts have been replaced with the reality of the situation.
In my head, I can think about how I’d loved to be fucked – if I were going to be into this again (and I’m not) – and I can think about the guy topping me being just the right size to be inside me and have great staying power so that I can enjoy the curiously good sensations of being fucked until he loads my ass up with cream. The reality is that if the guy can even get it in me, he may not last very long at all; hell, for that matter, if I’m doing him, I might not last very long!
Sometimes, I think that people think that bi guys spend their free time – when they’re not screwing women – by having sex with men… and that’s not really true. Some bi guys are lucky in that they can have access to a ready supply of pussy and dick… while most of us don’t; some of us could go for years in between having some dick and simply because everything just doesn’t line up right for us so, yeah, when opportunity knocks, a lot of us will answer before the sound of the first knock starts to dissipate.
Does it make us look needy? Shit, yeah it does and it does because a lot of us are quite needy in this. Don’t get me wrong, pussy is some damned good stuff to have some fun with even if in the back of your mind you’re craving a nice hard one as well. We do appear to be indiscriminate when it comes to sex with men and I think that’s because a lot of us don’t care about the same criteria that women do in that situation; as you’ve seen me write many times, all we really need is for the other guy to say yes – and whatever happens after that, well, it is what it’s gonna be.
The sex might be good or bad and, for some of us, this isn’t the point; the point is that we got a rare chance to throw down with another dude and unless something went horribly wrong, just having that chance is a very big good thing. After the fact, we can sit around and think about how and what was good about it, what was bad, what can be improved upon the next time – if there is a next time – and other things that now dwell in the land of the subliminal.
When it comes to this – and I think very much unlike women – we (bi guys) will settle for what’s available to us; negotiations can be kinda intense and involved but that depends on what each guy is into and you can pretty much always count on the other guy being willing to settle for spending some nice time in a 69 sucking each other off. It’s not just about putting out the fires of being horny for some dick; it’s also – and simply so – about being able to do it – period.
Preferences? They’re a good thing to have even if they’re just a baseline indication of what you’re willing to do, the kind of guy you want to do it with, shit like that. But a lot of times, when opportunity knocks, our preferences don’t mean a whole lot; even when you get to the point where you’ve decided to throw down with him, it’s not like you don’t have your preferences in mind… they just don’t matter when there’s a hard cock in front of you – you can lament about not sticking to your tightly-crafted preferences after it’s all over with.
A lot of bi guys, like it or not, have to be opportunistic unless they’re fortunate enough to have a boyfriend or a regular fuck buddy. We wind up sleeping with a lot of gay men because they’re easier to find than another bi guy would be… but it’s one of those opportunities that could come knocking, ain’t it? The chances that we’re gonna find a guy we can really get into on some site are fairly slim; you’re more likely to find some dude willing to sleep with you on a whim than you would that one guy who might be on the site who shares a lot of other things with you other than a love of pussy and dick.
Having to be opportunistic probably doesn’t speak very well of bi men in general and more so when word gets out that some bi guys often get jacked up in various ways because they have to rely on opportunity more than that sure thing. I think of my moments of answering when opportunity knocked and, yeah, sometimes, I wish I hadn’t answered and I’ve even found myself saying that while the situation wasn’t the best it could have been, at least I got the dick I wanted and that it counts for something.
So when opportunity’s knocking at your door, do you answer… or do you ignore it? We may very well think that we’re going to ignore it… might even have some solid reasons to ignore it… and we may not ignore it because that chance to, say, suck dick and get sucked doesn’t come very often – and, yeah, the pun’s intended this time.