For my followers who may not be following Mrs. Fever, you should go read this blog she wrote and, once you get there, follow the link she provided and do a little reading so you’ll better understand what I’m about to start ranting about: http://mrsfever.wordpress.com/2013/09/10/rsex/
Depending on how you look at what I hope you took the time to read, it’s either really fucking sad… or a typical mistake along with a classic reaction to what happens when you (a) let booze do your thinking for you and (b) think that having a foursome is an easy thing to do.
Look, if you and your partner have it in your mind that you wanna expand a few things in your relationship along sexual lines, you can come look at the blogs I’ve written about it (look for the “Swinging” tag if that helps) and then see why doing this could be a wonderful thing to do… or the biggest fucking mistake you’ll ever make in your life.
When you read the linked article in Mrs. Fever’s blog, you can see every mistake that was made from beginning to end. Sure, the author of that article mentions that he and his wife were thinking about branching out but one can assume – and thanks to how things happened – that they didn’t really and seriously talk and think about doing this. They get drunk – which is a fucked up state of mind to be making a snap decision on something like this, wound up getting jiggy with the other couple, the wife had herself a good time, and her hubby, who wrote the blog/article, was, in a word, devastated because she was having a ball… and he had… issues and to the point where he not only got assed out physically but emotionally as well; his strong negative emotions put him on the “Player Unable to Perform” list.
Of course, I’ve seen and heard this one too many times for my liking; to answer the question that’s also the title of this blog – well, an answer from my point of view – is what went wrong was a failure to communicate and then letting alcohol grease the way to some very errant thinking. I know when I read it, I could easily spot the places where the husband could have kicked the whole idea to the curb until (a) they were sober and (b) then able to discuss things fully. See, I’m not saying that impromptu foursomes just can’t drop into your laps out of the blue; it doesn’t happen that often but it does happen and, hopefully, if one does pay you a visit, you and your partner would have (a) already talked about this and in great depth and detail or (b) the two of you have your shit so much together that this won’t turn into a couple’s worst nightmare.
I asked myself if I felt sorry for the guy this happened to… and I did… and I didn’t; I did realize, though, that my lack of sympathy for him was stemming from the fact that I wouldn’t have made the mistakes that he made in this. Yeah, not really all that objective of me but that how I felt about what went down as he related it. I also realized that I did feel… something for his plight because I know that shit can happen to even the most experienced swingers or cool-assed couples who find themselves faced with a swinging situation.
Jeez, I don’t know how many times I’ve written this but, fellas, if you think it’s easy for you to watch your woman getting fucked by some other dude, I beg you to please guess again! If you think this is something you can deal with but then find out, in the moment of truth, that you can’t handle it, then by all means: Tell the other people no. Yeah, they might get pissed but it’s better that they get miffed ’cause you dissed them than it is to go through the emotional turmoil this guy did and, yeah, that his wife totally enjoyed herself didn’t make him feel any better.
Another kick in the head, from my POV, is the wife telling him, after all this was said and done – that if he could handle it, she’d like to do it again. Let’s see, honey, I couldn’t handle it when it happened last night – what makes you think that I could handle some shit like that again?
I’ve got to go back to that piece and see if any new comments are there from the guy who wrote it to see how badly their relationship got whacked, if it did at all. You just never, ever, let booze make such decisions for you…