Lifeofalovergirl – I call her Lovergirl for short (makes the spell checker happy, too) – commented on my last blog and asked about something rather interesting: “And now i am thinking about whether or not when a guy gives another guy a bj, or they have anal or whatever, and one guy cums, do they usually stop? Or do both men usually get a chance to orgasm?“
It’s a good question and I’d guess it’s easy to assume that when two guys get together for sex, things happen equally be it oral, anal, or both, and then they go they separate ways as a couple of very happy campers. But that’s not entirely true and, as I said in my response to her, a lot of what happens depends on what the two guys have negotiated for.
I’ve agreed to give guys blow jobs and wasn’t interested in them returning the favor but, I guess most of the time, if I’m going to suck him off, he’s going to get me off like that as well – and then it’s a matter of how that takes place. Maybe I pounce on him first and give him what I hope will be a memorable blow job, drain his nuts, then kick back and give him his shot at me. Maybe we go for the tried and true sixty-nine or, yeah, he can beat me to the punch and start on me first (that usually doesn’t happen very often).
It only seems fair that if you’re gonna suck another guy’s cock, you get him to cum – and swallowing is up to the guy doing the work. I’ve had guys who were unable to pull the trigger and blow me – but had no qualms with giving me a hand job but, still, the whole thing is about making each other bust a nut.
When anal is on the table, again it’s all about what’s been negotiated. Guys who are known as bottoms usually don’t like fucking other men, taking satisfaction in being in the female role and offering up their ass to be fucked. Likewise, guys who are known as tops usually don’t like being fucked but assume the ‘traditional’ male role and gets off laying serious pipe to the other guy. There are guys who are known as versatile: They don’t care one way or the other and will give and received according to what the other guy wants to do.
After a round of oral sex – and hopefully without either guy busting a nut – it’s pretty easy: One guy fucks the other guy, gets his rocks crushed, then offers up his ass to be fucked. But it doesn’t always happen like that because I’ve been with guys who have fucked me and once they’ve busted a nut, they’re no longer interested in continuing – I’ve never figured out why this happens but the closest I’ve gotten to a plausible explanation is that once he came, his lust was slaked and satisfied and instead of returning the favor and offering up his butt, he’d rather get dressed and go on about his business. I mean, he could have had a change of heart and decided (without telling the other guy) that he didn’t want to be fucked. I dunno and when I had that happen to me (back in the cock whore days), of course, I’d ask why and the guy just wasn’t able to explain why.
I told Lovergirl that men have this thing going on with them that drives a lot of us insane: Refraction. It’s what happens to us when we cum… and then we can’t get it right back up – and I’m not talking about using, ah, outside agents to keep the party rolling. It happens to all men to some degree or another; some guys just recover faster than others while some guys won’t fully recover until the next day. I know that refraction time can be different in the same man; I could recover in minutes one day and the next it might take an hour or more… or not at all. I know that this happens… but I don’t pretend to understand how and why it can be so different.
Refraction drives women crazy… even if they didn’t know what it was called – but they know that homeboy just shot his load and now she’s left hanging in the breeze – and very unhappy with him. It happens between men and while I’ve always been understanding, I can only guess that having the dude bust his nut and then not be able to make the other guy happy isn’t always well-accepted.
I know I’ve started to suck guys and instead of them sinking into the pool of oral happiness, they get frantic and even panicked to the point where they’re begging me to stop – and it’s because he knows that if cums too soon, he’s gonna be done and won’t want to continue to have sex.
So while the perception may be that a guy-on-guy encounter is always mutually satisfying, the truth is very different and is dependent upon many factors – and sometimes it doesn’t wind up being mutual because there’s no time for it to happen; with a lot of guy-on-guy encounters, they’re not always long drawn out sessions; you might have enough time to get blown and depending on how long it takes to cum, it might not leave any time for you to suck the other guy off or otherwise finish him. And because a lot of guys will jerk off before showing up, it could be quite some time before he cums again so. One of the tricks used to last longer because for most men, that first nut could come quickly – but the second one takes it own sweet time about showing up and, oh, yeah, that’s if refraction is going to allow him to get hard again after he’s jerked off.
Since there are a lot of tops that will not suck dick, well, that throws the whole mutual orgasm thing out the window; there are bottoms who do not like being sucked – and probably because they’ll nut and be taken out of the game. Oh, he can still be fucked but as women know, few things feel as bad as being fucked when you no longer feel like being fucked.
Some guys actually don’t care if the other guy makes him cum or not; they’re happy to just get the other guy off by either means and then go on about his business; as I said, I’ve sucked guys off and didn’t care if he returned the favor or gets me off manually because after we part company, I can always jerk myself off or – and this is for Pyx – go home and get me some pussy.
How’s that for unity, babe?
The one situation where mutual release may not be a given is when a guy’s taking the plunge for the very first time, although I know some guys will suddenly get over their fear of sucking dick and do just that and, yeah, I’ve had first-timers do this to me and have swallowed my cum – but I did warn them first, which is good and proper etiquette. I’ve had some first-timers be unable to leap the cock-sucking hurdle – but they’ve jerked me off instead. But, at least in my experiences, I might blow him once or twice and never have him return the favor of getting me off – I never saw it as being unusual.
It all sounds fucked up when compared to what could be perceived as the “ideal sexual situation” – but it is what it is. It’s all about personal preferences and, sometimes, how a guy is feeling; time can be a major consideration in this and then there’s the whole top, bottom, versatile thing to consider – and even then mutually assured destruction of both guys might not be a given.
It happens and it’s just something that we accept as an occupational hazard and if we both cum, fine… but if someone doesn’t, well, sometimes it’s no big deal and sometimes it is. It’s all situational and conditional and also subject to Murphy’s Law – if it can go wrong, it will go wrong.