While I was out having an MRI done of my brain – to make sure there’s nothing going on wrong in there that’ll make me have another stroke, I lay inside the very noisy machine passing the scanning time by thinking about a lot of stuff and one of the things I thought about was this perception by the Community that bisexuals have the same social issues that others who aren’t straight have.
And maybe some bi folks are having problems adjusting – ain’t gonna say that’s not possible – but since all I could do was lie on that table in that very cold room and think about myself in this, I seriously thought about what, if any, things give me grief because I’m bi.
I don’t worry a whole lot about this because I’m out already, I pick and choose who I want to share this with, and I’m at the point in my life where I really don’t give a fuck if someone doesn’t like the fact that I’m bi; if they’re cool with it, fine, but if they aren’t, they need to grow up and deal with it. Sure, it sounds rude… but that’s how I feel about it.
I don’t worry about this as much as I do think about being able to wrap my mouth around some guy’s cock and working it until he spills his load; worrying about it creates unnecessary stress and I’m not about stressing myself. Yes, I’m aware of the health risks so since I know this, it’s all about being smart about things and if I’m nothing else, I’m kinda/sorta smart.
At least in my mind, the social issues are a lot less pressing than they were back in the day. Yes, there are folks out there who hate anyone who isn’t straight and lots more who’d like to do some serious harm to someone who isn’t straight. This kinda goes along with the acceptance thing and I’ve found that even when the topic of sexuality comes up in conversation with others, I’m not all that leery about putting my two cents in nor am I worried about what someone else thinks about what I have to say. Everyone’s entitled to their opinion and if they don’t like me, I have some suggestions for them that might be anatomically impossible.
I’ve gotten past the internal angst created when I wondered if I was really gay and I’ll admit that for the time I thought about it, it was pretty stressful – until I realized that I was pondering this question and still having a field day having sex with women so that pretty much answered the “am I gay” question. So, emotionally, I’m good although I do think about the relationship between my sexuality and my age and I hope that my libido and my ability to get an erection keeps being as strong as they are. Besides, I have more pressing things to ‘worry’ about, like staying alive and healthy along with the other things that tend to clutter my mind when it comes to making it through each and every day.
Stopped having to deal with that too many years ago; the easiest way to deal with any peer pressure is to not let them goad or bully you into doing shit you don’t want to do just so you can be popular with them – and that goes for being an adult, too.
I’m not gonna say that I haven’t had my share of these and because of my sexuality; there are just some women who can’t deal with someone who likes dick as much as they do and, yeah, it sucks to get dissed because of this… but it also taught me a few things about women and relating with them and not to let their disgust or disapproval dictate my own desires. It’s true: Just because you can do a thing doesn’t mean you have to – or that you’re going to – and this is a good thing to keep in my head (not that I’m gonna forget it any time soon); it makes being in a relationship easier but with the understanding that my sexuality isn’t some kind of phase or anything like that – it’s as much a part of me as breathing is.
I am fortunate to have a woman who thinks my being bi is not only cool but pretty damned hot; she understands this thing about me and, as I’ve mentioned many times, gets more excited about it than I do at times so I don’t have to defend myself in this; I don’t have to spend time trying to explain my sexuality to her – she understands that it’s an integral part of me and as everyone should do in a relationship, you accept the person as they are. I have a great relationship with her and loving her – and being loved by her – is so very comforting.
I find that I don’t have a hell of a whole lot to worry about being a bi guy – well, not much that I’m going to pay attention to. It does bring into focus that there are a lot of bi men who have plenty to worry about and while every guy’s situation is different, we can still learn from each other, like how to cope with being bi, being in a relationship, stuff like that. We don’t have to all be out in order to enjoy being bisexual; we don’t have to join the Community to help us deal with being accepted – but we could and if for the sole reason that some of us do, in fact, need the kind of support that the Community can provide.