I’m once again thinking about the Community and, in particular, that faction that seems to be going out of their way to bad-mouth bisexuals, doing their best to keep the stereotypes associated with us alive and well… and I’m wondering why they’d do this. I get that some gays don’t believe in or even like bisexuals; it’s either that crazy “if you’re not one of us, you’re against us” thing they have going on or, even more likely, a lot of gays have given a bisexual their heart and soul, only to have it get crushed.
They say we have sex indiscriminately… and I say how is that different from how other people have sex? They say we can’t be monogamous and, again, how is that different from other people who’d rather not be monogamous? They have this fear of having their partner stolen from them… once more, how is that different than the risk other couples take?
They say we’re in denial about being gay… and I think that’s both insulting and hilarious because who put them in charge of deciding this? Likewise, because a lot of bisexuals have relationships with a MOTOS, they feel we’re faking the funk or are traitors to the cause. We’re different than they are, which puts on display a behavior that has always been the shame of the human race: Disliking anyone who isn’t like ‘us’.
That we have something in common with them seems to get lost in the sauce and given one of the things the Community supposedly stands for is that sense of commonality, that those of us who aren’t straight and those who have gender identification issue are alike even though there are different patches of common ground upon which we all stand. It’s no longer ‘unusual’ for a man who believes he’s female to undergo the transformation into a woman – and then have a relationship with a man. I don’t recall the Community ever jumping on folks like this and saying that they’re really gay or that because they crossed the gender line, they’re traitors to the cause.
It’s a fucked up way to behave; it’s a fucked up way to show the straight world a sense of unity and sending the message that despite our sexuality differences, we’re not all that different. I must point out again that I do feel that the Community does do a lot of good things and have done much to help people understand themselves but, in my opinion, they’re no different than a lot of organizations in that they have this pocket of prejudice that’s aimed at bisexuals… and I’m wondering just what it was we did to piss this faction off.
But this is nothing new – I’ve run into plenty of gay men who didn’t like the fact that I’m bisexual and some of the arguments that have ensued have been epic and they’ve found out that I’m not the one and that, more often than not, their arms are way too short to box with me, verbally or otherwise. It makes no sense – it makes no sense to me, I should say – to condemn a sexuality segment because they’re not one way or the other, behaving as if such a thing shouldn’t ever be possible… then again, there are those in the world who think that being gay shouldn’t ever be possible.
And none of what they think about this means anything because, duh, bisexuals do exist. Yep, we have the utter gall to not only like the opposite sex, we like the same sex, too, and as far as we’re concerned, there’s nothing wrong with this. Yet, this faction of the Community is trying to do to us what straight folks have been trying to do to them: Put us into a box that we, as bisexuals, know we don’t belong in.
Could it be that this faction of the Community isn’t happy about all the media attention bisexuals have been getting, like all the celebrities that have come out as bi in the media or the untold number of ‘regular’ people who have stepped up and have admitted that they like both sides of the fence, thereby drawing attention away from the gay cause of acceptance and equality? Could they be hating on us because bisexuals don’t have ‘equality’ issues… and the only way they can deal with this is to fight dirty, similar to the way politicians behave come election time?
I wonder if this faction has the intelligence to understand that what one bisexual might have done in the past isn’t the gold standard for every bisexual on the planet… and then I wonder why it is that they don’t understand this because it’s a simple thing to understand: It’s pretty fucked up and highly insular to blame everyone for the faults of a few. I know I was taught not to behave like that and if I find myself behaving in such an unseemly manner, it had better be because a single and specific individual has drawn my ire.
See, that faction of the Community’s stance is just as fucked up as my saying that all Caucasians are guilty of keeping slaves – even though I know that this isn’t true. It wasn’t true when it happened and it’s not true now. By having such an unintelligent stance against bisexuals, they are, in my opinion, putting a major dent in all the good that the Community has done and is trying to do.
They’d probably love it if it was decided to take the “B” out of LGBTQ (if you like using the ‘Q’) and while I wouldn’t dare speak for other bisexuals out there, it wouldn’t bother me at all if they chose to disassociate themselves with bisexuals. I would, however, feel bad for all those bisexuals who do benefit from the services the Community has to offer.
It may seem as if I’ve got a hard-on for the Community – and I really don’t. I do, at times, get pissed about all the bullshit being slung around about bisexuals. I can understand straight people slinging shit at us… but I don’t quite understand why a segment of the population in which we have something in common with sees fit to fling shit at us… and more so when the only time we’re ‘bothering’ them is when we have sex with them. To me, this makes that faction’s behavior even worse: They feel we’re not good enough to be a part of the Community… but we’re good enough to fuck?
Is it me or does this sound fucked up? I think it is and y’all know me – I will say something about it because the Community, as a whole, should be showing the heteronormative world that we can stand together, with them and with ourselves as well.
Someone should send that faction of the Community to their rooms and put them on punishment for making all of us look bad…
On to something else now…