RSS

“Advice for Budding Bisexuals”

06 Jan

Surprisingly, the title of this writing is the only Top Searches item I have today – I’ve gotten used to seeing lots of stuff in that box.  I took a moment to think about what I’d say to a budding bisexual today and in light of recent media crap that puts a lot of doubt into something that has been around since humans started having sex.  So, here goes…

  • Don’t believe everything you read about bisexuals not being real because, duh, we are.
  • Don’t buy into the stereotypes and other bullshit about bisexuals; we can be just as faithful in a relationship as other people; we’re not as promiscuous or greedy as people say we are.
  • Don’t let peer pressure deter you from working this out in your mind; if you spend more time thinking about what others will say, you’re only making this harder on yourself.
  • Think first… then act if you must.  Don’t get into a rush to have the sex; get it all worked out in your head, seek other bisexuals who can answer important questions for you and, most of all, determine if being bisexual is going to be the best thing for you and the life you want to live.  Then, if you decide to take the plunge, do it smartly and safely.
  • Don’t waffle or be wishy-washy; your sexuality and how you’re going to define it to yourself is very important so work out your thoughts and feelings on this with confidence and certainty.
  • Don’t concern yourself with coming out until you’ve come out to yourself; like the second bullet point, if you’re spending more time worrying about who you’re gonna tell and how they’re gonna react, you’re really making this harder on yourself.
  • Read the definition for the word bisexual – then decide for yourself what parts of it apply to you because the definition isn’t a one-size-fits-all kind of thing.  Tailor it to fit your desires, feelings, and needs – own the process in your own way.
  • Don’t think of bisexuality in terms of having a relationship… unless you’re looking to have some sort of relationship (other than a sexual one) with someone who’s the same sex as you are.  And, yes, you can be in a straight relationship and still be bisexual so don’t let anyone tell you that this is impossible; also, do not ever let anyone tell you to stop being bisexual; while you can control your actions in this, no one has the right to tell you how you should feel about your sexuality, budding or otherwise.
  • Open your mind – seriously.  Bisexuality isn’t just about the sex or your feelings – it’s also about the way you think, too.  I’ll let you think about that one…
  • Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re just ‘going through a phase’ or that you’re in denial about really being gay – that’s sheer nonsense because no one else can tell you about what’s going on in your head about this… unless they’re Vulcan and can mind-meld with you.
  • You’re going to have to “revise” your views on morality; you may even question any religious convictions you may have so don’t be afraid to do this and come to terms with these things.
  • Ask questions… lots of questions.  If you can or want to, get in touch with your local LGBTQ chapter, search the Internet, read blogs written by other bisexuals and always keep in mind that it’s just information because the final decision about this is yours and yours alone.
  • Relax; you’re not the only budding bisexual in the world because everyone who is bi had a first time so you’re in good company.
  • If/when you take the plunge, take baby steps – you don’t have to do all that can be done that very first time.  Take the time to experiment, to find out what you like or don’t like and, most of all, don’t let anyone pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do.
  • You don’t have to have the sex; despite what’s being said, bisexuality is about one’s emotions as it is any physical desires they may have.  I know quite a few bisexuals who have never taken the plunge and they probably never will.

Needless to say, I could probably spend the next couple of days writing more ‘advice’ – but I guess this is a good start.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on 6 January 2014 in Life, Living and Loving

 

Tags: , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
Jenny's Swinger Party and Dating Advice 🎉

23 year old real estate agent & swinger 💋

Katya Evangeline

From Missionary to Sex Preacher and Loving It!

Domestic Discipline, Jenny style!

Unconventional journey to unimaginable fulfillment.

"Me."

All the things that make me, well "me."

CinnamonAndSparkles

If I had a power color, it would be sparkle. Landon Brinkley

Hopeful Heartache

Ramblings about life, relationships, anxiety, depression, and questions.

SeXXy Julie

Sexual Adventures & Erotica of a Cougar

Tarnished Soul

Searching for Peace in a Tumultuous World

Temperature's Rising

It's getting hot in here...

A Question of Lust

"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

Madeline Harper

ReImagined

Bellaelena

Random thoughts from a random mind

Equal Anarchy

Equality, Gender, Feminism, Sexuality

Sensual Desires

Sensual Poetry

thewritingofpassage

Writing about recovery.

The Watering Hole

Where everyone comes to quench their thirst for insight to life's challenging questions.

B0Y . LU5T

Coming to terms with being male, atheist, married, over 40, bisexual, kinky and blurring the lines of monogamy while living in a conservative "red state" .

afortnightaway

Parts Of My Life

Date A Bisexual

DateBisexual.net

ophisophia

The Wise Serpent

myarousal

Fetishes, Gender Issues, Sexual Politics, Erotic Memoirs

a worried whimsy

bouncing between happy and anxious

ann st vincent

My journey through marriage, open marriage, divorce, being a Mom, sexual rebirth, online dating, failed relationships, and lots of sex

The Conquest Files

"The truth is rarely pure and never simple." - Oscar Wilde

More Is Merrier

Views on consensual non-monogamy

Brighton Bipolar

Adult Survivor of Child Abuse and Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder - Working towards ending the stigma of Mental Illness

The Self-Actualized Life

Have a fulfilling life, sexually and in every other way!

Assentively Yours

Ramblings of a depressed mind and other nuances.

Larry Archer's World (LarryArcher.com)

Erotica from the dirty mind of Larry Archer

theopenwife

is there a path to a successful open marriage?

thesinofindia

The silent inside of an anonymous Indian rebelling against society

The (Bi)te

The uninteresting world of a young bisexual girl

The Bi-Love-Ed RESEARCHER

What Perspective Matters Most Depends on Your Perception

Kittykat-bitsandbobs

Just my random thoughts and meanderings... I'll try to keep you entertained

Roller Coaster Life of a Fat Girl

Highs and Lows of My Weight Loss Journey

smallpenisbigissues

when and why size matters

rouge

I write when the choice is to die if I don't

My SEXuality

Why am I afraid to tell you who I'am?

Confessions of a Cheating Housewife

...because love just isn't enough ;)

%d bloggers like this: