Again, I’m gonna reference this blog – http://indiscretionsblog.com/2014/01/19/bisexuality-13-types-which-type-are-you/ – because, well, I need to. Shalynne pointed out that the list was mostly about women although I saw a few things that could directly related to men, like types 9 (recreational), 10 (isolated), 11 (latent), and 13 (transitional). Since some guys can have that affinity for men – they like guys like they like women – then type 5 (emotional) could be relevant.
The list of thirteen types does make a lot of sense when you’re thinking about women… but how does this list really relate to men? We don’t think of our activities with other guys in terms of relationships unless we’ve chosen a guy (or two) to be steady sexual partners, like fuck buddies or jerk-off partners; as I pointed out in my comments on Shalynne’s blog, guys might do this because it cuts down the risk of being exposed, cuts down the risk of disease, and it’s just more convenient to already have a guy you can have sex with rather than having to search for someone who has similar needs and desires.
I’ve always thoughts of some men being opportunistic and even predatory when it comes to sex with other men; if the opportunity arises, it’ll be taken and there are guys who actively go looking for other men to have sex with and, no, they’re not always gay. I know that in my youth a lot of us were type 7 (exploratory), doing it to satisfy curiosity and I’d even say that type 8 (hedonistic) would be applicable – doing it just because it can be done. Going forward, a lot of guys were type 2 (circumstantial); trying to get sex from women is never an easy thing to do and that need to have sex just isn’t going to go away and masturbation does nothing except take some of the edge off… or not.
Continuing with this, being circumstantial could come into play when a guy is in a relationship with a woman but she doesn’t suck dick, won’t suck him off, doesn’t suck him to his satisfaction, and/or won’t consent to anal sex; if she’s lost her desire for sex, this can push a guy into being circumstantial, too. Some of the other types can come into play here, like latency, transitioning, and exploratory; guys know that there are other guys who will suck a dick until it’s empty and will allow anal sex as a matter of course. So when a guy is having some issues with sex with his woman, this is almost a logical process provided the guy isn’t homophobic; a homophobic man would rather go without sex or go get it from another woman before they’d have sex with another man.
So far, seven of the thirteen types could also relate to men but I’m also thinking that there’s a progression in this – I can see it in my mind but, at the moment, I haven’t quite gotten it all sorted out, like going from latency to exploratory, perhaps becoming isolated, but also progressing into recreational and hedonistic; taking the emotional path is possible but not all that likely – I can’t honestly say that I know other men who have gotten emotionally involved with a guy that didn’t have anything to do with lust; as I’ve revealed, I fell in love with a guy once so I had both a sexual and emotional relationship with him while being married and only if for a short period of time – this isn’t really relevant but simply qualifies the possibility: If I could have this occur, then it stands to reason that other men could experience this if they were so inclined.
I know that guys who hang out on gay/bisexual dating sites are mostly hedonistic although I’ve always thought of them as being predatory; they do it just for the fun of it but are often quite aggressive and assertive when pursuing someone they want to have sex with.
One would have to assume that men could be associated with the six other types I haven’t mentioned but I only know of one guy who was type 4 (conditional); but he was a gay man who married a woman but I never knew the details of why he did so in my experiences, this is an exception and not the rule as I understand it.
One of the things that throws me for a loop about the thirteen types is the use of the word “relationship” – there are a couple of ways you could look at this word – traditionally, as in “let’s play house” or sexually as in, “I don’t wanna play house with ya but I do wanna play doctor.” To that end, almost all of the men I’ve come in contact with over the years are more interested in a sexual relationship than a traditional one unless the guy happened to be gay… but between bisexual men, getting into a committed/uncommitted relationship with another guy is unthinkable given that this would imply that they’re gay rather than bisexual – and this is despite the fact that they could be married to a woman. This gets fuzzy because, traditionally, women are more interested in playing house, men more interested in playing doctor, if you will.
Bisexual men know why they’re bisexual… and I’m kinda sure that they don’t think of their sexuality in terms of type – I know I didn’t until Shalynne’s list got me thinking about it… and I’m still not 100% sure where on the list I am although type 3 (concurrent relationship) could be applicable as well as type 8 (hedonistic). It makes the mind whirl a little when one gets a chance to look at their sexuality like this and then tracing their steps from beginning to current in order to figure out where they are in the here and now. Some men discover bisexuality early in life while others discover it much later; some men try it once or twice in their youth and never revisit this kind of sex… but later in life, they give it another go and then based on the simple fact that they have done it before and despite the intervening years.
I think that for any male bisexual, it’s about whatever they’re doing and why they’re doing it but it’s also about how they found themselves on this sexual path. I also think that you could interview 100 bisexual men and get different reasons for why they’re bisexual… but I also think a pattern of commonality would also be made apparent even though we do take different routes to wind up in the same place.
Shalynne, how did I do?