I’ve written a lot about my younger days, when having sex was a wild rush of exploration and sex with the fellas was often done as a matter of course. I was sitting here sipping on my coffee and staring outside at the piles of snow all over the place and I started thinking about differences, not in behavior but in perception and how I could have done something way back in the day and saw it as one thing but as an adult, I see it as something else.
Today, I can look back at all the times we got together and wound up having sex – and I mean both girls and guys – and know that we were having group sex; we’d often have gang bangs, known back in the day as pulling a train; we’d have one-on-one sex, threesomes, foursomes and, of course, moresomes that when all of us were together would qualify as an orgy.
There would be oral sex, anal sex, intercrural sex, the occasional DP with girls who just couldn’t seem to get enough dick in them, and daisy chain fucking because it wasn’t all that unusual for you to be fucking someone and someone would be fucking you… and maybe someone was fucking them. You haven’t lived until you’ve been a part of a ten-plus-person daisy chain of oral sex and could be either sucking dick or eating pussy and, yeah, even having your ass eaten and doing the same to someone else.
Experimentation… that time in my life (and the lives of others) where sex was brand new and with the addition of enjoying sex with the fellas, a most wondrous time, filled with illicit pleasures. But then you grow up and think that you’ve left this childish behavior behind, not realizing that the possibility existed that you could experience those exact same things but now with an adult slant on them. The mind easily draws a line between those things done as a young man and those things done being older – I’m not quite sure why this is other than sort of marking a place – I can’t think of anything better to call this transition from youth to adult; what I do know [now] is that nothing really changed other than the players involved and a lot more intensity in the lust felt and experienced.
In my teenaged years, I participated in no less than three full-blown, knockdown, dragged out, no holds barred orgies with an entire house full of horny participants with erased inhibitions thanks to plenty of weed and booze. It was eye-opening to discover that the things I did as a kid had a grown-up version as well and such things added to what I knew about sex and, in particular, my sexuality, completely dissolving the notion that there was really no one else like me and hitting me with the hard truth that I was totally and completely wrong to think like that.
The first time as an adult that I wound up in a pile with two or more guys was… educational. Sure, it was a situation where one could easily blame it on the alcohol, adding to my storehouse of information on how a person’s inhibitions could be lowered or even totally removed. In that first time, I was being fucked while blowing another guy and the guy fucking me with gusto said loud enough for everyone to hear, “Man, I don’t fucking believe I’m doing this…”
Which was fine… because I couldn’t believe he was either since I knew – or thought I knew – that he was straight and had a girlfriend and would often say some pretty nasty shit about gay men – the ones who acted like girls. The guy I was sucking wasn’t that much of a surprise; I knew he had been having sex with his brothers for “a while,” as he put it, a confirmation that if you never thought or believed that this kind of thing happened, you were sorely misinformed. Still, it wasn’t about being judgemental and it’s kinda difficult to be this way when you have a hard dick in your mouth and copious amounts of sperm are being spilt as a result of your efforts.
The guy who had his straightness stripped away looked up at me while I took his anal cherry and said, “I don’t know why I never did this before… this shit is so fucking hot!” And, yes, while I was fucking him, the other guy was reaming my butt out pretty good at the same time.
For them, it was a drunken diversion from their normal behavior but for me, it was just more of the same and a confirmation that the things I thought were childish just simply wasn’t; this kind of sex – and sex in a ‘group’ setting – just wasn’t about childish experimentation. There were quite a few times when I’d be in a group of guys – and usually with intoxicants involved – and a fuck-fest would break out, often beginning with one guy pulling out his boner so he could get himself off and the other guys following suit… and then someone decided that some help was needed. Sometimes it was asked for; sometimes it was offered and I would be in the middle of this and just marvel at watching guys my age behaving in the same way me and my friends behaved in my youth.
If you’re a bi guy, you haven’t lived until you’ve been in the position of riding a dude cowboy-style while another guy is sucking your cock while yet another guy is fucking your face. Just like when I was a curious but inexperience kid, the illicit pleasures were still there… just greatly amplified.
Having sex with groups of guys is so eye-opening. You not only get to have a firmer grip on your sexuality but you get a better of understand of the lust men are capable of even if they’re basically straight but under the influence. You get to see just how emotionally labile a guy can be over the loss of a girlfriend, and the emotional jolt that can leave them open to suggestion or otherwise put them in a frame of mind that having sex at that moment – even with other men – is a good thing to do, something that will act like a salve against the emotional hurt.
Such interactions served to reinforce something I learned as a kid and as a teen: When you get a bunch of guys together, there’s no telling what might happen and that sexuality, as we understand it, isn’t really an issue although it does help if you’re already of a mind to have sex with men; it helps if you’ve had any experience with this and I’ve always thought that any prior experience can be an open door to future experiences under the right conditions.
Yes, you can come to grips with your duality via one-on-one sex; it’s the mode that’s more comfortable. I like to think that this is a lot more… intimate than the intoxicant and hormone driven group sessions; instead of having to deal with two or more grown men and dividing your attention as required in this, there’s only the one guy who requires attention. Still, until you’ve been in a room full of men with hard dicks and their lust is literally oozing out of the pores of their skin, you can’t really get a good understanding of what drives men. It’s that programmed imperative to fuck and to sow our seed in the fertile wombs of women… but being bi takes the imperative to the next level, where procreation isn’t the only reason to fuck and spill our seed – and women aren’t the only desired objects for this.
I’ve often said that being bisexual gives you a special understanding; for us guys, we get to find out what women go through when it comes to sex and what it feels like to be pursued and, yes, submitted and taken even with permission/agreement. It’s an unusual position, being made to feel feminine, to have that first-hand knowledge of what it feels like to be fucked and to have one’s mouth used. And with this understanding, it lends itself to sex with women and it can even change your behavior because you know what it’s like to be fucked hard and even brutally hard; you know what it’s like to have cocks of all sizes rammed down your throat and being made to feel helpless – or getting totally pissed off and ready to kick ass and take names.
I don’t know about other guys but in those moments where I’ve had sex with multiple men, it really taught me a lot about myself, about sex, and about other men. You get to understand what lust is, what it means, and even to what lengths guys will go do for the sake of lust, that need to release their seed and a kind of indifference when it comes to the person they do this with because emotional affinities aside, it’s really all about busting that nut any by any means necessary.
My sessions with multiple men were pretty awesome and often startling to be with guys you thought were straight but then find out that either they really weren’t or they could, with a little outside help, cross the line. It would amaze me to see guys who got caught up in this with me have their very first experience and to see a kind of realization dawn on their faces as they have their cock and balls sucked by a man for the first time or having anal sex for the first time, being on the receiving and delivering end of it.
It’s not only awesome to be taken by a man, to share your body with him… but it is equally awesome to watch other men take and be taken, to see their lust and passion being released and experienced and, yes, more so for those guys for which this is something new to them… but something that has been heard about, merely a rumor until the moment they get to experience it.
And through it all, it can still make you wonder about your sexuality and whether your actions are truly a choice or really a matter of the true nature of what it means to be human and sexually active. And then you go and have sex with a woman, as ‘nature’ intended… and then find out what it truly means to be bisexual and male…