The Heart of a Bisexual

The heart of a bisexual:

• Must be unafraid to stay the course
• Must be enduring and strong against derision and prejudice
• Must be confident
• Must be open to the possibilities
• Should understand that this isn’t just about sex but should also revel in it when the opportunity presents itself
• Must be one with their soul and mind to make the right decisions
• Should always know there’s no limits on love
• Should alway strive to be at peace
• Must know tolerance
• Must know, beyond any doubt, that what they feel is real
• Should never be shy or timid
• Must be assertive but never aggressive
• Should embrace, seek, and rejoice in diversity
• Should always understand that just because we can do a thing doesn’t mean we have to… or will

I got to thinking about these things because while there’s so much talk about what bisexuals aren’t and too much emphasis on the sex is harped upon, it’s what’s inside of each of us – what’s in our heart of hearts – that maintains and sustains us.  It is the voice of reason, that thing within us that tells us each and everyday that despite what others may say, bisexuality – whether emotional, physical, or both – is what makes us whole as a person, the things within us that say, beyond any doubt, that we’re not confused, not going through a phase, and that we are not gay.

The hardest part of being bisexual isn’t about getting laid or having to face negativity; it’s not even about when to come out or who to come out to.  No, the hardest part of being bisexual are all of the internal and even intangible things that drives the person we know we must be.  It’s being sure and confident that we have, indeed, made the right decision for ourselves in this and knowing that we can, in fact, stand in the face of derision and prejudice and stay true to ourselves, the one thing that is inviolate and not open for negotiation at any time or for any external reason for if we do not remain true to ourselves, we are truly lost as a person.

It’s not about what we may do in this – it’s about how we think, how we feel about those we are attracted to and in whatever form that takes because even when we choose to do nothing and, yes, we’re more than capable of doing this, it doesn’t and shouldn’t change the fact that we are bisexual.

It’s not that we’re promiscuous; it’s not that we cannot be faithful to our partner – these are things that others fear and behaviors that are not unique or restricted to bisexuals alone… but we know this even if no one else does because in our hearts, we know what we want to do and how we’re gonna do it, especially when we’re already in a loving relationship with someone – the rules of monogamy aren’t as lost on us as it is perceived.  But we also understand that we are guilty by association, being punished by the misdeeds of the few; the vision our sexuality allows us to see the fallacy of this perception and our hearts know that while this may be true for some, it’s not true for all.

And we must trust what our hearts know.  We can let our hearts guide us – but not control us, being tempered by our intelligence, logic, and common sense for it is only when these three things are in harmony can we find the balance that we need in life, balance that is necessary for us to feel whole and complete.