Rougedmount, in her comment to my comment on her blog, “Non event detail,” mentioned the problem her hubby has – the title of this writing. I wanted to familiarize myself with this and I admit to being a little surprised – my search results did not include a Wikipedia entry for this. However, I did find an article on the subject: http://jellygator.hubpages.com/hub/What-is-Madonna-Whore-Syndrome – and when I read it, whew, it kinda made my head spin for a moment and probably because my mind doesn’t work in the way someone with this issue works.
The first article I read on this was, for some reason, aimed more at women who have this… issue and suggests that if a man is suffering from this complex, she’s the reason why because women have this duality about them – the protector of virtue and the hot, horny whore – that, I guess, gives men mixed signals. I thought, “Really? I dunno know about this one…”
I sat and read the above-referenced article and thought, wow, I don’t believe I’ve ever looked at women like this although I do subscribe to wanting a lady in public and a whore in bed… but this thing? Women as the guardian of morality? Men totally at the mercy of their sexuality? Somehow resenting the authority and power women have over sex and responsible for feelings of impotency?
What the fuck…? So, okay; if you’re a man you’re gonna eventually find out that women do, without a doubt, have a lot of power because of what they have between their legs. You want this… and so does every man old enough to know they want it… and women know it, too. You get used to the fact that just because you want it, it doesn’t mean that women are gonna give it to you because you also know they’re really funny about who they give it and why – and that’s putting it mildly. And, yes, their reluctance to give this to us when we want her to can be maddening because, often, their reasons for not allowing us access just doesn’t make sense to us.
But you deal with it – well, most of us do. It doesn’t mean that we just give up trying to get into their panties; while we may be in a funky mood when girlfriend doesn’t want to give up the booty, we grudgingly accept that this is just the way it is. Some of us also grudgingly accept that there are women out there whose sex drive can make us feel inadequate – again, it is what it is because there’s what we think a woman’s libido should be like and then there’s the kind of libido that’ll make us wet our pants and go back to sucking our thumbs.
But some of us actually find having that “whore” in our lives rather exciting but part of our appreciation of this woman is that she can epitomize virtue – that lady in public thing. We accept that women are some really complex creatures and that they can be all over the place where sex is concerned, going from hot to cold faster than the speed of light and, again, for reasons that often don’t make sense to us… or them, either.
So if you kinda/sorta know that women can be both Madonna and whore, um, what’s the problem? You respect the Madonna part of her… and do every sexual thing you can think of with the whore. To resent either part of her is really insane – even though this complex isn’t officially a mental disorder – because one of the other things we learn is that we should accept everything about our woman – and they demand that we accept the good and bad in them.
I’ll admit to having a hard time with this thing – more research is called for…