It’s All In Your Head

04 May

My  legs were trapped by his arms, limiting my movement as he shoved his cock into my ass, his face a mask reflecting the pleasure and strain he was under as he had his way with me, his cock so large and hot as it moved within me with a purpose.  The man on my left just finished spilling his load into my mouth, a large one, too, because I was having a hard time swallowing it… and I had to swallow it so that I could breathe.  To my right, there was yet another man, stroking his long, thick pole as he patiently waited for me to turn my head in his direction and when I did turn my head – to get a major kink out of my overstressed neck muscles, he took advantage, shoving his spongy knob between my gaping lips, cutting off my air as he drove in as deep as he could, not caring if I gagged or choked.

The man in my ass was cumming inside me; I could feel the strong pulsing of his prick as jet after sticky jet of jizz shot into me.  I should have been overjoyed, should have been melting like butter in a hot pan… but I could see the man waiting for the guy inside of me to pull out so he could take his place, a look of eager menace in his eyes as he idly stroked the biggest dick I’ve ever seen on another human being, epitomizing being hung as a horse as he got into position and pushing his impossibly large knob into me.  Although his was way already paved with the slickness of sperm left behind by the other guy, he had trouble getting it into me and I couldn’t beg him to stop because of the huge dick ravaging my mouth and throat and the look on his face told me that he was going to keep trying until his balls slapped against my ass.  He pushed,  flexing his muscular hips, and he tore into me, spreading me wider than could be imagined…

And I woke up, looking around the room for the men who had taken me prisoner and deciding that instead of killing me, there were more… fun things they could do.  There was, of course, no one in the room other than my baby, Linda, who was sleeping soundly and peacefully; it took me a few minutes to realize that I had been dreaming, that it wasn’t real – but you couldn’t tell that by the way my heart was racing or the erection I had raging in my underwear.

“Fuck me…,” I said as quietly as I could, grimacing at my choice of words considering what woke me up.  My bladder said “Well, since you’re up, time to pay the water bill…” and as I stumbled to the bedroom door, I’ll be damned if my ass wasn’t hurting.

Later, I was thinking about how one’s mind can fuck with you about things – and now I’m gonna fuck with Larryarcher about something he said a little while ago, like letting another man suck his dick and it feels good but there’s not ‘sensation’ and his thought that letting the man blow him was like ‘payback’ for Larry being able to nail the guy’s wife.  Methinks Larry and I are gonna have an interesting conversation about that somewhere along the line but one of the things I said to him was that when this guy sucks his dick, maybe he should think more about what’s happening than he is about who’s doing it; it’s been a contention of mine that the body doesn’t really care who’s making it feel good – but the mind can have some objections and the question – excuse me, the rhetorical question is why does the mind object?

It’s because we’re taught that it’s something that only women are supposed to do; I’d even go as far as to say that there’s some latent thing from way back when in our makeup as men that tells us that, hey, he’s not supposed to be sucking my dick and since it’s not a woman doing it, it doesn’t feel good even though we know for a fact that getting our dick suck does feel good.  It’s just funny how our minds can fuck with us about such things, just as it’s funny (but not really) how some men can somehow get past that… revulsion, for lack of a better word, and enjoy the fact that he’s getting his dick suck and, in some cases, better than some women can do it.

Continuing to fuck with Larry – and because he expects me to (for some odd reason) – I actually liked that he said that while he couldn’t suck another man’s dick because it doesn’t turn him on, he’s not actually repelled by the thought; most men wouldn’t admit to something like that and I’m sure that Larry is expecting me to tell him that in order to find out whether or it really wouldn’t turn him on, he should give it a try – but he probably won’t because his mind has already told him that he’s not gonna like it and that he’s not supposed to find it exciting.  He could, as others have said about this, “I don’t have to try it to know that I’m not gonna like it!” and he’s right… but how do you really know other than maybe hearing a lot of dick-sucking horror stories?  We know that it’s your mind telling you this, that it’s already decided for you that, nah, that ain’t gonna be fun… even as, in Larry’s case, his mind isn’t freaked out about the possibility.

And I do, in all seriousness, give him props in this, just as I’m having a very good laugh at his expense about letting that guy suck his dick and it felt good but somehow didn’t.  But I think I know why both things were taking place in his head at the same time – it was that part of his brain that believes without any doubt that he’s not supposed to like a dude eating his dick – and arguing with the part that said, yeah, this shit feels pretty good! – and then justifying it all by saying, “Well, he did let me fuck his wife so it’s only fair…”

Uh-huh – sure it is, Larry – I believe you (but not really, dude).  But I even like his sense of fairness even though Larry opined that his lack of sensation (whatever the fuck that meant) could mean he’s a homophobe.  If he were, he just wouldn’t allow himself to be in that position in the first place, fairness be damned.  Larry is one of those guys who, at least to me, has promise; he’s not really willing to let his mind dictate things where the pleasures his body can experience goes.  I’ve seen men freak out and just lose it as another man’s mouth closes in on his dick and, well, Larry, you obviously got past that and if it even hit you at all (and I’m thinking it didn’t).  It not only takes a lot of nerve to suck another man’s dick, it takes just as much nerve to let another guy do it to you.

But it’s not as much about courage as it is being able to override that thing in your head that says that it’s about as wrong as it get to have anything to do with another man’s cock and plays into the double standard mentioned in Loves Small Penis’s blog about how it’s okay to expect women to do something but men are somehow exempt from doing it themselves.  While this was about tasting sperm (and not so much about sucking dick), yeah, men do expect women to do something that they’d never dream of doing.  Men think this is okay, most women think it’s pretty damned unfair – but that’s how double standards tend to go.

That our minds can fuck with us so much about these things is just so fascinating.  I can admit that when I’m about to suck dick, yeah, there’s this built-in reminder that says, “You know you’re not supposed to be doing this…” but I’ve learned to ignore the warning because I love to suck dick and, yeah, I know I’m not supposed to be doing it which is part of the reason why I am doing it.  I think of all the people, both men and women, who have said, “There’s nothing a man/woman can do for me!” and then find out that they were wrong… and it makes me smile a lot.  Now, what I know is that some people will say this because they really believe it… but others say it to convince themselves that if it happened, they’re not gonna like it… but they know that they will like it so the best way to avoid having to face this particular truth is to make that statement, you know, like all those dudes who say they would never eat pussy… but you know that they eat pussy like starving men, that and they want to keep their woman from finding someone who would eat it, oh, like the girl she said couldn’t do anything for her.

I always challenge those people who say that they know for a fact they couldn’t do it or allow it to be done by asking them a simple question:  How do you know?  They usually get pretty pissed with me, too, but other than wanting to fuck with them, I really want to know how they know this.  How do they know they’re not gonna like it?  Why is it okay for a woman to do it but a guy wouldn’t be allowed to do it?  How can you say that you let another dude suck your dick, it felt good, but it somehow didn’t?

The answers are out there somewhere but I really think it’s because we’ve been conditioned to assume that we couldn’t do it or like it when its done to us by a person “prohibited.”  I don’t know why I had the dream I mentioned at the beginning of this but I know that my mind tends to fuck with me like that and simply because it can and makes me wonder about something:  If your mind can fuck with you along the lines of dreams, what else is it fucking with you about?

Larry, dude, I’m sorry, but while I believe you let that guy suck your dick because his wife was smoking hot, I’m thinking there was something else going on in your head as well and, honestly, my overly curious nature would just love to know exactly what was on your mind when you let him suck your dick and that rather curious thing of it feeling good sans sensations; I’m not sure I understand your use of that word but I also think that if you had just creamed the guy’s wife, yeah, there is some weird numbness that kinda settles in for a few.  Of course, my friend, you don’t have to respond to this at all and I wouldn’t think any less of you if you didn’t.

But I really want to know why and how people manage to convince themselves that this is a bad or wrong thing to do and more so when they’ve never actually done it.  Thanks to Larry for being a good sport about me poking at him like this!


Posted by on 4 May 2014 in Life, Living and Loving


Tags: , , ,

5 responses to “It’s All In Your Head

  1. astraltravler

    20 May 2014 at 21:30

    Dear KD,
    I’m only behind 500 emails.. I Loved your Heckling Larry (we are Friends) 😄. I thought this was Extremely Thought Provoking, and Loved It! I know there are many Woman that probably would never think about going down on another Woman. I Love receiving/giving Oral sex, and since I know what I dig when I was in the position to “perform” I in turn did what I enjoy and She (they) dug it too. I have read ads on “Craigslist” about “Pillow Princess” they are those Woman that Only want to receive Oral from another Woman, and Don’t Reciprocate. My first thought was “how F*&%$ed up is that”. Why would I want to perform and not in turn receive. Then I thought well to each his own. Perhaps their are those out there that find pleasure in only performing, and if that’s your thing more power to you.
    I just had to throw my 2 cents in the pot. Fascinating Dream…
    ~A 😊


    • kdaddy23

      20 May 2014 at 21:42

      Weird dream. Larry’s a good sport but l I liked what he said even if I’m not sure I believe all of it. I believe that oral sex should be reciprocal but not all feel that way. I know there are times when I’d rather give but not receive… but I never receive and then not give – that just ain’t right. Of course, I hit a snag when the giver is a true bottom guy – they usually don’t like receiving in my experiences.

      I re-read this blog and thought about giving head for the first time and that initial yucky sensation and have always wondered where it came from or why it shows up even when you’ve made up your mind that you’re gonna do this.

      The first time I ate pussy, I came vey close to throwing up all over the girl. I didn’t – good for both of us – and once I got over that feeling, it was on like you wouldn’t believe (and maybe you would) but the reason for that feeling just escapes me other than to say it’s your head fucking with you.


      • astraltravler

        20 May 2014 at 22:00

        Dear KD,
        I believe we are brought up regardless of our culture, that men should be with woman. We are also brought up with the attitude that being with the same sex is wrong. That’s were I believe the “programming” starts. Tis true Cunniligus is an acquired taste, and I know there are many men that don’t or won’t even go there. Lucky for me I have never experienced that because it would never would have lasted..I’m a Very Proud Parent of a Gay Son. We support him, encouraged him, and made sure that he knew to protect himself. I’m blessed to have the relationship with my Son to have had many conversations with him that I’m sure no Mother would even consider speaking to their child about such intimate details of their sexuality. I have that with all 3 of my sons. We speak open and honestly.


      • kdaddy23

        20 May 2014 at 22:14

        I’m sure upbringing plays into it – a lot of learned the same things if not in the exact same way. Oral sex isn’t just an acquired taste – it’s an acquired behavior… And it’s not always scent that flips that switch but having your face that close to cock or pussy just causes that reaction. – and if we’re doing this, we’ve pretty much taken what we were taught and chucked it out the window.

        So what’s up with that uncool moment? I don’t really know except I know it’s all in your head… somewhere.


      • astraltravler

        20 May 2014 at 22:17




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