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Those Damned Urges!

13 May

Bisexual man gets urges to cheat

Okay, y’all should know the routine by now:

  • First thought:  “Yeah, it happens…”
  • Second thought:  “Oh, okay, did a woman search for this?”
  • Third thought:  “I wonder if the person who was looking for this realized that a bi man can have urges to cheat… and it probably wouldn’t be with another man?”

Not all men cheat or even have the urge to cheat but I suppose it’s believed that bisexual men have a greater tendency to cheat and, who knows, maybe there’s more truth to this than I am aware of?  Here’s an interesting double standard:  If a woman cheats on her man with another woman, a lot of people wouldn’t consider that to be cheating – it’s just a girl thing, ya know?  Hell, her old man might even find this rather stimulating more than it pisses him off because, I swear, the logic I’ve heard for him not being pissed has been, “At least she wasn’t sleeping with another dude…”

However, if a guy ducks out on his wife to get some dick, he’s a worse cheater than if he had gone out and fucked his wife’s sister.  Are there people who’d say that this isn’t cheating?  Yes – I’ve met them and they use the same logic as mentioned above:  “At least he wasn’t sleeping with some other bitch…”

So if a bisexual man get urges to cheat, um, what direction might he be going in?  Is he after dick?  Found this fine piece of ass at work he wants to tap?  Is he emotionally cheating?  And then what, if anything, is the difference between a bi guy cheating and a straight dude cheating?  Our diehard supporters of monogamy will tell you that there is no difference – cheating is cheating and there is never any excuse for it except, as I’ve said too many times, if a bi guy cheats, he could be guilty with a reason, Your Honor, not that this is gonna save his ass but his reason is better than, “I don’t know why I did that!”

It’s funny that I saw this in my Top Searches right after I wrote “Which Is Harder?” because I know there are a couple of reasons why “Pete” is lying naked with “Earl” and they’re 69-ing the hell out of each other… and one of them is because “Pete’s” old lady ain’t a fan of sucking his dick because she says it’s too much hard work.  The other, of course, is that “Pete” likes or loves to suck dick and, duh, his ball and chain is quite deficient in that area.  Whether the guy is bi or straight, it’s not that he has urges to cheat – it’s why the urges are there to begin with and, no, his sexuality may not be the reason why he has such urges.

If the searcher was looking for information on how to get him not to cheat, well, I doubt they’re gonna find it here; besides, if I knew the answer to that, I would be rich beyond the dreams of avarice.  I know that even if you leave no reasons for a man to cheat, chances are he can find a reason to do it, just as I know that if he’s bisexual, sorry, ladies, but the best pussy in the world isn’t always going to be enough to slake that craving for the touch of another man.  Not that it wouldn’t be fun and wouldn’t be satisfying but I liken this to those moments where you want something to eat… but you have no idea what that might be and everything you eat is good… but it’s not satisfying that hunger – but probably the one thing you have no business eating is the thing that makes you go, “Ahh… that hit the spot!  Now I need to take some Benadryl to ward off the hives that have me itching already…”

If you’ve ever had that feeling – and not necessarily that result – then you have an idea of what I’m talking about.  I could go on and on about why people cheat in the first place… but I really don’t feel like it.  Still, if you know that the bisexual man has urges to cheat, you might want to sit him down and have a very deep conversation about this and without yelling and screaming or trying to turn this into a thing about you… unless you’re the reason why he’s got that urge to cheat, that is.  One last thing:  Just because he might have the urge doesn’t mean he’s gonna give into it; thinking and doing are not the same things, something to keep in mind when you have that talk with him about those damned urges.

 
9 Comments

Posted by on 13 May 2014 in Life, Living and Loving

 

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9 responses to “Those Damned Urges!

  1. ellendolfan

    14 May 2014 at 00:27

    If thinking and doing were the same thing, I’d be a slut of Kardashian stature.

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    • kdaddy23

      14 May 2014 at 00:48

      Ha, not as big of a slut that I’d be called – and I have a hellified imagination!

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  2. ellendolfan

    14 May 2014 at 08:35

    That’s another thing that gets me: the amount of people telling me to go find a woman and experiment. If I’m not going to have sex with a man I love because I don’t want to cheat, why would having sex with a woman be any better? Is it not still cheating?

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    • kdaddy23

      14 May 2014 at 09:00

      Yep, it sure is! Curious that some people wouldn’t see that as cheating unless you did it with a guy…

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  3. Pyx

    14 May 2014 at 08:41

    I certainly do not mean to be a dick when I say this nor do I have one:

    Regardless of gender or roles I can understand how it is some people feel betrayed by a partner cheating; like you not even going to go into any of the ingredients on that bowl of soup.

    I meant to share this will you earlier and apologize for being late but it kind of fits into what I am about to say: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/08/syphilis-cases-gay-bisexual-men-_n_5290483.html

    Now that we have had a dose of syphilis with our morning coffee getting down to the mechanics of it all, I still think that for a lot of people (and the human brain) the parts each gender carries bring something to the argument but time and time again we are presented with numbers and facts that penis is ‘dirty’ however bisexual and gay penis is more dirty. I am always the first to admit that we men and ladies have had to deal with a lot of subliminal sexual crap growing up before the internet: now it’s all just there so there is no denying it affects us in some way.

    I am not saying that just because girls are ‘innies’ that they are ‘cleaner’ but a man might be able to conclude for himself that the two innies rubbing up against each other is not ‘real’ sex. It would be trying to compare apples to peaches and does not put his sexual role in danger or question because: she cannot do what he can do sexually. For some men, female on female sex is played out for the male fantasy, there is no penetration involved, there is no outward ejaculation and if we think about it – and I am not reducing the intimacy I can share with a woman – it’s like taking two dolls and making them kiss, it can really appear to be that light weight.

    Man brain: Yes it is sex but it is not the same kind of sex that I have, penis goes in and cums.

    Now women, might be less likely to have had the fantasy of two ‘outies’ getting it on throughout their lives, because as ‘innies’ we internalize a lot and sometimes we internalize our partners sexuality as well making it a part of our own. Again just the mechanics of it, not talking about emotions here, two outies together are still doing all the things and innie and outie do.

    Throwing out little genetic spawns from the vaginal canal aside dick is getting sucked, it is going IN to a hole, it is ejaculating and lets all be honest here guys can get boobs and look pretty fucking good in girls’ clothing too – it still by virtue of mechanics penetrative sex and feels good.

    The female brain: how do I even begin to compete with that on a mechanical level.

    I have yet to see a woman ‘butch’ up for her man, maybe tack on a beard or something while taking his ass but he too has a whole identity wrapped into being with a man. I have more to catch up on with your blog and I know what is waiting for me ‘Which is Harder’ might be a great example of how some women think of man on man sex – as if there was an actual way to compare it to being with a woman … more coffee is needed!

    Great entry as always

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    • kdaddy23

      14 May 2014 at 09:18

      Welcome back, Pyx! I prefer my coffee with cream and sugar, though…

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    • kdaddy23

      14 May 2014 at 10:37

      Okay, Pyx, now that I’ve had some coffee and some penicillin, yes, cheating is a betrayal and sex is a dirty game and always has been. We can talk about STIs and STDs from now until the cows come home and we can spend that time pointing fingers at damn near every gender, every sexuality, for the potential to infect or otherwise cause harm or injury. I gotta say that if this is your brain without coffee, can I ship a couple of cases to you via FedEx?

      I know bi guys get urges to cheat… but how is that any different from a straight man or anyone else for that matter? I get that there’s a lot of bi-bashing going on and the “disease-carrying bisexual man who is really gay is responsible” shit, while partially true, just really gets on my nerves, as if straight people aren’t capable of spreading diseases? Now for the part that had me scratching my head…

      “…the two innies rubbing up against each other is not ‘real’ sex.” If it isn’t, then why do some women do it and get off in the process? I’m sure you know that sex is sex and, duh, of course it ain’t the same as playing hide the sausage with a babe – but that’s what they make strap-ons for and you know I’m gonna ask you how many of those you have in your toy chest? I’m not hating on you… just trying to figure out what all of this means – and maybe I need more coffee.

      Does all this subliminal shit affect us? Sure it does and the Internet has helped spread awareness and fear where things sexual are concerned. People have a right to know that the bad things exist but there’s also that “Chicken Little” component to things; the bad things are real enough but some folks just have to make shit worse than it already is by being alarmist about it.

      Then, before I go make this second cup of coffee, I really need to ask you something: What did this have to do with what I wrote? Again, I ain’t hating and you know that you’re very welcome to come here and speak your mind… but damn, woman! Did you write this because you had the fish instead of the steak?

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  4. Pyx

    14 May 2014 at 12:29

    I would think that a bisexual mans urges to cheat on his wife with a guy are very different than a man that is cheating on his wife with another woman… considering the bisexuality might very well be a hidden part of his identity and he is prone to take much different risks.

    the fact that gay and bisexual men are constantly represented as ‘dirty’ does impact my choices on being with bisexual men and is supported by the numbers: carelessness in the face of need/desires being met often in unplanned and prepared situations leads to high STI numbers in bisexual men. Therefore it would be logical to conclude a lot of women read this and do not want to be with bisexual because they are… more dirty. Unfair yes but the truth.

    You brought up a double standard about why guys might not be so inclined to see two girls cheating
    whereas we women see it worse if our men cheat on us with another man – I was simply boiling it down to mechanics, without emotions, that we can not compete with the function of cock. Why people insist on comparing the cock to pussy is beyond me! In the male brain two pussies rubbing up against each other is just that, a woman can’t cum in there, a woman can not do to another woman what he can do – why was that so difficult to understand? LOL

    Orgasms do not mean sex, i have them walking, and if you are for one moment even thinking that a plastic cock can come close to doing what a real penis does – wow – every female couple out there still needs to borrow sperm from a dude to have a kid. Sure it can go in and out but that is mechanical too the function of cock involves semen – you have written about as much. You enjoy cum, you enjoy cumming – are you saying ‘hey bi guys just have her strap one on its the same because sex is sex’ No.. its not and you know it.

    You can hate all you want – you can make fun of me too because I am sure it will stand as a great example to other people reading who might also hesitate when leaving a comment. My writing was not my best but I certain was not writing in Arabic either, so perhaps once again there is the way in which I wrote it and the way in which you read it that is not working well together.

    You are a bisexual man that is holding an open ‘international’ diary to comment; I consider myself corrected to stay on topic next time. Discourse often goes beyond the blog topic but if you want to make it personal (fish instead of steak what does that even mean?) then please understand this: people that read these blogs are not all American. Not all of us have American English as our first language. This is exactly why I do not comment most of the time and why I have stopped commenting on other blogs all together. There is a real awful tendency by some bloggers to approach a comment as ‘negative’ if we are not simply agreeing with the author – and to make it personal.

    No fedEx of coffee required, I am switching to tea.

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    • kdaddy23

      14 May 2014 at 13:58

      You write quite well, our differences in the use of English notwithstanding; you just threw me for a loop with your initial comments – and the fish instead of steak comment came out because I read about your Friday date. Would you prefer French? I think I can shake enough rust off my French… maybe.

      So… bi men are dirty. Yep, some of them are and the very thought of coming in contact with a guy who has slept with another man can make women nuts, whether it’s because of the “dirtiness” or some other factors, like the mechanics you mention because it’s true: You can’t compete with a dick if you don’t have one… but I’d have to think about why women would look at it like this. Yep, I’m bisexual… but I’m not dirty and never have been so that, all by itself, stabs into this very sad stereotype. I’ve said that I might be a horny bastard but I’m not a stupid one… but many of my bisexual brothers aren’t that smart or careful; it’s too easy to let your dick do the thinking for you, to allow you to be careless in these days and times.

      Sure sex is sex; what else could it be, Pyx? If you understand the human animal and that drive we have to obtain sexual pleasure and by any means necessary, if a bi guy wants a woman to strap one on and give it to him good and hard – and that’s what’s floating his boat and hers, okay, what’s wrong with that? And, yeah, for men, it’s about busting that nut – can’t argue a whole lot about that because while it is possible for us to achieve orgasm without ejaculation, we’re just wired for that moment. For women, well, it’s the eternal mystery because just when we think we have it figured out, we find out that we don’t. We know what women tell us, just as we know it’s subject to change and without notice which, frankly, makes sex with women interesting if not a bit maddening because we also learn that your heads aren’t in the same space as ours is about it. Smart folks accept this as a given, that it’s always going to be a bone of contention between us and, yet, men and women take up this challenge.

      The two pussies rubbing wasn’t hard to understand; what I don’t get is how someone could see that as not being sex when, at least in my mind, it clearly is. I also don’t pretend to understand how or why anyone would or could compare dick to pussy – I mean, the differences go way beyond obvious and it just seems to me that some folks lack an understanding of anatomy… even though there are some similarities and if you were aware of them (not you, of course), then you’d see the futility of trying to compare one against the other: They are what they are and for the reason they are. Next…

      Comparing fake dicks to the real thing? Even I know there’s no real comparison here; I’ve been with too many women who have talked about this to know there’s no comparison… but they do have their uses, don’t they? I can see how someone- and maybe even you, my friend – can equate sperm with the mechanics that go along with cock; you fuck with it long enough and in the right way, you’re gonna get the sperm… but that’s only part of those in and out mechanics you mention; there’s that whole “how does it feel when you’re inside a woman” thing that defies explanation just as much as “how does it feel to have a dick inside you” does; the best and easiest answer is, “It feels good.” But you already know this, don’t you?

      Yep, I enjoy cumming and I’m one of those guys who have acquired that taste, not that it’s always a good thing but I’m not gonna get into the chemistry of this. But if we’re gonna get into a discussion of what sex is, wow, this should be interesting; we both know that it goes way beyond making babies – and that process is what it has always been, even in the face of sperm meeting egg and no intercourse is required. Going back to the strap-on thing, am I saying that all bi men should get pegged? Oh, fuck no! But if he wants to try it, why not? Whether it does something for the woman doing the pegging is unknown to me – I’ve never had a woman do it although some had expressed a desire to give it a try. I do know that some women see this as their way to get some “revenge;” some see it as a way to dominate and even humiliate men, much in the same way that men are perceived to humiliate women by wanting to stick his nasty dick in every available orifice she has; as a BDSM practitioner of sorts, I’m sure you’re aware of this and more than I am.

      I am now so loving this discussion. I’m not making it personal – I have no reason to and I actually do enjoy opposing points of view – it’s how we learn stuff. We can disagree, agree, or just agree to disagree – and that’s fine, Pyx; what is important to me is the discourse we’re having: Period. So what if there’s some international stuff going on? So much the better because, as Americans, we have one view of sex and all its related parts, while others of different nationalities have their view and I, for one, am interested in those different views – it helps to paint a bigger and broader picture, it expands knowledge and understanding and can go a long way to erasing the many misconceptions that cultural and even national differences bring to the table when it comes to sex. Yes, I am aware that my audience isn’t all American – and that’s a good thing. Doesn’t really matter to me if English isn’t your first language; like I said, I can probably scrape the rust off of my French if that’s what it takes to have a dialog with you – and it is about having that dialog and no matter if it’s on-topic or not: I’ve encouraged you to speak your mind and unlike some people, I really wanna know what’s going on in yours.

      Your understanding and/or use of English notwithstanding. This, my friend, is how we bridge the gaps that exist between us; it’s how we can learn to understand each other. Do I make fun of you at times? Yeah, you’re pretty damned funny and, I might add, a damned good sport about it, something I do appreciate. Do I ever hate on you? Hell, no, I don’t – again, I don’t have a reason to and I’m always learning to appreciate diversity instead of letting existing prejudices run things, oh, like actually hating people and just because they’re different; it’s a very sad and stupid way to behave and I’m all for rising above this. You can, as is your right, choose not to comment… I, on the other hand, would prefer that you do – what you have to say and in whatever way you wind up saying it means something to me, Pyx, so it would be pretty fucked up if you chose to remain silent and I seriously and honestly hope that you don’t plead the 5th or otherwise exercise that right to remain silent.

      It occurs to me that because a lot of people do, in fact, exercise that right, that’s where all the misunderstandings come into play, why we don’t know the things we should know about each other, that failure to communicate… which isn’t the same as an inability to communicate, mind you. You and I communicate, whether it’s with humor or stone-cold seriousness… and what matters is that the communication is taking place; you and I are doing something that more people should be doing. Okay, sure; you can write something in a way that’ll make me ask, “What the fuck is she talking about?” Here’s the thing, though: I want to know what you’re talking about; I want to understand what you had to say and you did me the honor of getting me to understand it better.

      Is there a better goal that this, Pyx? Est-il préférable que nous pouvons essayer d’avoir une réunion de nos esprits que de tacaud norvégien ou chichi sur nos différences? Shit, I probably didn’t get that right – told you my French is rusty… but through all of this, my friend – and I do hope we’re still friends – it’s really about reaching out to people: It’s about reaching out to people just like you. This blog isn’t just about what’s in my head – it’s about what’s in your head, too, and if no one else benefits from this, I do; otherwise, I’d just shut down the ability for people to comment or shut down this blog permanently… but that defeats my purpose… and I’m not about defeating my own purposes. So, yeah, on my blog, you do not have the right to remain silent; everything you say will be used to enhance my knowledge and understanding of you as an individual, as a woman, as a natural-born Canadian, as a fellow human being. You have the right to confuse the shit out of me; you also have the right to get me to understand you and you are still very much encouraged and invited to speak your mind here. And if I don’t understand – and that’s rare for me – then I have sense enough to ask for clarification – that’s just the way I’m wired, Pyx. I know a lot of shit… but I also know what I don’t know and it’s dialog like this one that allows me to know more shit, so thank you for this.

      Switching to tea, huh? What’s your favorite tea or teas?

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