Lovergirl, in her comments to “I Just Don’t Know,” asked what I think is a damned good question: Is it harder to give oral to a man or a woman?
Wow, what a great fucking question that is! I said something about it – you can read it (I guess you can ) – but it’s still on my mind and after thinking about it some more, I’ve kinda refined my response to the question. Sucking dick and eating pussy each bring a particular set of “problems” to the table; both can require a lot of physical effort and, uh, the differences in anatomical topography alone can present degrees of difficulty.
Women can be hard to give oral to, beginning with whether or not she really and truly wants to be eaten; there are some women who believe this to be a total waste of time and effort and even if they allow it, it sets the table for some resistance; once they have it in their minds that this ain’t cutting the mustard, there aren’t a lot of things the provider can do that will change their minds. I’ve always been of a mind that women have to want to be eaten and even love being eaten and if the whole point of being eaten isn’t solely on having multiple orgasms (or one really big toe-curling one) then I don’t think it’s all that hard – on her end, anyway. While there are several ways to snack on the tuna, there really isn’t an easy way to eat her that doesn’t put a lot of stress on the provider’s body, like the neck, arms, and shoulders – and this is on top of the facial stresses – jaw, lips, tongue.
I’ve had my face scoured by pubic hair; I’ve had my teeth loosened having a very hard pubic bone slammed into my face; I’ve pulled muscles in my neck and shoulders and even my back; I’ve come close to being drowned by squirters, almost suffocated having my head and faced pressed hard into the pussy or have them be on top of a 69 and suddenly sit up, and I’ve almost been choked out by having legs wrapped around my head and neck. Conversely, I’ve been down their having a field day only to look up and have the woman looking at me – and even asking me – just what in the hell did I think I was trying to do. I’ve gotten started on them – only to have them ask me to stop before I got going good so they can tell me that it’s not working for them; I’ve had women refuse to be eaten because, as I said, they already have it in their minds that it’s not gonna work or that they don’t like it.
As someone who loves eating pussy, these are all challenges to be overcome, if possible and I know I sound quite selfish when I say that if I get a chance to eat that pussy at all, I’m really good… even if she ain’t feeling it. None of that changes the… difficulties that can be encountered, things that can be considered to make eating pussy a hard thing to do, up to and including taste and scent, two things that can change the degree of difficulty for some – and I’m deliberately being nice about this part.
Sucking dick presents a different set of challenges, beginning with cock size; on the one hand, sucking a cock is easy – but it’s not always easy dealing with the guy attached to it. Yeah, you have to deal with his length and girth; you have to deal with those changes in his body chemistry that will affect his scent and taste; you have to learn how to master your gag reflex and, no, it’s not just so you can take all that dick down; just like eating pussy, you have to learn how to breathe differently and there are the similar stresses on the provider’s body that can affect knees, mouth, jaw, neck, arms, and even one’s back. If that wasn’t enough, you can now add on the fact that some guys don’t know how to have their dick sucked. Sure, at some point, you’re gonna have to deal with him thrusting into your mouth but if you know that they really can’t keep from doing that, well, it makes it a little better but it’s still a problem if he decides he wants to fuck your mouth like it was a pussy – I mean really a pussy.
Ideally, the guy should just try to be as still as possible and let the provider run the show… but that doesn’t always work, does it fellas? It makes it hard if the guy fucking your face doesn’t know or care that you haven’t mastered your gag reflex and are trying to dome serious pornstar shit on you; there are some guys who get off on making the person sucking their dick choke, gag, and even vomit; definitely not my idea of fun. I have had guys try to do this to me and, yes, I have hurt them badly for it; they don’t understand the danger of aspirating vomit which can damage lung tissue, cause pneumonia to set in and, yeah, that shit can kill you so no; trying to make me to this as your idea of fun will earn you a trip to the ER. I will say that if there are those out there who this is fun for them, well, the risks are what they are and they don’t lend themselves to ease of doing.
Then there’s this: It’s hard to make a guy cum and especially those guys who say that no one has been able to make them cum like this; like women, once they get this idea in their head, it’s hard to get it out. Guys “cheat” by jerking off before you get to them because unless they do, you can get some of them to cum inside of a minute which is horribly embarrassing – but not if you’re the one on your aching knees. If they’re now on their second wind, yeah, it can take some time to get them to cum – and that’s provided you want them to cum like this for you – but I’ll get to this in a moment. I think it’s easier to overstimulate a guy than it is a woman – part of that “zero to sixty” theory I have about this; what makes it hard is too little stimulation and he loses his wood; too much stimulation and you get the same result – but he might not be able to get the wood back or if he does, you might not be able to get him to cum – against, if this is what you want them to do in the first place.
Some guys just have great control – they can just hold it all back and no matter how good of a job you’re doing; they think this is a great thing but for the one doing it, eh, not so much; after a while, there is no position that is going to be physically comfortable and your jaw muscles, which are a small muscle group, will eventually build up a load of lactic acid and cramping becomes a problem. If your purpose of sucking him is to get him off like that, we now move on to the dreaded “acquired taste” and just like eating pussy, yeah, this is the real fucking deal, no joke. There’s the taste of his sperm and then its consistency and then there’s how big of a load is he going to bring; some guys really do squirt sperm like water from a hose and trying to deal with it isn’t always easy, which is also why it’s perfectly good cock sucking etiquette to spit it out instead of swallowing it. He might not like that you didn’t swallow but, duh, he’s not the one who has been sucking on this cock for the last thirty minutes, has he?
I think the biggest thing that makes this hard to do is you’re dealing with someone who thinks they know what it’s like to suck dick – and only because they’ve had it done to them many times. This is different, of course, when the guy is gay or bisexual; chances are good that he does, in fact, know what it’s like to suck dick although there are guys who would prefer that you not suck them at all.
Okay, that thing I said I’d get to in a moment. If there is something that makes giving oral hard is your desire to do it… or the lack thereof. See, I’ve said – and those of you who have been following me for a while know this – that if you don’t love to give head, well, things will be hard for you. Liking to do it works but since there are so many things that can make you not like doing it, it can easily put you into that mindset of doing it because it’s expected of you and, for some, it really becomes a chore for them to give head, not because of the physical stuff but because their heart really isn’t into doing it – they don’t have that love of giving head that, honestly, I believe turn you into a selfish somebody because when you give head, you’re not doing it because it might please them – you’re doing it because it pleases the living daylights out of you. I myself am guilty of behaving like this; I’m giving someone head, I’m doing it because of the very intimate rush it gives me and if they’re having fun as well, this work, too.
Those of you who have read what I’ve written about giving head have seen me pretty much go off the deep end about it – that’s just how it is and to be any other way about it doesn’t make sense. Sure, there are cocks I won’t suck and pussies I won’t eat… but if I’m not sucking them or eating them, there is a damned good reason why I’m not. Otherwise, the love of giving head is knowing that you’ll do it damn near any place and at any time – and just because it’s there to be sucked or eaten. I’ve said that when you just love to do it, technique and skill are nice things to have… but that passion for doing it is really driving the car and driving your determination to make them cum… or make them wish they never let you at their goodies.
You merely like doing it and, well, no, it’s not going to make doing it easy. Yes, even when you love doing it, the physical difficulties are still there… but you don’t ever seem to mind them until after the other person is lying there and acting like you just tried to kill them… or they think you just did kill them. I know that I love eating pussy so much that there are times I don’t want to fuck it; I just want to keep eating it and making them cum and, yes, I still feel disappointed when a woman tells me that I’ve made them too tender and I can’t continue to have my way with the pussy. The same with guys; I will work very hard and use whatever dirty tricks I have to in order to get them to cum and I have to make myself stop once they do because, yep, I sure as hell know what it feels like to be gotten off like that and the person who did it wants to keep sucking you – having a cattle prod jammed up your ass and turned on high comes close to what it feels like when a raspy tongue slides across a now very sensitive cock knob.
Of course, this is me and not folks in general but yeah, I think that while giving oral to men and/or women has its things that makes it hard to do, if you don’t go into this with a love of giving head, you’re just making it harder than it has to be. Yes, there are things one can learn to make the experience a good one and, yeah, having to peel them off the ceiling after the fact is an ego rush to end all rushes. The physical things? Well, you just learn how to deal with them or bypass them, like, if sucking dick on your knees causes you incredible pain, um, don’t do it on your knees and certainly never on an unpadded surface. You can build up “endurance” to do this and maybe this can minimize the physical impact on your body and whether it’s dick you’re doing or pussy. It’s fun to do but not really all that easy to do and I can’t honestly say that women are harder to give oral to or that men are harder: I know that both have their difficulties that can affect you at all levels.
Lovergirl, does this do a better job of answering your question?