As I continue to read blogs written by others about being bi and bisexuality, I find myself wondering why there are so many people sweating all the dumb shit that’s being put out there. Not all of it is completely dumb shit, like, being careful about who you sleep with… but the disinformation being spread all over the place seems to have a lot of budding bisexuals and a few ‘experienced’ bisexuals wasting brain power thinking about the disinformation instead of focusing their mental efforts on understanding what being bi means to them and how they’re going to fully integrate their sexuality into their daily lives.
I’m not really saying that they’re not right to worry about the disinformation; I am saying that they should just take note of it, see the patterns being laid down, i.e., the continuous hyping of the stereotypes, and then kinda/sorta ignore it because while quite a few of the stereotypes do have some basis in fact, not everyone winds up fitting the general description and, as such, are not guilty or even capable of behaving in the manner that provides the stereotypes so much substance. If you’re spending too much time thinking about the dumb shit, that’s not a good thing and it’s not going to make being comfortable with your sexuality any easier and more so if you happen to get it in your head that if you tell someone (or they just find out) that you’re bi, you just might get a response from them that contains the stereotypical dogma being spread.
To be bisexual, one must be confident in themselves and damn near fearless in order to face the stigma against bisexuality and stay true to themselves in this. To be bisexual, one must always be aware of the consequences of their actions and then be able to project forward in time and think, “If I do this, these are the things that could happen…” – but never assume that things will or can happen; you always hope for the best but plan for the worse and if you don’t have a plan in place for any of this, you might have a few unnecessary problems ahead of you.
The threat of STDs is very real; to be bisexual means being smarter, more selective, highly observant, and other things to lessen the risks and to even avoid them because it’s easy as hell to say “no” if there are any doubts in your mind about the health of the person wanting to get you into bed… and then being fully aware that the only thing that is 100% idiot-proof in this is to not have the sex at all. This particular thing isn’t dumb shit… but there’s a lot of propaganda out there that pretty much says that if you have the sex, you’re going to get infected with something, that this is a given and even that all bi guys (in particular) come pre-loaded with HIV/AIDS… and even if they’ve never taken the plunge.
If having the sex is seriously on your mind and you’re also sweating the dumb shit that’s being mixed into the facts of the matter, uh, you might wind up talking yourself out of having an experience that every fiber of your being is telling you that you have to have. Sitting down and reading the latest CDC report on STDs and bisexuals can be rather informative and can sound quite dire… but it’s not a given that you’re gonna catch something and the more you do to prevent such things, the safer you will be.
There’s the usual bullshit out there about bisexuals being cheaters or having some built-in inability to be in a relationship and while there is some truth to this, the bigger truth is, er, there are a lot of people who fit into this category – and they’re not bisexual, either. Relationships, which are not and should never be a form of sexuality validation, are either going to work or they aren’t – and that all depends on the people in the relationship and how much they’re willing to do in order to make the relationship work. Just because someone in the relationship is bisexual doesn’t mean that they’re gonna run off and do something about their other urges and if you’re buying into this shit, then you’re spending too much time thinking about shit that might not apply to you.
Believe in yourself more than believing the hype. Things like coming out is a very serious decision to make and while one may have the urge to tell everyone they see that they’re bisexual, you don’t have to do that and I don’t give a fuck what the bullshit out there says about having to do it. Just like with a lot of things in life, think first – then act, if you must and if you have the slightest thought that it might not be in your best interest to come out to anyone, don’t do it. Yeah, some would say that’s being cowardly or that you’re being deceitful but the truth, while damned revealing, can be a lot more difficult than you think and can cause you more problems than it supposedly solves… unless you’re one of those folks who enjoys having their head handed to them and in some rather unpleasant ways.
If you have it in your mind that your local LGBT community can be of some help to you, ya might wanna make sure that they can; a lot of the angst against bisexuals being hurled around is coming out of the LGBT community. I’m not saying every branch is like this… I’m just saying you might want to get a very good feel of your local community before you kinda/sorta put your future as a bisexual in their hands. You might want to think about whether or not you want to throw your support into an organization that’s dealing out more prejudice than it’s getting rid of or an organization that wants to put your concerns as a bisexual on the back burner because they don’t feel that your sexuality issues are more important that those of lesbians and gays.
I’ve been reading a few blogs about this and, personally, I find it deplorable behavior; it’s not our fault as bisexuals that we don’t have the same problems where rights and other such things are concerned and any organization that wants to minimize the impact of my sexuality isn’t worth me spending any time supporting them. It’s not a condemnation of the LGBT community as a whole… but there are some bad apples in the barrel.
And, finally, if you’re paying attention to the dumb shit out there that suggests that you aren’t what you believe yourself to be, you really shouldn’t be paying any attention to it because, bluntly, how the fuck do they know and what gives them the right to tell you that you’re not what you think you are? All that bullshit about being confused, going through a phase, and that you have to pick one side or the other is just that: Bullshit and some really smelly bullshit at that. You should always keep your own counsel on this one because only you know what you’re thinking and feeling about this.
Don’t believe the hype… and don’t sweat the dumb shit.