I’m still kinda recovering from my trip to the dentist last week and, no, since I’ll have to go back for more work, I’m not looking forward to it. I haven’t been all that inspired to write – until now – and, as usual, while reading through some stuff with the “Bisexuality” tag, I got to thinking about something: It ain’t easy being bisexual.
I don’t know whether it’s the assumption that we’re all so horribly promiscuous that feeds into the illusion that being bi is a piece of cake, that it’s easy for us to date since we’ve got more options, and probably a few other things I can’t think of right now but it’s no walk in the park. It seems that the only thing that scares some people more than someone who’s gay is someone who’s bisexual; all of the negative stereotypes pop right into a person’s mind and you’re just automatically guilty of a lot of shit – and shit that you’ve probably never done – and you’d never get a chance with some people because of this.
Other than the whole dating/relationship thing – and I’ll remind one and all that this isn’t and shouldn’t be a validation of one’s sexuality – the biggest thing a lot of bisexuals have to deal with that makes being bi not so easy is dealing with what’s going on inside their head, from “What’s going on with me?” to “What the fuck am I gonna do about this?” I don’t completely buy into the hubris that bisexuals have the highest instances of mental disorders – I’d hazard a guess and say that anyone who has reason to question their sexuality has the potential to work themselves into a mental state that wouldn’t be conducive to their every day life… but, yeah, for a lot of bisexuals – and this includes the newbies and even the curious – you can overload your brain pretty quick trying to sort your thoughts and feelings out over being bisexual… and that’s just over trying to come to grips with it in the first place. When it comes to doing, um, well, that’s really not as simple as it might appear to be and the only thing more frustrating than having the desire to physically express yourself in this is not being able to do it.
We’re accused and blamed for so much when there’s a good chance that a lot of bisexuals don’t even do anything to deserve to be a part of this blanket condemnation and just knowing that they are adds more internal pressures to the mix; being bombarded by this bullshit coming out of the mouths of people who have no fucking idea what it’s like to be bisexual can make us pretty pissy – I know whenever someone would start talking this shit to me, the urge to be uncivilly nasty to them was pretty great and only an effort of will kept me from making a scene… but it didn’t stop me from shredding their asses for essentially being stupid and believing the hype.
Even with those of us who are comfortable with our sexuality, it’s still not easy… because life’s not easy. See, the thing that those who would see us erased or “reassigned” isn’t paying any attention to is that while our sexuality is an integral part of our lives, it’s not the only thing; we have to live in the same world, under varying conditions and, yeah, we have a lot of the same problems, from having to work and pay taxes to the joys and woes of whatever relationships we can establish. You stick us with a pin… and we bleed red just like everyone else… but it’s not easy to just go about your life when there are those who believe that just because you’re bisexual, you’re somehow so terribly different from everyone else.
They don’t see that we’re not so terribly different and because they don’t, it makes being bisexual harder than it has to be by always putting us on the defensive and making us all culpable for mistakes made in the past and made by others. We’re all not guilty by association and more so since we’re not all bisexual in the exact same way… but they don’t see any of this and they just blindly and I have to say ignorantly go about their business to make being bisexual even harder than it has to be – or as it is already for a lot of us.
It’s not a walk in the park, nor is it a bowl of cherries; it’s not a piece of cake and to look at bisexuality through rose-colored glasses is wishful thinking at best. Oh, you bet your ass, I still think that being bisexual is a great way to be because you can have the best of both worlds… if you know how to do it and, importantly, who to do it with. And even when you do know, it still ain’t easy…