I can’t say why this memory surfaced; since my stroke, I know I have… blank spots in my memory, things that either got wiped or otherwise rendered inaccessible but, as the years have passed, some things just show up “out of nowhere” – like this one.
We’d been talking for days and I found my conversations with this potential first-timer interesting as we not only revealed those “personal” things about each other that I believe are required to connect with another guy but, in particular, his trip down the road to find someone to “remove his virginity,” as he had put it. I was amused to read that he had “perved” my profile several times before deciding to make contact but I could also understand his hesitancy and more so when he mentioned how many times he thought he’d found “the right guy,” only to discover that he hadn’t.
I had already decided to meet with him halfway through our first conversation; I had read his profile, of course, and there was just something about the way his words appeared on the screen that told me that, yeah, giving him his first experience would be meaningful for both of us. I would find myself nodding to read about the many times he attempted to take the plunge but, well, shit happened; either he’d chicken out or the other guy would or, a few times, they were both ready to go, only to have something pop up to spoil things. He wrote with a passion that spoke to me and I wanted to tell him that first day that, yeah, let’s get together and do this… but experience taught me to be patient, to let him make the proposition when he was ready to put it on the table so for the next three or four days, I’d sit and read his messages about his thoughts about this, his desires in this and, of course, how long he’d known that he liked guys as much as he liked women… and that voice inside of him screaming for him to get some dick.
He had finally made the proposition and we agreed to meet at his place the next day; I can remember how excited his words had become when I agreed to meet with him and, honestly, I was feeling rather anxious myself, not so much because of the chance to (a) get some dick and (b) give yet another man his first time but because his story captivated me. He welcomed me into his home and we sat drinking coffee, just talking and now that we were face-to-face, I could get a better feel for the man, hearing his voice, reading his body language and, yes, noticing that his cock was already hard. He saw that I had glanced at his crotch and laughed, saying that he was obviously eager and excited to finally meet me.
Then the pregnant pause descended upon us, that moment when there’s nothing more to be said and it’s time to act… or not. I was being unusually patient, waiting for him to make the first move but also prepared to be the first to act – it’s just easier that way when the guy in front of you is a first-timer; better to let him set the pace and other conditions so that he’ll be comfortable. The pause broke with him finally asking, “Can I suck you now?”
:”Sure,” I said as he took two quick steps to stand in front of me; I stood up, my hand going to my belt buckle – but he stopped me, his voice and eyes pleading with me to let him do the honors. He was nervous as his fingers fumbled with my belt and the button holding my jeans closed; I stood still as his fingers also fumbled with my zipper but he finally got me undone enough to hook his fingers into my pants and underwear and pull them down. I automatically stepped out of them and kinda kicked them to the side as he knelt before me.
“Damn, that’s nice,” he murmured, his eyes fixed on my growing erection. “I’ve waited so long to do this… but I’m kinda scared.”
“I understand,” I said gently, not wanting to push things; I’ve been in this moment too many times and had learned not to be ‘aggressive’ at this point so that the new guy can get his mind right about doing it or not. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to – it’s okay.”
“I’ve gotten this far and turning back doesn’t make sense,” he said, taking one hand and cupping my balls gently – the heat of his hand felt good as I watched him examining my dick for a long moment before taking it in his other hand.
“Here goes nothing…” he said – I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me or to himself but I gasped as his mouth closed around the head of my dick; his tongue fluttered tentatively against the underside of my knob… and then he started sucking me with a ferocity that was almost painful. He was moaning and groaning as his head bobbed up and down, his tongue flicking all over the place and it was becoming difficult for me to remain standing, let alone to stand still because, damn, I don’t know what it is about guys who suck cock for the first time, but I’ve always found it difficult to hold it together. But hold it I did, even though my knees were starting to fail in doing their job of holding me upright.
“Let’s go to the bedroom,” he said breathlessly after letting me fall from his mouth – and I was kinda glad that he did stop because had he kept going, well, I’m sure you can guess what would have happened. I almost laughed when he led me to his bedroom by wrapping his hand around my dick – I thought it was just plain cute. Once there, he stripped down, exposing his own erection and I absently licked my lips to see that clear drop of pre-cum oozing from his slit. We climbed onto the bed and, um, my patience just left; I swung around until my face was in his crotch and, tapping into my own surging lust, swallowed his cock right down to his pubic bone.
“Oh, shit!” he cursed, his body tensing then relaxing for a moment before he started to fuck into my mouth and, damn, it felt and tasted so good! That ravening beast inside of me was going wild as I continued to have my way with his dick; it howled with delight when I felt his mouth covering me once again and more so when he was trying his best to duplicate what I was doing to him; I was starting to pull out some of my “dirty” tricks out of the bag, alternating between feasting on his boner and sucking his balls and, well, since my hands just happened to be in the neighborhood, I used some of the saliva flowing from me to wet a finger and ease it into his ass.
I heard and felt him groan at my invasion; I would have smiled had I not had both of his nuts in my mouth when he started to fuck back against my finger until it went all the way into him, my cue to go back to sucking on his dick. Time did that really strange thing it tends to do: It just ceased to exist we we went at each other, gobbling down each other’s cock and our asses impaled by probing fingers. I was getting very close to the point of no return… but I also knew that he was just about there; I could feel his cock trembling in my mouth, those little ripples and surges that told me that he was going to lose it… and I made sure that he did, too.
I felt his body stiffen, felt his cock swell in my mouth – then felt and heard him groan as the first spurt of his seed shot into my mouth, followed by another, then another; my beast was going ape-shit as I drank it all down, using my mouth and tongue to milk everything he had from him even as he fucked my mouth. Even though I could feel him beginning to soften, I wasn’t about to let go of his dick, not just because it felt so good in my mouth – it was because I was busy fucking into his mouth, pushing myself to the edge until I spilled into his mouth, giving in to the sensations slamming into me. I was dimly aware of his mouth and tongue working against my pulsing cock as he strove to deal with my sperm; this was one of the things we’d talked about so no courtesy warning was required from me.
We lay on the bed, both of us spent and now trying to remember how to breathe so we could get our heart rates back to some semblance of normalcy. I remember looking up at him to see how he was doing… and he had his eyes closed and a smile on his face as his hands absently stroked and kneaded my ass cheeks.
“How are you doing?” I asked, breaking the silence.
“Doing great,” he said with a sigh. “That was so fucking good! We are gonna do this again, right?”
“If that’s what you want,” I replied, smiling because he asked the question; in our negotiations, he made it clear that he wanted to have oral sex twice – once to see if he could do it and again to confirm that he liked it the first time.
“Damned right I do!” he said – man, you just gotta love that first-time enthusiasm!
I switched positions and before he could react, latched onto his neck, sucking it gently. He moaned and went limp against me as I nibbled on his neck and ears, his arms wrapped loosely around me, holding me close to him as I fucked with all those sensitive places. He was already humping up against me even though neither of us were nowhere close to being able to get hard again. I wanted to work my way down his body but spent a little more time on his neck and ears because, um, he wouldn’t let me go and he seemed to be having fun grinding his cock against me.
“I wish you could fuck me,” he whispered, grinding against me harder. We had agreed on no anal sex beyond inserting fingers and while my intelligence was okay with this condition, the lust within me was hoping that he’d change the conditions because I did want to screw the daylights out of him… and, yeah, there was a way.
“I know you didn’t want to fuck… but I know a way to fuck you without penetrating you,” I said into his ear.
“Do it…” he moaned, tightening his arms around me.
“Turn over…” I commanded, rising up out of his grasp to give him room to move. He turned onto his belly and I laid down on top of him, being careful to keep my weight off of him and pressed the head of my dick against his back hole.
“Oh, wow…” he said as I fucked against his opening. I could feel him relaxing and my cock was getting hard enough to penetrate him… and I wanted to even though I would have been breaking that promise I made to myself – but this guy was worth breaking that promise and, yeah, I would be willing to give up my ass to him if he wanted it – that’s just how great a person I thought him to be. But a lot of doing this is sticking to whatever agreements were made before the clothes came off and even though I was now oozing enough pre-cum to get the head of my dick inside of him, I resisted the urge and settled for fucking against his hole.
“How’s this?” I asked, whispering once more into his ear and letting my hot breath caress it.
“It’s good,” he said softly. “I can feel it trying to go in me…”
“Okay,” I said and kept fucking against his hole. It felt so good to be lying against him like this and, oddly, it felt good to be at war with myself because I knew that I could ease my knob into him and he wouldn’t object one bit. One part of me was just waiting for him to say, “Stick it in me…” while another part was telling me to not even think about it because the rules are the rules.
“Do it harder,” he said, humping up against me and I complied, thrusting harder against his hole and, yipes, feeling my knob begin to slip into him.
“Uh…” I said as he screwed his ass against me. “Any harder and it’ll go in…”
I can’t say if he heard me – he should have since his ear was still right there – or if he’d gone past the point of caring if it happened or not… but we both gasped as my dick head started to shove its way into him.
“Yes… yes… god, that feels good…” he moaned, humping up against me so fast that he was going to buck me right off of him. I was straining to resist the urge to just plow into his hole, grimacing against the resistance of his sphincter which was, of course, trying to expel my knob even as it worked to keep that part of me inside him.
“Damn, I’m gonna cum,” I groaned, unable to keep the pressure from building inside of me.
“Do it… do it… cum in my ass…” he said – and clamped down on me as hard as he could. I exploded and the feeling hit me hard enough to make me stop breathing for a moment; I could feel my dick pumping sperm into him and, damn, I couldn’t remember feeling such strong pulsations as my balls emptied themselves. It felt good… and it felt ‘bad’ all at the same time because, yeah, the promise was broken right along with the conditions we set before the fact.
We lay joined together like this for a very long moment. I pulled out of him and watched my flood of sperm begin to ooze out of him… and was compelled to say to him, “If you want to fuck me, it’ll be okay.”
He looked at me as I lay down next to him and asked, “Why would I want to fuck you?”
I explained my philosophy about it to him and he just looked at me as if I’d lost my mind when I told him that I felt it to be fair and just for him to fuck me because I’d fucked him. He said, “That’s so generous but, no, I think I’d be happier if I didn’t and, honestly, I don’t want to.”
We got out of bed and went to clean up; part of me was unhappy that he chose not to fuck me while yet another part was quite happy that he didn’t want to. As I washed up, I knew I would be spending some time “whipping” myself for getting carried away and letting the moment go too far but, at the same time, this kind of sex – just like any other kind of sex – is about doing what the moment calls for and that rules can be… altered, conditions changed, stuff like that so while I would slap myself around a little, it was really going to be okay.
We got dressed and I was ready to head home – he had some errands to take care of – but we both agreed that we should see each other again – and we did hook up a few more times. In those times, he wanted to be fucked with just more than the head of my dick and I was okay with that – as long as he at least tried to fuck me in return, not just out of fairness but because I wanted him to fuck me. He resisted but relented and, well, it was really rather nice; he did say that he enjoyed it but for whatever future, having me fuck him would be enough to make him happy.
Then the company he worked for transferred him to another state and we didn’t get to take things any further than we already had and I felt that while we wouldn’t have become a couple in that sense, we would have been long-time sexual partners.