I was reading a blog written by a gay man who opined that he was homophobic because he has a dislike for “overly effeminate” men and while I offered in my comments that it didn’t make sense for a gay man to be homophobic, a few thoughts wandered through my head about men and sexuality but, of course, not necessarily pertaining to straight men (not that I’m dissing them in any way).
My thoughts flashed back to some earlier musings about some dudes ranting and raving that if you can’t deal with a dick, then you’re not a real man; they also went back to take a quick peek at my own “dislike” of effeminate men and it’s not that I dislike the person – it’s just that the behavior of them acting more like women than real women would behave just rubs me the wrong way. It’s a pet peeve and I’d long since learned and understood that just because I don’t like this particular behavior, it would be kinda fucked up if I started hating on guys who behaved like that unless they gave me a real reason not to like them.
Back to the “real man” thing for a moment or two. When I first heard this, it pissed me off because the guy who had said it was, in my opinion of his writing, a total asshole given the demands he was making, like voicing his disdain for “men who act like bitches,” as he put it or any man unwilling to let him fuck them. But I actually sat and thought about it seriously – what does it take for one man to have sex with another man other than lust? It does take some courage, even if you’re experienced in these things because, well, guys are still guys even if they happen to like dick and male ass and you never really know how a man’s gonna behave when his lust has him in its grip. There’s the whole thing of dealing with another man’s cock and more so if it’s a dude’s first time getting intimate with one; the appearance can be off-putting and even scary when you’re not really used to seeing a dick that up-close except maybe your own and getting up the nerve to touch it – let alone put it in your mouth – can be a daunting situation. Hell, I’ve been dealing with dick longer than I care to remember and even I have to take a second or two to gather my courage to deal with the dick.
Perhaps “courage” is the wrong word in this context; perhaps the word “conviction” would be better suited to what it takes to have sex with another man? Yeah, you have to be 100% certain that you do, in fact, want to go against all the rules regarding sexual activity, to know within yourself that – if you happen to be bisexual – that pussy and dick are things that totally floats your boat and, no, equality in this really has no bearing on anything, nor does frequency; it doesn’t matter how many times you partake of another man’s cock. Even if you only do this once or twice a year (or whenever you can find a willing dick), it’s that conviction, that dedication to your own pleasure that matters the most.
At least in my opinion, anyway – what do I know?
Then again, thinking about the clown who was ranting about real men, if he’s never taken a dick in his mouth or ass, um, how the fuck would he know about being real in this regard? And if you’re wondering, yeah, I did ask him if he sucked dick or could take it deep in his ass and, of course, he said no – he wasn’t that kind of nigga… but he expected everyone else to be? I don’t have much patience with people who can dish it out but can’t take it because one of those tests of character is being able to dish it out… and take it, too. Sure, one could argue that it’s all about choice and personal preferences and, okay, I’ll buy into that but, really, if you’re unwilling to be fucked or have another man cream your tonsils, I don’t see where you get off questioning someone else’s manhood when you’re behaving a lot less that the “real man” you expect and demand others to be.
And then they wonder why no one wants to throw down with them? Maybe it’s because they’re not real enough?
It’s been one of those days where doing a lot of “coherent” thinking just hasn’t been on the menu – but this was on my mind… and now it isn’t.