The Top Searches widget on my Dashboard had been silent for a while and when it did decide to come back to life, it said, “bisexual cheating” and I thought, “Hey, didn’t I write something about that a while ago?” Come to find out that not only did I write about that, I wrote about it twice, “way” back in 2012 and earlier this year: https://kdaddy23.wordpress.com/2012/08/30/bisexual-cheating/ and https://kdaddy23.wordpress.com/2014/01/23/bisexual-cheating-revisited/
Seeing this again, I wondered what else can be said about this that hasn’t already been said? All I can really do is reiterate some stuff, beginning with the kinda obvious fact that being bisexual and in a relationship isn’t always the best situation to be in and that, having said that, bisexuals can be quite happy being in a relationship. I can say again that cheating, as a whole, isn’t a confined thing and that means that anyone regardless of race, color, creed, religion, or sexuality could cheat if it served their purpose to do so. But since the stereotype exists that bisexuals can’t be faithful in a relationship, it gives being bisexual more of a black eye because, as they say, we can’t seem to make up our minds about who we want to have some kind of a relationship – and “who” means men or women.
I can repeat that people cheat when their needs are not being met by the person they’re in a relationship – this is the part that makes infidelity a universal kind of thing because we should all know by now that monogamy mandates that if you’re in a relationship with someone, then you are expected and demanded to let that person take care of all of your needs; likewise, the person you’re with is also tasked with the same responsibility and monogamy isn’t a fan of change, i.e., when a person’s needs change, monogamy can’t account for the fact that a person’s needs can change beyond their partner’s ability to accommodate them and when that happens, well, you’re stuck unless you do one of several things: Keep having your needs unfulfilled and stay with all the unhappiness this brings to the table; you can dissolve the relationship and throw away all that’s been invested in it; you can try to convince your partner to change the rules or otherwise modify their thoughts or behaviors so that your needs can be met (usually in exchange for something of equal or greater value); or you can cheat… and then hope you don’t get busted.
I can frown (but you didn’t see me do it) at the fact that people just assume that if you find yourself with a bisexual, they’re gonna cheat on you as a matter of course, like bisexuals have no other agenda than to cheat. While most people abhor cheating, I’ve seen situations where the only thing the “offended” partner focuses on is the fact that they got cheated on and little focus is given to why their partner cheated on them. Now, understanding the why of this doesn’t make it right; it doesn’t provide justification for such an immoral act and, usually, even when the why of it gets explained fully, it’s not gonna get you a “get out of jail free” card and your relationship, such as it was, will come to an early demise.
Everyone and regardless of their sexuality, gets stuck in a quandary: They’re pretty sure that the person they’re getting into a relationship with can and will take care of their needs, just as they’re pretty sure of their ability to take care of their new partner’s needs… and then they find out that it ain’t happening because, for some reason, when you get into a relationship and you get past the honeymoon parts of it, shit changes and not always for the better and sex is usually the first victim of change, as in the lack thereof or a lack of quality or quantity or a change in “services required and rendered.” Yes, people do try to work through these things while others, eh, they might not be so interested in putting in that level of detailed work and more so since “weaknesses” that weren’t visible before the relationship began will now be exposed and who likes having their inadequacies tossed into their face?
You can try to work things out; you can choose not to do the required work to effect change – or you can choose not to change at all – and just try to be happy with what you’re getting (and if you’re getting anything at all at this point)… or you can, as a whole lot of people have done over time, say, “Fuck this – I’m gonna get what I need someplace else!” and, well, you know how that usually turns out. None of this is different from what a bisexual in a relationship might have to deal with but with one exception: If they choose, need, or want to cheat, they can do so with someone who is the same sex as they are instead of cheating in the “conventional” sense. That our long-standing morality says that a man should never want the touch of another man or that a woman should never want the touch of another woman doesn’t change the fact that wanting this ‘different’ touch does happen and, no, not everyone is aware of this before getting into a relationship – some people do find out after the fact but this really isn’t the main point in this: The main point is that some people like pussy and dick (and not necessarily in that order).
People who have never had the craving for the same sex really don’t understand how powerful an urge it can be and by this I mean they can’t understand it from a bisexual’s point of view because they’re not bisexual so this craving is quite foreign to them… but not so dissimilar from having that craving for some new pussy or some new cock if you’re straight or gay. We know that there are people out there who just cannot be monogamous – it’s just beyond their abilities. Most people are fine with monogamy… right up to the point where their needs are not being met and then some action has to be taken and, yep, if they’ve tried to work it out between them but they don’t want to break up and they still aren’t having their needs met, guess what might happen?
I can only reinforce the plain and simple fact that sexuality, such as it is, isn’t the alpha and omega of cheating and just because some bisexuals have cheated on their partners, it does not mean that all bisexuals are going to cheat. Yep, I’ve seen some numbers that say that bisexuals are more likely to cheat than heterosexuals or homosexuals and I’ve wondered where they got those numbers from, just like I’ve wondered if this is being aimed at bisexuals and to draw attention away from the fact that heterosexuals and homosexuals are just as capable of cheating?
For us, if we cheat, it’s because we need something that our partner couldn’t possibly provide for us, i.e., if “Cynthia” needs pussy to complete her requirements for her overall happiness right along with cock, her man – “Evan” – doesn’t have a pussy so he’s totally incapable of giving her what she needs and, as such, automatically fails to take care of that need for her. Of course, conventional thinking says that “Cynthia” shouldn’t want or have any other needs and that “Evan” would be well within his rights to hand “Cynthia” her head for having the nerve to want some pussy when the rule is she should be happy with just “Evan’s” dick. There’s even a weird double standard at play here, like, if “Cynthia” were to cheat on “Evan” with her new girlfriend, “Brenda,” well, hmm, some would say that “Cynthia” didn’t cheat because there’s no other man involved and, besides, don’t girls just do this anyway so it’s really no big deal? Ah, but if “Evan” were to go out and suck some guy’s dick or otherwise have sexual congress with another man, well, ain’t he the most rottenest bastard of a cheat imaginable?
But I greatly digress. The bottom line is that cheating isn’t the sole purview of bisexuals; if someone has a reason to cheat – and they think they can get away with it – then they’re gonna do it. They say bisexuals are greedy… but anyone who cheats is someone who wants more than what they’re getting in and from their relationship so how is it that a bisexual is greedy… but someone who isn’t bisexual can’t be just as “greedy?”
Some thoughts on this subject – again – and for whoever was searching for this…