Dealing With Lust

23 Oct

One of the things I’ve had to learn over my time as a bisexual man is dealing with another man’s lust, something that women should be familiar with and that men, in general, should at least be aware of.  When I go back to the beginning of my “journey,” I realize that my induction was the result of a drunken man’s lust (not that I knew that at the time); likewise, as I went forward from there, I know that my awakened hormones – and those of my fellows – introduced us to our own version of lust which also included the thrill of doing something we’d all been told not to do.

I found that another man’s lust was a good thing because if he didn’t have a usual outlet – read that as having a woman willing to fuck him – his lust would send him looking for alternatives, namely, any guy willing to get him off and, well, that’s where I came in – and the pun is intended this time.  In those early days, I can’t really say that I experienced the rougher, nastier side of a man’s lust, the side of a man that makes him demanding, arrogant, uncaring, and other such things that would make a sexual experience something you’d wish you could forget.

As I got older, I started to see more of what the power of lust can do to a man, mostly, him trying to impose his will on me by trying to force me to suck his dick or, worse, trying to fuck me when I didn’t want to be fucked or, if I did want to be fucked, it would be in a manner that I would describe as “brutal” to have him slamming his dick into my ass so hard that there was more discomfort than pleasure; likewise, I found that a man’s lust can drive him to treat your mouth as if it were a pussy or an ass and while some might think this is fun, trust me, it really isn’t even if you’ve managed to master your gag reflex.

I know it made me leery about getting with men and it put about a million or so questions in my mind concerning how to tell if having sex with a guy is going to be a good experience or not because, as so many women have learned, a man will do and say anything to get you to drop your drawers and submit yourself to his lust and, sadly, the only real way to find out is to go ahead and do it… then hope that you didn’t make a bad decision to engage with him.  This older version of me now knows how to read body language and to read between the lines when a man is putting out his proposition but, eh, in the early days, I’d yet to develop those skills so trial and error was pretty much the only way to go.

I learned that in some situations, another man’s lust can throw a big bucket of water on the fires of your own lust and just take you out of the equation and teaching you that it really isn’t any fun to engage in sex when your desire for it has been kicked to the curb and tossed off a cliff.   I’ve seen men go from being cultured and intelligent to raging, mindless, vulgar, animalistic entities when their dick gets hard.  It can be unpleasant; still, if you want and/or need the sex, you know that you’re gonna have to deal with another man’s lust in some form or another.  Some say that you get used to the variations; some even prefer the rougher stuff… but not the kid, oh, no!

I didn’t mind being fucked with what I’ll say was a medium kind of lusty urgency because, all too often, time was a factor as well and you just had to hurry up and dump your load before you got busted.  I didn’t mind having my mouth fucked in a similar manner because, well, when you’re sucking a guy’s cock and it starts to get good to him, having your mouth fucked is almost automatic and here’s a tip for guys getting their dick sucked:  Try to stay as still as possible and let the person doing the sucking work their magic – it’s easier on the oral cavity!  Anyway, when I got into adulthood – and before I decided to pass on anal sex – not only did you have to deal with a man’s lust and whatever form that showed up in, you also had to deal with whatever influence porn had placed in his head; it wasn’t all that unusual for a guy to have watched some porn, seen the rather violent way people would engage in sex, and decide that this is how it’s supposed to be done… and that the person on the other end wants it that way.

There were many times when I had to stop a guy from being too rough with me and, yeah, there were some times when I had to, ah, convince him to stop acting like a battering ram in my mouth or butt.  You learn, along the way, that lust is a very hard thing to control and in a situation where control is deemed to be important; you don’t really want to lose control and more so since you want the sexual act to last as long as humanly possible… but some guys I experienced just didn’t know the meaning of the word and, as such, hammering away like a person possessed would be the only thing on their lust-filled mind.  One of the other things I was able to learn – and, yes, the hard way and this pun is intended as well – was that subtle difference between knowing that the person you’re having sex with wants to have it with you… or you’re just a means to an end.  It is an unspoken thing – well, most of the time it is although I’ve had guys tell me that their only interest in me was what I could do for them.  Such a thing makes you feel used and, sometimes, I would feel so dirty and in ways no amount of soap and water could ever get rid of.  You learn, through such experiences, that while it’s  just sex and all that, you do kinda want it to be about you and those things that are desirable within yourself.  You learn that, yes, you love the sex and the thrill of it all… but being some dude’s cum dump can sully the whole thing when his lust makes him indiscriminate and inconsiderate.

At this point, you might have a question on your mind:  If the shit can be that bad at times, why bother to do it?  It’s a legit question and one that I’ve found myself asking at times and my answer has been along the lines of my knowing and understanding that dealing with another man’s lust is an occupational hazard and more so when I know that my own lust is saying, “You want some dick, dontcha?”  It’s about taking the good with the bad while trying to avoid the bad if you can and with the sure understanding that, eh, you’re probably not gonna do well in that area.  It’s one thing to have a love for this kind of sex, to know your own desires and, yeah, even be proud of the accomplishments you’ve made along the way… but there are times when another man’s lust will, indeed, make you wonder why you even bothered.

You get to understand what women have to deal with and it can even change the way you deal with a woman when it comes to sex because you can pretty much bet the house that she’s run into some of the worst manifestations of a man’s lust just like you have and, thus, removing the compassion, the consideration, and even the intimacy that having sex can provide.  You learn the best way to get your dick sucked and that unless she tells you to fuck her mouth like it’s her pussy, um, you just don’t go there; you learn to ask her before the fact how she likes her sex – gentle, kinda rough, call 911 – whatever, just like you learn to care for her as a person and not just an object of your lust – you learn what she has learned in that being used as a cum dump or otherwise abused isn’t fun (although, again, some people think this is the bomb way to have sex – go figure).

You can learn a lot from a man’s lust and more so if you happen to be a bi guy.  You get to see the root of it, that it’s not always about love or even liking the guy and that it’s about getting off at another man’s expense, that the other guy is just there to be used, as if the guy’s only purpose in life is to service his needs and slake his lust.


Posted by on 23 October 2014 in Life, Living and Loving


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4 responses to “Dealing With Lust

  1. Ann St. Vincent

    23 October 2014 at 21:48

    I have always thought that a guy will pretty much say anything to get sex…thanks for confirming that. I feel terrible at this exact moment and reading your post helped me understand – partially – why.


    • kdaddy23

      23 October 2014 at 21:58

      It’s one of the biggest knocks against us, Ann, and even the good guys are automatically suspect because of this. Some bi guys aren’t really aware of this unroll they get subjected to it and it’s not as much fun as one might think unless they’re into the rough stuff.

      I’ve been pounced unmercifully by guys who were nice before their lust came to the fore front; either they lacked control or they believed that this is how men are supposed to have sex with each other… and some of us will lie like rugs to do it, be it another man or a woman.


      • Ann St. Vincent

        23 October 2014 at 22:28

        I haven’t had really really rough experiences – only a few – as a result of a wild lust. But I’ve definitely been on the receiving end multiple times of men who just want to use me as a depository. I feel like I could be anybody…and that’s a terrible feeling.


      • kdaddy23

        23 October 2014 at 23:32

        Indeed it is…

        Liked by 1 person


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