Here, Here!

06 Nov

I found a pingback on my Dashboard this morning related to this URL – – and, as is my habit, before I approved or disapproved it, I went to check it out and, well, damn, it brought something to my attention that, honestly, I’ve never paid any attention to in this context.

From a sexuality point of view, I’ve learned that effeminate men make me a little nuts – but I don’t hate on them even though a man trying to out-woman a woman gives me the willies.  If you go check out the URL, you’ll find that the author’s writing about Black men who are, for all intents and purposes, dressing up in women’s clothing – celebrities, according to this writing – and, yeah, I kinda find myself agreeing with a lot of what the author had to say, not that I give a flying fuck what celebrities are doing in the first place – but I don’t ignore the fact that there are a lot of men who (in particular) who do pay attention to what Black male celebrities are wearing these day.

The author mentions Tyler Perry’s “Madea” character and, yep, the brother has gotten mad rich, not only for his brilliant writing and directing skills but also because “Madea” is a stone trip so, yeah, an actor dressing up for a role, that makes sense.  But the author also mentions Kanye and had a picture of Kanye wearing something that I wouldn’t even wear in my home, let alone in public; indeed, when you look at some of the pictures the author provided in making his point, those brothers look ridiculous and, yes, because a lot of people treat celebrities as if they walk on water, this trend is spreading and, yep, it kinda sends a wrong message and more so if a guy wearing this stuff isn’t an effeminate gay man – not that such a man would affect this type of clothing but you almost kinda ‘accept’ that he might if he were more of a transvestite – it’s complicated.

Now, there are men who are into cross-dressing and wearing women’s clothing just floats their boat; there are some who will go out in public decked out in women’s clothing, complete with all the accoutrements that makes them look like a woman, which is fine… unless they happen to turn out being an ugly woman – check out the author’s picture of Michael Strayhan and you’ll see what I mean.  I don’t have anything against cross-dressing men but I know I wouldn’t do it just as I know someone would have to offer me some very serious money to do it.  I know a few effeminate men and they’re all gay and none of them dress up like women.

The thing that makes this “bad” juju plays into the myth that Black men are homophobic; this, of course, is a lie because all Black men are not homophobic but, yeah, putting on the air, facade, or persona of a homophobic Black man is part of the swagger, like, totally dissing homosexual men even though the guy doing the dissing is handling some business like that.  So, um, if the word on the street is that all Black men are homophobic, er, ah, why in the name of all that’s holy would a supposedly homophobic Black man dress up as a woman?  Doesn’t make sense, does it?  Is it totally okay for a Black man not to be homophobic?  Sure it is!  Is it okay for Black men to dispel this myth?  I believe so… but I don’t think running around wearing a dress is the best way to do it and then trying to maintain one’s manliness while doing it.

Go check out the URL and, if you’re of a mind to, come on back and share your thoughts about this!


Posted by on 6 November 2014 in Life, Living and Loving


Tags: , ,

8 responses to “Here, Here!

  1. Pyx

    6 November 2014 at 15:29

    okay I didn’t even bother finishing that entry and what exactly is the wrong message with clothing?
    I think the knee jerk reaction to colours and length being feminine is a bit.. well dumb.homophobic even.
    My husband wore kilts, we had two daughters – whom wore jeans and what I guess you would call ‘mens’ clothing?

    seriously this was just some down right lame ass gripping if you ask me
    single mothers raising boys alone… fuck yeah if he wants to get his hair did with his sisters and mother by all means… men have a problem with boys not being boys need to take a serious look at what exactly is manly these days.


    • kdaddy23

      6 November 2014 at 15:41

      Kilts are cultural and clearly not a dress or a skirt. There’s so much talk among Black men about stepping up and being real men and with that in mind, nope, wearing a dress or a skirt – but not a kilt – sends a mixes message, not that I personally care what Kanye wears – but others might. Remember purses for men and the flak men got for having them?

      Maybe the author was just bitching and moaning and I know that I think it’s damned peculiar but to each his own – just don’t ask me to put on a dress or a skirt out of some sense of a fashion statement…


  2. Pyx

    6 November 2014 at 15:50

    Yeah it wasnt a tartan kilt and it wasnt cultural – it was work pant material and brown.
    and it is a skirt – it is a skirt for men and the Chinese wear them too
    they even have slips to go under them
    pants as you wear them have not been around that long…

    what is a real man exactly? the way someone with a dick dresses? seriously? Women in the military must confuse that guy to no end…
    the last time i looked the good ole days werent all that good – we dont keep our faggots in closets anymore and we dont hide our kids with downs. I would think given the stigma of gangster clothing and cultural behaviours in the black community wearing pink is really small on the scale of guns and murder. Are we seeing the other side of blow back from black males on .. black gay males? that liking pretty things is a bad thing?

    So tell me, as a man that sucks dick and some say that is not manly, what is a man? What is manly?


    • kdaddy23

      6 November 2014 at 16:09

      You make good points and being manly isn’t just some status men are supposed to hold to – it’s whatever a guy think constitutes being a man and not someone else’s idea. So, yeah, I suck dick, something a lot of men find unmanly but only the truly insular would believe that… but I still wouldn’t wear a skirt or a dress because it disagrees with my self-image and I could care less if dressing like this is a new manly thing to do – I ain’t doing it and I reserve the right to see it as troubling even if no one else does.

      I know what a lot of Black men in particular think about being manly and that whole homophobic bullshit I’ve heard since I was a child because you eventually learn that you have to follow your own path and define for yourself what it means to be a real man and wearing a dress and citing manliness is just too weird for me personally. I’d suck dick in a heartbeat, not out of some sense of manliness but because I find it pleasing and, duh, it’s obviously not just a female thing to do.

      It’s about perception, Pyx, and this is more dangerous than the truth. Does it take being manly to wear a dress or skirt? Some seem to think so but even I draw the line at some things and call them weird because no matter how much dick I suck, I ain’t wearing a dress or a skirt; if some other dude wants to, that’s on him…


  3. Pyx

    6 November 2014 at 16:20

    It takes bravery to wear what you like knowing others are going to mock you for it – bravery something I contribute to what being manly is all about. Bring bold is where men have lived for a long time, how else would we have advanced as a society and to be adventurous – not to mention being a mentor for other young men in the community.

    I think it’s weird too, I myself would not call it attractive (that one particular dress) but it doesnt outrage me either to condemn the men in society as less than what they are…men. I think it’s great that you cover all aspects of being a black male in society – including your sexuality – so thank you again for it!


    • kdaddy23

      6 November 2014 at 16:42

      Yeah, you’d better be brave given the shit that’ll be thrown at you for it. As men, we define what it means to be a man; we know what the standard is and we either use it “as written” or decide what this will be. Black men tend to have a chip on their shoulder and, according to stereotypes, anything that insults our manliness is to be abhorred and rejected out of hand, like crying or being seen as weak and, yes, having sex with other men.

      Suck cock and fuck other men? Eh, that’s just sex and not something that one would be seen doing in public (unless they have a lot of nerve!) and even this isn’t being effeminate outside of the inescapable sexual roles attributed to sex – someone “has to be the girl,” as it were even if neither guy is a girl, if you know what I mean. This is, strangely, acceptable… but wearing a dress as a matter of course? If it’s cultural, okay, that’s to be respected – like kilts – but as a fashion statement or a way to garner attention?


    • kdaddy23

      6 November 2014 at 16:43

      And you’re welcome, Pyx!


  4. biwifelifeandbiwivesclub

    6 November 2014 at 18:18

    Reblogged this on BiWifeLife and The BiWivesClub and commented:
    I love this guy KDaddy! He expresses some awesome points of thought in his blog.
    I followed the link and read a totally honest, ferociously real article I truly enjoyed.
    My family and I read it together as we viewed the pictures. At the end of the article
    I had to give the author applause. I really did. Awesome pingback! 🙂



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