The Answer

22 Nov

Yesterday, I asked if anyone knew what it mean if a woman is sporting the Queen of Spades – it can be jewerly, a tattoo, an article of clothing (or more than one) and – drum roll, please – the answer is:  It indicates that she “exclusively” likes sex with Black men – but I wonder if it could also apply to women who love Black women as well?  I even wondered if the King of Spades meant that men exclusively likes sex with Black women or men.  I also wondered which of the playing cards one would use if they exclusively liked sex with, say, white men and women – maybe the King and Queen of Hearts?  I dunno and if anyone does, let a brother know, okay?

It’s known as “the Mandingo Syndrome,” the “Black Experience,” “BBC Lovers,” and includes the saying, “Once you go Black, you never go back!”  Once a very taboo thing to do, interracial sex has been “all the rage” in porn for as long as I can remember before interracial relationships started becoming acceptable unless you wanna count any of the reports throughout history where slave owners were handling some business out behind the woodshed or the slave owner’s wife taking advantage of the house staff’s “availability.”

I know there was a time where if a Black man was seen in the company of a white woman (in particular), some bad shit could jump off up to and including the Black man losing his life for having the audacity to not stay with his own kind… and I don’t know if anyone who didn’t grow up with this can really appreciate just how fucking ugly this situation was, oh, say, about forty years ago or thereabout.  At one point, Black women were on the rampage against any brother who had a white woman for a friend, lover or, gasp, a wife; I can remember too many times when a clutch of Black women would roll up on a brother and his Caucasian girlfriend and all holy hell would break out, from verbal attacks to physical ones because even forty years ago, it just wasn’t cool to cross racial lines like that.

I’m kinda laughing a little as I remember the first time I heard, “Once you go Black, you never go back!” and my asking the question, “What the fuck does that mean?” and, yeah, someone had to explain it to me and when they did, all I said was, “Oh… okay; really?”  In my experiences at that time, which included relationships and/or lovers with someone who wasn’t Black, well, I never saw any of that – I’ve always been “colorblind” in this but once it got my attention, I became aware of the mystique surrounding Black lovers and the people who did, in fact, desire and prize them.  Then you tack on the “All Black men have big dicks!” stereotype and, well, y’all probably know the rest of the story.

I heard all of this while in high school, along with some other racially inspired stereotypes, like, white guys ate pussy but Black guys won’t (I knew this was a lie and a half!); white girls sucked dick but Black women won’t (knew this was a lie, too) and despite these things making the circuit, sure, I ran into a lot of white girls who wanted to find out what the deal was with this and, you betcha, I thought it was pretty damned cool… until a few sistas I knew got in my ass for fucking white girls and asking me, “What, Black women ain’t good enough for you?” – trust me, you never wanted to be confronted by some pissed-off sistas about this; I got into a few tussles with white guys for, as they put it, “stealing their pussy away” and this, too, wasn’t what I’d call pleasant.

On the one hand, none of this shit made sense to me but when I factored in the racial prejudice from back “in the day,” yeah, okay, now I saw what was going on here.  It still didn’t make sense; being racially prejudiced is stupid and hating someone solely for the color of their skin is pretty narrow-minded and insular.  If I was hating on a white person, it’s because they did something to cause me to hate on them… but it wasn’t because they were white.  The year before I started high school, there was a major race riot (this was back in 1969) and rumor said that the riot got started in the school because of Black guys fucking white women (and then those white women wouldn’t give white guys the time of day afterward).  Stupid, right?  I never believed the rumor but felt that, yeah, it could have gotten started like that.  It was so bad that when I told my mother I was going to that high school the next school year, she didn’t want me going there because of the violence of the riot.

It’s one thing to know the history of this and, trust me, it was very different having to live it.  What you learned was that love and sex, all by themselves, is totally colorblind and attraction doesn’t pay much attention to color lines either – it just is what it is.  If anything, a change was in progress and there were many people of all races who were dead set against the coming change (and some still are in 2014) – but the change took place and now interracial pairings are just a matter of course… but, yeah, there are people who do wonder – or have “proven” for themselves – if that saying is really true (as well as the big-dick stereotype).


Posted by on 22 November 2014 in Life, Living and Loving


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2 responses to “The Answer

  1. oceanswater

    22 November 2014 at 14:55

    I read the full Mandingo Series. Great stories, I couldn’t put them down. Now as for interracial dating, the man I’m with happens to be a white guy and of course I am an African American female. White men have been attracted to me for as long as I can recall. But then so are Black men. I happen to know (for many reasons) that big dicks are fairly evenly distributed between white and black men. My darling J has just the right size for me, and it’s always ready for me… I believe black women started dating white men when many black men seemed to be dating “only” white women. And the ones now who decide not to date outside of their race are really missing out. My J and all the other white males I have dated have treated me like a queen. They also love being with me and getting glares from black men. It’s kind of funny for a change… 😉


    • kdaddy23

      22 November 2014 at 15:24

      The reasons why are kinda interesting when you dissect things and look at how some Black women tend to behave as opposed to white women – and there are some differences I’d one would “dare” to examine them. There are some truths to the stereotypes as there are untruths… but the reasons behind the truths are, on my option, quite telling.



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