Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Discrimination

04 Dec

Once upon a time, gay people were the scourge of society, sexuality heathens that dared to defy the “natural order” of things like love, sex, and relationships.  They were despised, hated, assaulted, and even murdered as social and moral pariahs.  Growing up, I faced a lot of discrimination for being Black… but it wasn’t as bad (for me) as it was for gay folks.

Today, being bisexual is in the target zone; we are facing discrimination similar to what homosexuals had to deal with and we are seen as been worse than gay people have ever been because of our duality.  We are seen as duplicitous, greedy, indecisive, confused, conflicted, in great denial about being truly homosexual, and a major disease vector just to name a few things.  It is said that we don’t really exist, that we can’t exist, and there are segments of society – and in other global societies – that are doing their best to denigrate bisexuals and in every possible way.

Even when you step down from the higher social picture, bisexuals aren’t all that well accepted in their peer groups and the lack of acceptance and understanding can greatly impact our ability to enter into and maintain relationships because, thanks to the ever-growing smear campaign against bisexuals, people are more willing to believe the perceptions, stereotypes, and misconceptions than they are the truth of things.  This isn’t to say that these negative things don’t contain some factual information but we – humans – have always been of a mind that if one is guilty of something, all who are like this are just as guilty.

Where we face the greatest angst about being bisexual is when we want to be in a relationship with someone who believes that people should be straight and anything else is some kind of affront to them, their sexuality, and maybe even their religious beliefs.  It’s still a form of discrimination and it’s tough trying to fight against it which is probably why a lot of bisexuals won’t let it be known to a lot of people; you wanna be in a relationship with someone, it’s easier not to tell them than it is dealing with the possibility of a very negative reaction from them that will make the relationship not happen… or make an existing one end.

Just like any other form of discrimination, it doesn’t make sense that it happens – can’t we all just get along?  And despite the illogical behavior in this, it happens just the same; it highlights a trait of human behavior that, frankly, doesn’t make us look good:  We just don’t like that which is different.  In this, if the majority is heterosexual and opposes any form of homosexuality – and for any reason – the discrimination exists.  We know this tendency exists; all we have to do is look at the period of time when racial discrimination was in play as a good example so that this spills over into sexuality is quite sad… but not all that surprising.  The good thing is that at some point, this will go by the wayside – maybe not in my lifetime – but we will eventually stop being “stupid” about our sexuality differences.  Even in the face of the discrimination against bisexuals at the social level, it is being revealed that with the sole exception of how we prefer to love and have sex, we’re really no different from straight or homosexual folks; we all have to live our lives and in the best way we can and in the face of all the shit that can (and will) be thrown at us.

You’d think that we’d have better things to do, oh, like working on doing something about the increasing levels of poverty in this country and other things that would go a long way to improving the quality of life for everyone.  But, no – we’d rather spend and waste time shitting all over bisexuals and then doing it because we choose to be neither straight or gay; we’d rather focus on all the negatives associated with being bisexual instead of what contributions a bisexual can make, like, there have been some very famous bisexuals who made a significant difference in our history – and there are bisexuals now who are doing the same thing.  But there have been – and are – straight and gay people who have stepped up and helped make this society what it is today and a society that others are literally dying to be a part of when they leave their respective homelands to come here; they are willing to risk their lives and freedom by trying to get their piece of the American Dream (such as that is anymore) – and it’s still better than living in some other places in the world.

People are saying that this discrimination against bisexuals is a problem and, frankly, I don’t see that it is except in that there are certain factions running about who are going out of their way to make being bisexual a problem… and for what?  Because we’re “different?”  Because we don’t like pussy or dick – we like pussy and dick?  That we find that the heterosexual and homosexual models don’t quite fit our needs where living our lives is concerned?  It becomes a damned shame that in a country where people are guaranteed “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” issues about sexuality are saying that you do, in fact, have this right… as long as you’re heterosexual.  Yes, this is changing and to the point where if you’re homosexual, okay, you can join the party… but you bisexuals?  We don’t want your kind here and all because you’re not like us.

But we are like you… kinda.  Again, we all do the same fucking things – we just don’t do some of them in the way that’s now considered to be normal; otherwise, there’s no dissimilarities between any of us.  Offhand, I can’t think of anything that’s being said against us that couldn’t apply to someone who’s straight or gay – but there probably is and if something can be found, you’d probably have to do some serious digging to find it.  Straight and gay people cheat just as much as any bisexual might, can spread diseases, can be flighty, can be unable to commit to a relationship, suffer depression, think about and even commit suicide and, yep, can even be in denial about their sexuality and then be pretty damn secretive about it, like those heteroflexible folks who act like bisexuals but say they aren’t bisexuals or the gay folks who do, in fact, like heterosexual sex but still say that they’re gay – and they’re not very damned likely to let this be widely known either.

But this is how we behave, isn’t it?  I read a blog a little while ago (forgot to copy the URL to give the author more credit) that was talking about the injustice being heaped upon bisexuals… and I asked them, “What injustice are you talking about?”  Y’all know I’ve been bi for a very long time and while I’ve seen wholesale hatred toward homosexuals and more personal dislike for my sexuality, I’ve not seen any injustice toward bisexuals.  That author talked about bisexuals being oppressed and I thought, “What the fuck is that about?”  I said to them that as a Black man, I’ve seen more injustice and oppression in this that I ever have seen being bisexual… so what’s going on here?  Now, yeah, I know that just because I’ve never seen it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist and I did ask the author to give me an example of this that they know of.

And while I’ve sat here and read about the growing angst against bisexuals, things like oppression and injustice, well, I don’t see it… but what I do know is that homosexuals, who are oppressed and subject to injustice, are still fighting against these things and it makes me think that given where a lot of the angst against bisexuals is coming from – those gay factions in the LGBTQ community more than straight people – this is more of a thing where misery loves company; they’re still getting their heads handed to them (but not as much as before) and they think it’s only fair that we share their problems by accusing us of having “straight privilege,” for instance and in the face of the fact that there are gay folks out there posing as being straight because they know that if they didn’t, they stand to lose a lot.  I said to the author of that blog that I’ve never heard of a bisexual losing their job because they were bisexual – but I know that it happens to gay folks; I’ve never heard of a bisexual being denied housing or other such things because they were bisexual – but I know that gay folks have.

I have never heard of a bisexual being denied a marriage license because they’re bisexual… but, yep, gay folks have and still are since not all of the states have embraced gays getting married.  Gays have been oppressed and discriminated against big time – no denying this… but to pass this level of discrimination on to bisexuals just doesn’t make any fucking sense – their problems just aren’t our problems and, besides, we have enough problems being bisexual in the first place so it’s not like we need some extra shit on our plates.

Why am I ranting about this?  Because the discrimination is real and if you’re bisexual, you should at least be aware of it – but you don’t have to let it fuck with your life – and you shouldn’t let this shit fuck with your life.

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Posted by on 4 December 2014 in Life, Living and Loving


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