Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Not a Whole Lot, Really…

06 Dec

…except maybe that if you’re bisexual, do what you gotta do – handle your business in the best possible way.  Being bisexual isn’t “easy” – solving a 5×5 Rubik’s Cube is easier.  It took me years to figure out what it meant to and for me – and I’m still working on it because the only thing that’s static about being bisexual is, well, that you’re bisexual… and even that’s not all that static because people do change their minds about such things.  But your thoughts change, as do your feelings, and these things can drive whatever you may do – and even that can change and, no, I’m not talking about over a long period of time but from one moment to the next and depending on your mood.

There was a time I wished I wasn’t bisexual; it’s too confusing, can be a pain in the ass both literally and figuratively, and could easily get me into trouble I knew I didn’t want to deal with.  I eventually came to the conclusion that it made even less sense for me to wish for something to not have occurred after it’s already occurred, you know, closing the barn door after the cows have already left.  You cannot undo what’s already been done but you can take “preventative action” for future behavior, i.e., I could have chosen at any time to not behave as a bisexual, something that made sense since it didn’t appear to be doing me a lot of good… except, well, shit, behaving as a bisexual is just too much fun and that’s beyond the sex – being bisexual has proven to be so intellectually stimulating.  I literally weighed the pros and cons and at the end of my inner debate, I said to myself, “Aw, fuck it – just deal with it the best way you can…”

Ideally, you get to decide a few things, beginning with whether you’re bisexual or not and what, if anything, you’re going to do (or not do).  I’ve been telling people for years that all you really have to do is accept it – but you don’t have to – and while doing something about it can be fun and pleasurable, well, it’s sex and we all know that it doesn’t always go the way we’d like it to – and you don’t even have to do the nasty if you can’t or are otherwise unable to.  I’ve been asked what is the hardest thing about being bisexual and the answer is, “Dealing with myself every day.”  Not pursuing sex, not defending my choice to be bisexual or any of the other things – just dealing with all the things going on in my head about myself and my sexuality every waking (and sometimes sleeping) moment.

Because it’s me, I am constantly thinking about what I’ve done, why I’ve done it, what I feel like doing (or not doing) and how all of the bisexuality-related things merge with all the other stuff I have going on.  It’s about self-management… but it’s really no different from how anyone would go about managing themselves and their sexuality when you stop and think about it and, no, being straight or gay doesn’t really matter.  I’ve found that it does “help” to learn how other bisexuals deal with it or even how they’re not quite dealing with it because it’s still about understanding this thing I have in common with every bisexual out there and how it all applies to yours truly.  Now, I could not think about it and I tried to not think about it but, ah, it didn’t work; five minutes after I told myself that I’m not thinking about this, a thought popped into my head and I said, “Oh, well, that didn’t take long…”

I am far from the “model” bisexual.  I’ve been there, done that, got too many T-shirts, and I’ve not always done things the “right”way, i.e., I’ve made some bone-head mistakes, let opportunities go by the wayside, things like that but that’s to be expected when you have to deal with your sexuality as if it’s on-the-job-training.  I find that I envy bisexuals of today because they have so much information at hand; there’s mentoring and other assistance designed to help a bisexual deal with their feelings so, yeah, I had to learn shit the hard way and while I have no reason to regret any of it, yeah, if I knew then what I know now, things might have been different… but if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.

I do believe, however, that I’ve done alright by and for myself.  I’ve learned to be comfortable with being bisexual and how I go about being bisexual but it wasn’t an easy road to travel – that Rubik’s Cube I mentioned was way easier to deal with.  I’ve spent the last few days emptying my head out about things bisexual because I still believe that it’s important for anyone who thinks they’re bisexual or are sure that they are to know that they’re not alone in this, that they’re not weird, some kind of freak and that despite what others are saying, bisexuality is real and bisexuals do exist and, importantly, there’s no such thing as too much information when it comes to this; in this, knowledge is truly power.  As I was reminded yesterday, bisexuals do need to empower themselves by quantifying, qualifying, and validating their bisexuality but they also need to not let outside influences try to invalidate them in any way.  There are a lot of people who aren’t exactly fond of bisexuals – and I’ve heard a lot of the reasons why they aren’t and, okay, that’s what they think and feel.  They don’t like it, would prefer that I wasn’t bisexual, but since I am, all they can really do is not like it.  It’s not that I don’t listen – I do want to know what they have to say because, who knows, it could be important to me but at the end of the day, the decision to be bisexual – and to remain bisexual and true to myself – still rests with me.

This is how it should be, not just for myself, but for anyone who is bisexual and to whatever degree that might be.  Do what you gotta do and handle your business – do what is best for yourself because if you don’t, who’s supposed to do it for you?  Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s a cup of coffee calling me…

Leave a comment

Posted by on 6 December 2014 in Life, Living and Loving


Tags: , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Acquiescent Soul

Watching life as it passed by

Justifiable Opinions

We all have them, lets share what we think

Jenny's Swinger Party and Dating Advice 🎉

23 year old real estate agent & swinger 💋

Katya Evangeline

From Missionary to Sex Preacher and Loving It!

Domestic Discipline, Jenny style!

Unconventional journey to unimaginable fulfillment.


All the things that make me, well "me."


If I had a power color, it would be sparkle. Landon Brinkley

Hopeful Heartache

Ramblings about life, relationships, anxiety, depression, and questions.

SeXXy Julie

Sordid Sex Stories & Erotica of a Cougar

Temperature's Rising

It's getting hot in here...

A Question of Lust

"Love My Way, It's a New Road"

Madeline Harper



Random thoughts from a random mind

Equal Anarchy

Equality, Gender, Feminism, Sexuality

Sensual Desires

Sensual Poetry


Writing about recovery.

The Watering Hole

Where everyone comes to quench their thirst for insight to life's challenging questions.

B0Y . LU5T

Coming to terms with being male, atheist, married, over 40, bisexual, kinky and blurring the lines of monogamy while living in a conservative "red state" .


Parts Of My Life

Date A Bisexual


The Wise Serpent


Fetishes, Gender Issues, Sexual Politics, Erotic Memoirs

a worried whimsy

bouncing between happy and anxious

ann st vincent

My journey through marriage, open marriage, divorce, being a Mom, sexual rebirth, online dating, failed relationships, and lots of sex

The Conquest Files

"The truth is rarely pure and never simple." - Oscar Wilde

More Is Merrier

Views on consensual non-monogamy

Brighton Bipolar

Adult Survivor of Child Abuse and Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder - Working towards ending the stigma of Mental Illness

The Self-Actualized Life

Have a fulfilling life sexually and every other way!

Assentively Yours

Ramblings of a depressed mind and other nuances.

Larry Archer's World (

------ Erotica from the dirty mind of Larry Archer


is there a path to a successful open marriage?


The silent inside of an anonymous Indian rebelling against society

The (Bi)te

The uninteresting world of a young bisexual girl


What Perspective Matters Most Depends on Your Perception


Just my random thoughts and meanderings... I'll try to keep you entertained

Roller Coaster Life of a Fat Girl

Highs and Lows of My Weight Loss Journey


when and why size matters


I write when the choice is to die if I don't

%d bloggers like this: