Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: The Sex

11 Dec

First, I am pissed!  This is the second time I’ve written this post today; for some reason, the original post vanished as if I never wrote it.  Anyway, yesterday – and before my traitorous computer decided it needed to derail my train of thought by needing to install 22 Windows updates, my thoughts circled back to the sex bisexuals could have if they wanted to.  Not the acts themselves but more along the lines of what answer is to a particular question: “Why do you have sex like that?” – and sometimes the question is, “How can you do that?”  Morality aside – and one must set it aside in order to understand what I think is a  rather obvious answer – the question(s) can be answered with a question:  “Why do you have sex?”

It’s not like any bisexual who is sexually active both ways doesn’t know that, yep, there are rules about who you can have sex with and since we cross that line and break a few rules to have same-sex sex, there’s what we’re supposed to do in this… and then there’s what we can do in this and, um, we do it for a rather basic reason:  It feels good.  The rules for heterosexual sex get hammered into all of us at some point:  This is the way it’s supposed to be, it’s only to be done with the opposite sex, shouldn’t be done casually – you should really be in a relationship and/or in love with someone – you know the rest of the rules, right?  It goes without saying that if I give a guy a blowjob, I’ve broken (trashed, really) a few of those rules and particularly the ones that has to do with sex with men.  Yep, I could answer either of those questions by simply saying, “Because I can!” but the real answer is because it feels good to have sex with men and women… because it’s sex.

Duh, right?  In this, I guess some folks tend to overlook the obvious and choose to simply look at sex the way it’s supposed to be done which, obviously, isn’t the same as how it can be done.  In this, bisexuals shake things up because when we want to do the nasty, we’re not locked into just “one way” to do it because we’re not quite heterosexual… but we’re not quite homosexual.  Sure, we could get into a great debate about the morality of it all but it doesn’t really change anything, not when you have some understanding about human behavior when it comes to sex; morality serves to “focus” our sexual desires toward a specific purpose – making babies and, of course, promoting and maintaining monogamy and other such socially nice things – and things I’m not even going to debate for the purpose of this writing.

Classically, it reminds me of every time a woman has asked me why I suck dick and my asking them, “Why do you do it?”  You’d think the answer would be obvious, right?  Not really; there are some who have thought that their reason for sucking dick is somehow different from any reason I could give voice to – and, in fact, there isn’t a difference because most women, to be kinda general about it, suck dick because they like doing it… and there’s you answering your own question to me about it. Yep, at this point, you could get all into the hot and spicy details but at a high level, I or any other bi guy who does, suck dick for the same reason a lot of women do:  It feels good.  Does one need a reason other than that?

Social niceties imply that sucking dick is purely a woman’s thing to do, right along with being fucked; without offense, it is implied that this is “their job” and, of course, because if they don’t do it, they can’t have babies.  The truth is that, nope, neither thing is just a woman’s thing to do, just like eating pussy isn’t just a man’s thing to do (and if you can get a guy to do it but that’s another topic).  There are the moral things around having sex – no sense in denying this – but this isn’t about being moral, duty, obligation, shit like that:  This is just about having sex – period.  Doing and being done; getting one’s cookies crumbled and crumbling the other person’s cookies, not just because it can be done but because it feels good.

I was thinking, both yesterday and when I wrote the original post that vanished into the ether, that if were to go out and, say, fuck another man’s wife, there are some folks who would see me as a bad guy for doing such an immoral thing… but if I were to give a woman’s husband a blow job, well, there just ain’t enough adjectives to describe how totally fucking heinous a person I am.  Again, there are rules about such things but it goes deeper into why we – humans – would go against the established rules.  Because we want and/or need to… but we want and/or need to because sex feels good and, yep, there are those of us who aren’t too picky about whether or not our sexual partner at that moment is male or female.  Our society has progressed to the point where we don’t really make a lot of fuss about homosexuals having sex; yeah, it’s a health risk and all that… but sex is inherently risky all by itself, isn’t it, and all you have to do (if you were so inclined to do so) is check out the data on heterosexuals catching something unwanted from each other.  This isn’t about percentages or some kind of numbers game – it’s about the fact that purely straight people do catch and give each other some shit – keeping it all high level in this and this fact plays into the perception that sex – any kind of sex – is “dirty;” I’m sure that there are some folks who have heard this particular thing, right?

We could, of course, debate this not only until the cows come home but until we turn them into juicy steaks… but the answer to the questions are twofold:  Because it can be done and because it feels good.  Whether you, dear reader, deem it as right or wrong is up to your individual sensibilities about such things – I’m just pointing out the obvious and most basic of reasons.  Now, as to how a guy could suck dick or engage in anal sex, well, the answers are still valid at this basic level even though even I would admit that taking that first step into this can be daunting but why take the step at all?  Now we can get into wants and needs – not all that difficult to get a grip on because we all – well, most of us, anyway – knows what it’s like to want and need sex but we can return to that basic and obvious answer:  A guy (or even a gal) will get into this because it’s sex and it feels good; for a first-timer, well, they’re hoping it’s gonna feel as good as advertised.  If someone says, “I couldn’t do that!” this is fine – not everyone can and it’s all in what they believe when it comes to sex but, yeah, some people have had reason to change their minds about this inability – probably another topic of discussion for some later date.

The answer to “why” is simple, even if you want to disagree with it:  Because it feels good to have sex.  Yeah, okay, it doesn’t always feel good but that depends on some situational things and I’m not gonna get into those here… and I’m still pissed that I had to write this all over again and I’d ask you to believe that the original version of this was much better than what you’ve just read…

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Posted by on 11 December 2014 in Life, Living and Loving


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