Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Overlooking the Obvious

12 Dec

I sit and watch/read bisexuality being attacked; I’m aware of pretty much all of the negativity supplied by the stereotypes attached to being bisexual and the smear campaign currently in progress that seeks to invalidate bisexuality as a “valid” sexual orientation… and it all makes me scratch my head and wonder why the obvious is being overlooked here.  So here we go…

If we can  admit that heterosexuality is real and if we’ve gotten around to believing that homosexuality is real, why is it so hard to believe that bisexuality is real?  Sexuality is a part of the human condition and, fuck, no, I’m bypassing all that morality stuff for the moment and I might get to it somewhere in this writing but for now, um, yeah, if people can be straight or gay, logic says that there is a middle ground here… except there are a lot of people who, for some reason, can’t see this middle ground or refuses to accept that it does exist.

Now… morality.  As we know and understand this, if you’re not straight you’re about as wrong as it gets and, yes, there’s a reason why this is the preferred and mandated way to be and if you don’t know it by now, well, uh, where have you been?  We understand that morality is a social construct that, in essence, wants everyone to be a certain way, to do things in a certain way, and seeks to eliminate, neutralize, and denigrate any behavior that ‘violates’ the construct of morality, like being bisexual or homosexual.  So if you understand that many people are taught that this is true and should always be true, it’s not hard to figure out why some folks behave the way they do regarding bisexuality and homosexuality and in the face of the evidence that clearly says that not everyone is straight or even wants to be straight.  Ah, but some of these same people can grudgingly admit that, okay, there are homosexuals; they may not particularly like the fact that there are homosexuals but, yep, they’re out there and, as a lot of us know, homosexuals caught all kinds of hell for being homosexual; indeed, quite a few people caught hell for simply being suspected of being homosexual – and they never were.

Despite the battle to invalidate homosexuality – remember, it was once on the list of mental illnesses and there are those who still think it can be cured – yep, those gay folks are still here and their numbers are increasing and those folks who started this war against homosexuals are slowly but surely losing as homosexuality gains more acceptance.  Enter the bisexual, that sexuality entity that, really, not a lot is known about (supposedly) because, unlike gay folks, bisexuality aren’t all that easy to “see” but they now make an inviting target, not only by those folks who believe that straight is the only way to be but by some gay folks who, for who knows what reason, that bisexuals are in such great denial about being either straight or gay (but preferably gay).

Obviously, there are those who are allowing their interpretations of what’s moral to make them overlook the obvious; we, as a species, just can’t seem to get away from the “us versus them” behavior we’ve displayed since people were seen to be different (whenever the fuck that happened in our rather checkered history).  We let these… prejudices blind us to that which is obvious, from the color of one’s skin to religious beliefs and, yeah, how someone chooses to handle their sexual and emotional needs.  Logically, it doesn’t make sense but biphobia isn’t what I’d call logic-friendly; it’s an emotional response that, when expressed, sounds logical but has few basis in cold, hard fact and what facts are present are pretty much negative.  Phobias are described as irrational fears; I’m not saying that I believe that phobias aren’t real by the people perceiving them – I’m just pointing out something, ah, obvious about phobias that was defined and established by people a hell of a lot smarter than I am.  So if biphobia is a fear, um, exactly what are the people experiencing it (or trying to foster it) afraid of?

It’s been my opinion here lately that those folks being consumed by biphobia are afraid that their view of life and the world we live in is being threatened or, if I may say, being proven that what they so firmly believe in isn’t as accurate as they’ve been led to believe.  And the truth is that their perception of the way things are supposed to be is inaccurate and one could say that their perception is an outright lie because, uh, obviously, their way isn’t the only way and, keeping in character as the human animal we all are, well, they ain’t too happy about it and are resisting strongly.  Those immersed in biphobia believe that their arguments against bisexuals is a logical one… but it really isn’t when you understand that phobias are irrational fears – and fear is an emotion.  There are those who actually believe that homosexuality is contagious, like, shaking hands with a homosexual could transfer this sexual behavior to someone and, no, I’m not exaggerating this or bullshitting you – someone actually told me this when voicing their dislike of homosexuals and I’ve heard this one more than once.  But we know that it isn’t contagious; bisexuality and homosexuality isn’t a disease one can catch like a cold or the flu… but we also know that people can, have, and will change their minds about what branch of the sexuality tree works best for them.

I get that bisexuality upsets what’s considered to be the norm these days and because we’re neither straight or gay; it does a number on the black-and-whiteness of our slightly revised morality because in this school of thought, there are no gray areas – there can’t be any gray areas even though some noted scientists way back around the time I was born produced a ground-breaking document that has a well-known graphic in it that, by its very existence, proves that there is a gray area – we know it as the Kinsey Report.  Now, I’ve read that some folks are saying that this report is no longer valid or accurate, just as there are still factions that insist that the Kinsey Report was never valid or accurate… but this strikes me as being kinda silly in the face of the fact that, duh, not everyone is totally and completely straight.  We might need science to straighten it all out but we don’t need science to know that there are a lot of people on this planet who are not straight and prefer not to be.

If heterosexuality exists and homosexuality exist, it just makes sense that bisexuality exists… doesn’t it?  Now, whether it’s seen as being right or wrong isn’t really the issue; what is at issue is that, er, it’s obvious that bisexuals exist and why someone is bisexual doesn’t really matter at the high level of thought.  Once upon a time, homosexuality really and truly upset the moral apple cart… and now bisexuals are seen as upsetting it as well.  There are those who see homosexuality and bisexuality as a great decline in our moral standings, that there are a lot of moral compasses that aren’t pointing north as they “should” be.  Religion, which plays a huge role in morality, makes it clear that anyone who isn’t straight is pretty much going to burn in hell for their sins and there are still religions around the world that say the penalty for not being straight is death – and you will be put to death so you can then burn in hell.  One can think of this of literally being “scared straight,” huh?  Yet, despite these dire portents and threats to one’s life, there are still many people from all walks of life who aren’t straight and prefer not to be.

This isn’t about what’s considered to be right or wrong; this is asking whether or not it makes sense to behave in such a fashion.  This asks why there are people who cannot accept what is painfully and clearly obvious – and then asks that if you have a case of biphobia, what are you afraid of?  This asks why there are homosexuals – and people you’d think would understand why bisexuals are different since homosexuals are different – who are going out of their way to give bisexuality and bisexuals a black eye – where’s the logic in any of this?  This questions “being moral” and whether or not there are people who believe that homosexuals and bisexuals “own” being immoral… and more so when straight people can be just as immoral in their sexual behaviors – so what are they saying here?  Are they saying that being straight and immoral is okay… but being bi or gay isn’t?  Double standards never made sense to begin with and if this is yet another one of those damned things, does this one make sense?

What is obvious and overlooked is that in any of this, we’re just being human, just like the phobias against anyone who isn’t straight is us being human.  Morality aside, there is a certain logic to all of this but with biphobia dropping shit all over the place, the logic just isn’t seen or accepted and one’s perception of that which is deemed as being moral can play into this oversight.  Again, this isn’t a debate on being moral – this is about the logic of things and wonders, questions, whatever, why we – generally, I suppose – get biphobic and if it makes any sense to let our fears make us foolish.

1 Comment

Posted by on 12 December 2014 in Life, Living and Loving


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One response to “Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: Overlooking the Obvious

  1. drdeblaino

    13 December 2014 at 11:33

    Reblogged this on Dr. Debra Laino and commented:
    Good points on bi-



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